The girl's in circles and circles and, circles again...

It always starts the same.  A new morning in the studio...

      

A lovely list of things to do.  Looming deadlines, and exciting things goin' on here and there.  An untidy house, and chomping at the bit for some musical note news... 

The light of twinkling stars bounces off the walls, as coffee brews...

        

Everyone gets dressed, or stays in their little house on the prairie nightgown...  Noone minds, and the owls are sleeping, so they won't notice...  The only rule left to follow is, wear the costume of your hearts greatest desire...

       

On this very day, I found my morning rituals of making sure things were semi-tidy, and the birds were where they were supposed to be, very difficult.  I was giddy.  I was excited, I was overwhelmed.  

 

We had been in search of new piano keys to reside in our country home.  The girl just can't live without a piano. It isn't possible (just don't tell the upright bass(es), the guitars or the mandolins).  Not one more breath can be taken without a large playable creature in the country.  She missed her pianola like crazy.  But La Pianola, was not intended for the country house.  She was a city girl - and resided at the little city house...  

 

The evening before this giddy day, Mister Lovee knocked on the door to my very private boudoir.  He slowly entered, his hands behind his back.

She heard a faint tune.  So beautiful and haunting...

   

She sat up in bed, as Mister Lovee's face glowed with joy.  She said "I am already overjoyed, please show me..."  A gift.  A tiny wooden Grand Piano made in Spain.  The same shape as the piano they hoped to own in the coming days...

She couldn't help it.  She felt her emotions overflow.  They poured out.  She cried and cried.  She cried some more.  Could he really be so totally lovely she thought, as she gasped for breath.  She looked his way, as he took out his handkerchief, and blew his nose, for he was brought to tears as well...

To be loved.  All anyone ever wants.  To love and for the love to be reciprocated.  

And, it was...  Her heart runneth over...

         

You see, she liked older things.  Mister Lovee included.  So, he went to see a man about an old grand piano.  And they fell in love with it.  And maybe, just maybe, this piano had the character and spirit that the girl longed for...

Mister Lovee and the girl, were so very alike.  It just blew her mind.  She felt thankful, and lucky, and at times, even a sense of disbelief.  That she had such goodness in the form of a Mister Lovee,  in her life...

For 8 and a half years, they laughed, cried and got annoyed at all the same things.  Two peas in a pod. 

So, like I said, on this very day, when she was giddy, and had a laundry list of things to do, but couldn't wait for news on the piano - she spent her time talking to a piano rebuilder, then her piano tuner, and learning about a humidity controlling piano device all morning...

And while she took a break for brunch, she read a few blogs.  And her day started to unravel in a different direction.  Even this blog post changed...

              

On this day, she went to see how Stephanie Nielson was doing.  She checked up on Stephanie, and her family and Carol Decker, quite often...  She thought about those two families, everyday it seemed...

The truth is - she wanted to say something ages ago about her feelings and prayers for those families.  She just didn't know how to.  But today, after checking up on these amazing people, she had to burst out of the house...  She ran and skipped and took off barefoot...

Maybe today was the day?

She wondered if Mister Lovee would mind her telling you a tiny bit of their story...

        

About loving someone, to the core.  About how love saves you.  About, being there, even when all the petals have fallen...

        

She couldn't quite remember how long ago it was?  Was it three years?  2 years? 4 years?  She didn't like to think about it...

But, a few years ago - Mister Lovee was driving down the highway, when a tiny little 90 year old lady pulled off the side of the road (the shoulder) where she had been parked, onto the highway, right in front of Mister Lovee's car.  He never imagined, that the car he saw parked on the shoulder of the highway, would turn to face the traffic and drive directly through the highway, in a T shape.

In a split second, his car spun, and twirled and twisted, and turned into a bent piece of metal. 

All this, as Mister Lovee's bones shattered...

He was on his way to Denver for business.  Bags packed.  He had his head set on, and was talking to the girl (me) - who heard the entire accident.

She still had nightmares about it.  And her brain blocked a lot of the sounds that caused her to faint that day.  While a friend picked the phone up off the floor.  She felt like she was in a tunnel.  She heard Mister Lovee screaming, screaming, sreaming... And her body felt limp and weak...

Soon recovered, she was in her car, racing to the site of the accident. 

It was bad. 

The police let her collect all of Mister Lovee's items from the car as an ambulance drove away with him in it...

She raced to the hospital.  Shaking.  Nervous.  Sick.  Crying. 

Alone.

She couldn't call the only person she knew to turn to.  Him...

She had to be strong. 

He was in terrible shape, covered in that terrible air bag powder.  Desperate for water that he couldn't have...

His pelvis was shattered and they couldn't operate.  All they could do was put him to sleep, and try to set his leg bones back into place and hope they stayed still...  Little pelvis shards, floated around...

He would have no hip socket.  His leg would have to be held in by ligaments and muscles (hopefully).  The hospital stay had just begun...

The first time they tried to get him to walk, it seemed like an impossible task.  She helped him down a long white hallway, and at the end, a picture window held a fuchsia Arizona sunset.

Less than half way there, his shoulders dropped.  He looked down.  He broke down.  His arms shaking as they held his body weight up, on a walker.

She felt emotions she didn't know she had.  She kissed his cheek.

"You can do it Lovee, I know you can..."

This went on as weeks past. 

Finally he was able to leave the hospital.  A walker, crutches, and her, would be his support group...

She alone, had prepared the country house.  A special chair, a special toilet seat (she was proud of that installation).  A special this and that.  He was in a body brace.  It was a very delicate and precarious situation. 

He needed a new wardrobe to fit the body brace...

She was alone, and had never cared for anyone in her life.

She was so scared.

But time, time is alway a good friend.

She was by his side without nary a move for 3 and a half months. 

Noone came to see them...  And she always told everyone that everything was just fine...

Somedays seemed tragically overwhelming.  Other days, were a gift from the heavens.

She went out to the sanctuary.  She cried on her knees.  She begged for a taste of their lives as they used to be...

"Just one day.  Please God, just one day..."

More and more time past.  Luckily he was strong and healthy, and determined. 

They cried often.  He felt, the man he once knew was lost to him.  She consoled.  She held on to him... 

It was a terrible blow to him.  That was true...

But they became closer than ever.

He changed. 

She changed.

Time healed.

And today, as tears stream down, from all those memories and moments, too deep, too delicate, too intense to be able to fully remember...  She feels, feels for the Nielson's and the Decker's.  Whose situations are even greater and more intense than what Mister Lovee faced.  And she sheds a deep seeded tear for Stephanie and Carol, and for their families.

She escaped the house when the emotions visited  today, and returned to that safe little place in the garden... 

The sanctuary...

        

All you have in the face of tragedy is love from those around you, prayer, hope, and time... 

      

So you see. This little blog post, took a funny turn.  Maybe now you see litle bits of, how and why I embrace life as I do.  The silly moments, the fun moments, the ridiculous moments.  I know how sacred they are, how special they are... 

I know, that spending time being negative or sad or worried or stressed and angry, is not a place I want to be.  How can I?  I longed for today, this day, so ardently when Mister Lovee was injured, and I remember that everyday.  It catapults me into seizing the day...  Even if all that means is reading in the sunshine, and taking it easy...

I am outrageously thankful, that Mister Lovee is, besides being broken inside, pretty much, back to normal.  Our life is normal again.  You would never guess by looking at him, that any such thing had occurred...

Is our life how it used to be?  Funny - I don't remember.  All I know is that where we are now is lovely, and it is our normal.  And we embrace each other and every minute of life...

I hope and pray, that in time, Stephanie and Carol, may feel the same.  That they will find a new normal, where peace and joy embraces them... 

I can't imagine how they feel.  As I wasn't the one injured in our case.  Not physically.  But I understand a little bit, of what it's like, to be skipping along, and have a heavy log thrown in your road...

      

And what it's like, to go around it, and find a new path... 

Many ♥♥♥♥'s, V

Title taken from these lyrics...

Comments

[Sarah]

Hi Vanessa,
I read your post with growing sympathy and admiration for you. You and Mr Lovee have been through a lot and it is so good that you have reached the point now where you can look back and talk about the terrible events. You are always such a positive influence on my day whenever I look in and the older I get the more I realize that what you say about love and postivity is true and try to live my life in that way. Thanks for sharing.
Sarah x

[Margie Wouters]

There are always new paths, we are not always open to seeing them. hugs Margie.

[Anji Gallanos]

All the "important" things that I had on my plate to day are now glaringly insignificant. It's just a split, a little slip that could change it all. Thank you for giving me this moment to share what you went through but helping me remember to cherish what is right here in my present.

[Misha/DawaiOser]

That was heartbreaking and yet - incredible. It's amazing what the strength of spirit combined with an outpouring of love can do for the soul.

My prayers go out to your friends, Stephanie and Carol. Even though I don't know the situation I hope they have peace and healing.

[Betty @ She's Sew Pretty]

gulp, sniff, little sob, tears in my eyes. Go give Mr. Lovee a hug from me and then tell him to give you one from me.

[shibori girl]

Dearest Lovely Miss Vee,

You have quite a story to tell. It's amazing, isn't it, when you get hit with something like that and you feel the girl in you decide to suck it up and be a grown up? It is so scary, but you and your Mr Lovee wound up such a strong unit as a result. And you get to go back to being a girl again - that one who twirls in fancy skirts and killer shoes!

Lots of tight hugs,

Kate

[Zoe]

Your words are so poignant and bring me back to a time when I too was a caregiver and longed for the day when we would get back to our "normal". And then I realized that our "normal" was what I made of it and now I long for those days that are so far away and will never be here again.

Thank you for such a beautiful blog. You are such an inspiration!

Zoe

[Joy]

"To be loved. All anyone ever wants. To love and for the love to be reciprocated."

You know what? That sums it all up in a nut shell, it really does. What a time you both went through...your attitude is one I truly admire.

Love,
Joy
xo
(p.s. my hubby is 13 years my senior and we have an unbreakable bond) :)

[Loretta]

Dear Vanessa, what a story! I'm so happy that everything turned out for you and your darling Mr. Lovee! I like the pictures of him with the guitar...my hubby also plays the guitar. I love your blog so much I'm giving you a blog award; please visit my place to pick it up. I always enjoy my time here!

[meredith]

I am in tears. What a moving post.

[somepinkflowers]

oh

oh oh

what a love story,
indeed.
♥♥

sad
and
happy

as Life is apt to be.

a measure of who you are
and
who you will be
comes from the tragedies,
don't you think.

the way you decide
to take the Sudden Unexpected Turn
determines everything.

:-)

when all you can do is stand~by
and be strong
that is what you do.

i call it
getting use to the New Normal
until the Old Normal
can find its way home.

{{ yipppeee! for happy endings
with piano over~tones }}
♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥`♥

[Tracie Hanson]

Your words are such a gift....this had been a day when I had forgotten how precious and wonderful this life is. How insignificant are the things I was fretting about.

Thank you....from the bottom of my renewed and uplifted soul!

[Happy]

I cried through your story. And I related, recalling the day my then 10 year old daughter, my baby, was thrown from a run-away horse, despite being an excellent rider. I remember her lying unconscious, the EMS attendants who couldn't figure out how to get both themselves and her over the fence to the waiting ambulance, the closed head injury diagnosis from grave-faced neurologists, the coma, the slow process of waking up (it's not like in the movies), coming out of darkness after weeks in the hospital into sunlight and thinking how very bright it was, the even slower recovery for us both. It didn't happen to me, it happened to her. But we who love them, we live it too. And we feel helpless sometimes. But we keep on because we must. And one day, we are as whole as we will ever get. I'm blessed every single day that my daughter recovered as well as she did. She is now 31, herself a mother of two beautiful girls. We celebrate life (ain't it grand?!), yet we can't ever really forget. And maybe that's exactly why we celebrate - we remember what it is like to live in the dark, and now the light feels extra bright and warm. Happy

[Jamie]

Oh Vanessa, thank you for sharing that horrible time in your and Mr. Lovee's life...makes me want to go wake up my little (& big) lovee's and make sure they know how much I love them! I'm so glad Mr. Lovee healed and it made you both closer. I've always loved your outlook on life, I think it's great...cherish every moment :-)

[Kris]

Bravo, Bravo,

Sweet Vanessa, how dear you are and how wonderfully brave you and Mr. Lovee are. What a beautiful ending to a tragic event. When there is love, nothing can stop healing and yours was just what Mr. Lovee needed.
My heart is happy for you both and is singing because you both know the meaning of "carpe diem", to seize the day.

Bless you both.

Kris

[Bobbi Jo Nichols]

Vanessa sweet incredible Vanessa you should have had a warning with this post to have a handkerchief with you as you read the powerful words you have written and expressed. So wonderful and loving. Hugs to you and Mr.Lovee. So glad you have each other. , Bobbi Jo

[sadira]

How do we get through this life? I am sitting here with heavy sighs just amazed at what everyone goes through. And, I know whenever I've made it to a different stage, I sometimes am amazed at my own strength...and when enough time has passed, I wonder how I did it at all. Even though I know it's with hard work, giving up, picking myself back up and getting help whenever I really needed it. I guess it makes us stronger and better able to reach for empathy to help the next person in our path...even if that next person is ourselves. Thank yo for sharing your story...

[Chrissi]

I can't begin to articulate how touching this post is!... It reiterates just how wonderful and caring you are, and how strong, loving and resilient Mr. Lovee is... There is a reason you two are indelibly connected, and it's a rare-rare gift that you've been given, which is "each other". I hope and pray that the love you share will "ALWAYS" be there!!!

[Suzy Pierce]

A kleenex warning would have been nice. Yes, now I see why you are you! And you live each moment as if it may be your last. You pack a lifetime of pure joy in each day! I am glad everything is back to normal for you... Have a blessed day! xoxo Suzy

[Cori. G]

Hi Vanessa,
I was enraptured by the beauty of your lovely frilly petticoat and its sweet pink ribbon and then I continued to read and my heart broke for what you and Mr. Lovee went through, but those are the very things that strengthen bonds and glue our hearts together. Did the little ol' lady walk away unscathed? I have such mixed feelings about them being on the road with their poor eyesight and poorer judgment (another topic all together). I do hope Mr. Lovee's heart and spirit have healed. Tragedies like that I think are harder on men because of who they were created to be...men...protectors...knights in shining armor...all those things we love about them.
It does give you a deeper sense and ability to embrace life to the fullest.
You are so brave to share your heart and your story...thank you!

Cori G.

and thank you for posting the divine petticoat...it was gracious of Miss M to allow one of her friends to model it for us...even if she has no head :).

[Jenny S]

I agree, a kleenex warning would have been nice!!! OMG! My husband actually came into the room to see why I was crying. I thought it had been a rough week here with lots of paperwork and my son being bad a school and my husband not taking the trash out on trash day....thank you for reminding me not to sweat the small stuff and that each day is a gift. I am off to snuggle my son and tell him how much I love him and give my husband a hug and a kiss and tell him how thankful I am for him! You are one lucky lady and I feel honored to "know" you. Give hugs to Mr Lovee from me as well!

[Shell]

Life is fragile and anything can happen. We must soak in all the goodness, light and happy times we can. I am happy you and Mr.Lovee had a happy ending!!!

[FawnDear]

Vanessa,

I can't adequately thank you for such a beautiful, inpiring blog each and every time I visit. It is such a refreshing vacation from reality for me. Thank you for seeing the beauty in small and simple things.
I've given you a little blog award because you are the most 'KREATIV' blogger I know. Thank you for letting me stop by your magical abode and sit for a while. Maybe sometime you can stop my my neck of the woods and view your award too.

Toodles,
FawnDear

[Moonfairy]

Huge hug and many warm thoughts from me to you... everything else has been said in the lovely comments above me.

[Paris Parfait]

Oh Vanessa, even though I already knew much of this story, I cried when reading it. It's a wonderful thing to have such great love in your life and you're right to cherish every moment. Mr. Lovee is so thoughtful - the piano! Sigh. What I wouldn't give to have a piano here. Gabrielle has one she would give to me, but there's simply no room. I am thrilled you're getting one and even the miniature is gorgeous! Am so happy for you! And your story is certainly a reminder to all of us to live in the moment and be grateful for who and what we hold most dear. My thoughts and prayers are with those still struggling. Lots of love to you and Mr. Lovee. xoxox

[Frankie Kins]

What a bittersweet, inspiring story. Thank you for the reminder to enjoy each hour of each and every day and to be grateful for this wonderful life given to me.

[i cant sew]

wowzer! i wasnt expecting that... you made my mascara run. i love love! and thank goodness you are a great writer to tell us this most amazing tale of love courage and determination. we should all lead a more positive life and really be thankful for what wew have.
%*_*%

[Tecu'Mish]

Bravo Vanessa!
Tecu'Mish

[Jojo]

Dear Vanessa

Thank you for sharing. We are the sum of all our experiences. I understand now how you became such a magical person. The love that you have with Mr Lovee is heaven made.
I was engaged once before, but my fiance had an unexpected heart attack & passed away at 36 yo. Until today, my heart still bleeds but love never dies, not in illness, injury or even death. I am so fortunate to have experience that love and wouldnt mind going thru it even if I can choose differently.
Thank you Vanessa for your light.

[carolee clark]

Thank you so much for sharing your story...Like so many others who've commented, it struck a chord in me too; memories of almost a year ago, spending every waking hour at the hospital, feeding my husband ice chips and telling him he was strong, it would be OK...one step forward, two steps back, complications from surgery, the move to a rehab hospital, then home to recover....

I clicked on the links to your friend's blogs, and am without words for the challenges they face so bravely. Reading something like this truly puts one's own problems in perspective.

What a gift to read your story, and know for certain even the most frightening adversity can be faced together, and bind you to someone in ways you never thought possible. I know this for certain too, and am truly blessed by it....

Wishing you and Mr Lovee a long and happy life together, whatever path you find yourself on. :)

~ Carolee

[Marjorie]

I have no words to truly express what I want to say.....so all I will type is "Thank You".

I deeply treasure all the people in my life, and Thank You for reminding us all to never take anything for granted.....life is so fleeting and precious!

[Gabriela Delworth]

Hello Vanessa,

You always touch our hearts with your incredible stories...and today you certainly made teary...Thank you so much for sharing with all of us...

~ Gabriela ~

[ylva]

oh, now you made me cry... and i forgot all about those things i was supposed to do. but perhaps that doesn't really matter?

i wish you and your lovee many, many more "normal" days och keep my hopes up for your friends.

hugs,

[Karen Young]

Vanessa, what a lovely story of love, courage and life lessons learned. Thank you for sharing and showing us what's important.

Wishing you and Mr Lovee many years of happiness
Hugs Karen

[Mo'a]

My Dear Vanessa, I have often wondered how one so young can be so wise.
Our wisdom, I am sure, comes from adversities. Those of us that have had much to endure have been given a gift of understanding and love without conditions.
Your story touched me to the core...I am happy that you have found your normal.
Your story came to me at a time when I needed it the most. My 94 year old Father is going through an illness that perhaps will be a bell toll for him.
He has lived a good life and that is what we are celebrating...by listening to his memories. xoxoo

[Rosa]

What a wonderful tribute to the ups and downs of life. As you said, with love and family, we continue on. We are stronger than we think. Many blessings to you.

[Elizabeth Rhiannon]

Hi Vanessa,
I follow your uplifting, inspiring blog as often as I can. I want to thank you for sharing a painful, yet necessary life experience. It made me cry but that's okay :) Pain is a part of life. It sounds like you and Mr. Lovee (I love that!) have created love, strength and a deep bond out of something negative. A true love story in every sense. Your art, your outlook and positive energy are a haven for us all, as is evident on this comment page. Thanks for being brave enough to love and live with abandon and remind us all, from time to time, to do the same ;)
Blessings,
~Elizabeth Rhiannon~

[Jamie Watson]

Oh, you beautiful people. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing so much of yourselves. Valentines has come early and every one of your readers' hearts will leave fuller today. Much Love always.

[jennlui]

oh my oh my!!! my heart aches after reading your story miss vanessa!!! i'm at a loss for words... it is so very heartwarming to know that you and your lovely mister lovee have found your normal and enjoy life and it's beauty everyday to the fullest!!! life events have that effect... to change our perspective and how we see things. i hope as well that others can move away from challenging (and sometimes plainly traumatic) experiences with a different appreciation for the beauty and preciousness of life and our loves within it...

hugs to you miss v and thank you for sharing such a personal story!!! i'm sure it will transform someone's point of view...

love to you!!!

[pam aries]

Oh mY! WHat a terrible terrible thing to go through. Vanessa...you are something else....such a darling gal. You are so right,,,sometimes tragedies make us see the light of life. I understand. Live life out loud!!!

[Kylee]

I am moved by your thoughts! Stay positive and much happiness I wish for you and Mr. Lovee :-)

[SueAnn]

With tears in my eyes I hug you both. Now I see why the sun, moon and stars are so important to you.
Keep embracing the day and dance dear one, dance.
I will go out into the sun and dance with you.
Hugging you
SueAnn

[Katherine]

i, too, have followed the nielsen's story and without any doubt in my mind will tell you that it has changed my life. reading your story i feel the same desire that comes whenever i read about stephanie, christian and their family, which is to reach through my computer to hug and hold on tightly them and now to you.
as terrible as dealing with this tragedy has been, i am so happy that you have drawn strength from it, as not everyone can do this. keep doing what you are doing and enjoying every minute of this life, and i hope to continue enjoying right along with you. much love and many hugs to you both.

[shannon]

I find your posts inspiring not only for your creativity and wit, your lovely photos and beautiful ideas, but mostly for your infectious zeal for living every moment to the fullest.

The very personal story you have shared touches so deeply to the core of what it means to love and to give of yourself completely, selflessly, to BE love, not just feel it.
I thank you so much for sharing, because we all sometimes need a reminder of how precious each moment really is...how everything we think we know can vanish in the merest instant...and how strong we can be when we open our hearts to accept the challenge of going on...

A hot coal of love to you from the chilly Northeast...

[Sandra]

Hugs to you for sharing that very emotional story...I have been praying for Stephanie and her family since her accident and am so amazed at Gods love and faithfulness. I cannot even imagine the feelings of going through each of these lives but I do know that we need to live each day as if it were the last even when things are so messy. Thank you for reminding us how special our days here on earth are.

[Renee Khan]

Thank you.

Renee

[Ariane Cagle]

Oh my... I am so sorry to hear that you and Mr. Lovee had to endure this terrible experience. I hope Mr. Lovee is physically mended now. I can understand though how this experience brought you two closer and how you now embrace your joy of living a fanciful life. It is always better to focus on the joy and wonder of life instead of dewelling in the pain and misery. Hugs to both of you!!!

[michelle]

So that is where some of your wonderful perspective comes from! Thank you for sharing it with us. And I hope your new piano is as wonderful as the tiny one!

[kate]

You made me cry too.... such a lovely story of love and caring. Though it was such a horrible time for you both, I'm so glad that you got out of it your wonderful gift of cherishing life and living for the joys of the moment.

[Jorgelina]

Hola Vanessa!!
Que hermoso el piano antiguo ,puedo escuchar su sonido.
Magico todo...
Lindo fin de semana.
Besitos