Hi, it's me Milos! I survived my first human holiday excursion!
As you can tell, I changed my name. It is technically Milo, but I am calling myself Milos for now (pronounced Meelos), because I am feeling rather worldly with all my traveling these days.
Auntie V, Mister Lovee and I just returned from part 1 of our holiday trip to Dadley's and Granny Bon Bon's. I had a blast. We even went to see Nana Josephina, Grandpa Pedro and all the cousins and Aunts and Uncles (and plus ones).
I was so excited to tell you all about it, but Auntie V is already making art and working on a fun commission while washing and cleaning, all at the same time.
So, I figured out how to use her computer, so I could share my holiday adventures. You know, solely from my perspective. Maybe fill you in on some secrets and stuff. I also got a hold of her holiday pictures. Want to take a peek?
It all started with a car ride about two hours away to Granny Bon Bon's (aka Mombie) & Dadley's. We had a beautiful Christmas Eve dinner. Then, Granny let me stay at the Inn in her wee village. I think I scared everyone at first. Can you spot me in the photos below?
I was having a great time. Minding my own business. Being my personable self. Letting the family listen to music and sing while Mister Lovee played...
And, that is when, drama found me. I promise, I wasn't in search of it. It has a way of finding this bug, all by itself...
You see, I saw an angel. Well actually, she was a fairy, but to me she was an angel...
I felt my heart fall out of my chest and hit the moss. This was no ordinary fairy. She was gentle and quiet. Only problem was, she was also totally disinterested.
Hmmmph. My heart was broken.
But, I had to snap out of it. It was Christmas Eve, and we were supposed to be jolly, and celebrating the life of a babe...
I tell ya, it was beautiful, being there in the manger.
Just as I was feeling good about myself, being a good bug you know, I spotted them...
The shoes that were worn by the kind of woman I needed. They were gold, they were tall, they were audacious.
They were leopard print.
That woman in those shoes was just the kind of woman I needed to whip me into shape...
I sat on the tip of one of her shoes, and spilled out all the sonnets I knew. I gave my heart to her. It was melted, it was like chocolate fudge on a sundae.
But, that is when I noticed, she was carrying her one and only beloved in a red blanket.
Her heart belonged to another.
Snoop Dog's little Brother, Dougie Fresh...
The girl in the gold leopard stilettos told me that she could love us both. But you and I both know, that never works.
So, I decided to leave love behind again. And go to bed, wait for Santa, and ground my heart. I must attempt to control that fluttering wandering heart of mine.
I went to sleep and dreamed of Roweena Rabbit, and how I told her I loved her. But, she was so far away. She would understand if I gave my heart to another...
Anyhow, on Christmas day (after we opened gifts and such), Auntie V had champagne for breakfast with her siblings. The girl who used to dance in discotheques, and suck up drinks that were on fire (through straws) with names like Cucarachas, couldn't even handle one Mimosa. It's true, that she had had two previous nights of no sleep at all. But still...
So, while she slept, Mister Lovee and I went hiking and peeked in at old mines and such. I didn't take the camera with me.
When we returned, Granny Bon Bon was cutting 4 inches off of Auntie V's hair, while auntie V hiccuped from the champagne.
Auntie V and Granny Bon Bon adore each other, and make a wonderful comedy show, I tell ya!
Granny was saying things like, "Why do you have layers in the back of your hair? Did you have layers cut into your hair? Your hair was solid down to your waist on Thanksgiving!?"
And - Auntie V (who loathes layers in the back of her hair, but likes it on others) said things, in her pitiful girl comedy tone like, "please don't traumatize me anymore than I already am (insert hiccup), I can do that to myself bad enough, without help from anyone."
Then they both laughed like school girls. Auntie V severely dislikes cutting her hair when not necessary, but it seemed, some layers had snuck in. So Granny gave her a blunt 4 inch trim, which remedied the layers just like that.
Auntie V was in 3 nightgowns, standing outside Granny Bon Bon's fancy 4 head complex shower without a door thingamabob, hosing herself and everyone else down, attempting to wash her hair without getting fully into the shower. All this while Granny Bon Bon screamed because she was getting soaked too.
Auntie V ended up taking a whole shower in the end, even though she had already had one and blow dried her hair the night before.
It was hilarious.
All was well in the end, and no one could even tell Auntie V had cut a smidge off her hair. Of course, she could.
Girls are so weird. I mean, who really cares about hair?
Soooo, with that, we headed to Nana's. Time for some real authentic eating. I tell ya, those people put lime and chili on everything. Even their candy has chili on it...
So, there I was sitting with Nana by the warm stove, enjoying my steamed taquitos and my tamales, my buñuelos and my menudo -
When I saw a face so soft, I dropped to my knees. My heart pounded, I couldn't speak. She scooped me up and said "Aweee, what a cutie." Then she squeezed me.
It was love.
I asked her, if she could love me, care for me. Maybe, put me in her great big doll house to sleep in a warm bed?
She looked at me as though I was insane. She said, "But my doll house is full??!!"
I asked her, if she was in love already? Then she said the worst words I had ever heard.
She said "EWEEE, boys are stinky!!"
She was too young for me.
She didn't understand.
I sat and wept.
I wept on a curtain of black silk.
I leaned on a warm tree.
But then I realized. It wasn't a warm tree, it wasn't black silk! It was the hair and the arm of a lovely maiden.
The woman of my dreams.
I was sure of it this time.
I had been confused before.
But, this time, it was for keeps.
She was Auntie V's cousin. She was high spirited. She was witty and funny and baked 22 different cookies for the holidays. She was a keeper.
She agreed to love me back, just like that. Her exact words were "Aha, sure, oh ya, I'll love you Mister Bugaboo..."
I can count on her love, can't I?
When it was time to go, she kissed me and said, see you soon.
But will I ever see her again?
Will I have to suffer from a love sick heart my whole life???
Tell me. Am I one sick bug?
As we drove away, far from the village where Auntie V grew up...
I thought, maybe I should just mind my own business and take up crafting? This love business is way too complicated. Auntie V crocheted two hats on Sunday, and I didn't see her sticking her nose into any love business or anything like that. She just crocheted away...
So, I made a garland out of real stars that I plucked right out of the sky. I think I love crafting. It might really keep me out of trouble...
And so, that's what's goin' on around here...
How have you been?
Oops, here comes Auntie V, don't tell her I was here...
Love, Milos (aka Milo)
ps: Auntie V is working on some really fun things. I heard her say that she can't wait to share them.