Art.Life.Heart.Love.

I have so much to say, that I don't know what to say.  Has that ever happened to you?  I have been painting, drawing, crying, laughing, loving, hugging, sculpting, moving furniture, growing seeds and talking to the heavens...

   

I have been painting words that comfort my heart...

   

Creating a little sign, with thoughts and ideas that fill my soul...

   

Full of stars and glitter and delightment. 

I have also been drawing my Original Art Card girls again...  

    

I used to make these for all of my shows, as well as for a beautiful local shoppe (I also used to draw them onto plates I made). 

   

But, other things popped into my life, and I stopped drawing these gals for a little while...

    

But, now they are back visiting me.  I missed them so much.  Oh and, I have actually put 14 of these originals art card drawings in my shop, a few seconds ago...

    

As for life...

   

I have moved outside.  Created a little studio right outside the Gypsy Wagon.  Why have I done this?  Well you see, there is a reason.  Although, I am having a really hard time typing what I have to say...

   

Throughout the last few years, that I left my job to do art full time (and started this blog journey), people have asked why I talk about my life so much here.  Why not just share art and nothing more? 

The answer.  I have no idea.  All I know is that, I go with my heart's flow.  I do and say whatever comes naturally to me.  I left a super stressful job (where even the phone ringing put my stomach into anxiety knots) and followed my path to this place.  A world that lets us all travel anywhere, and meet people everywhere.

   

A virtual place that makes it incredibly easy to share art and life.  My everyday life, and my journey making art, are intertwined.  So, I suppose that is why I share such personal things with you.

Leaving my job 3 years ago has allowed me to bond with a quiet life, a life where I am totally enchanted while watching seeds grow.  Where all the little things in life, have become big things in my life...

   

But most of all, I have bonded with my furry babies.  I have found a love in myself, for them, that I had no idea existed. 

Such a profound love.  I just, absolutely, had no idea...

   

And so - Yesterday was a beautiful sunny day, and it was also one of the saddest for me.

We found out something that we were dreading.

That Baby is very ill...........

   

Sigh...  She has a large growth in her head.  It can not be removed.  It is in the front of her head, between her left eye and her nose, and it is causing many problems, as well as causing her face to slowly shift.

I have a pain so deep in my heart...... 

Her doctor gave her some medication to make her more comfortable, but as you can imagine... 

We don't know how much longer she will be with us.  All we can do now is watch her, and love her, and hug her, and feel blessed to have her in our lives, for however much longer she will be a part of our family.

We adore her beyond words, truly. 

Her little brother is so sweet to us.  He helps to ease the pain with his outpouring of love and his silly antics.  You can't help but cry and smile, at the same time.  Sadness and joy...

   

And soooo, that is why I have moved outside.  The pups play outside all day, and I want to be with them.  I felt like I was suffocating in the house.  I want to be with Baby as much as possible.

So, outside I went.  And, here we are...

   

The fact is, my pups are not "just dogs" or pets to me.  They are my beloveds.  Working from home and being with them all day has created an extra closeness, that I could not have imagined.

I know it is hard to understand, if you are not a pet person.  I used to be one of those people, who didn't understand fur baby love.  And now - I have been touched by a furry gal, beyond words...

So, I am working outside, and all around me the garden is in full bloom.  I marvel at a volunteer tree that we did not plant.  When I look at it, it brings me such peace.  There is a depth, a vast tale about this curious life, living in that little tree...

  

   

And so, in the garden we continue to paint, and make memories. 

   

While, having faith in life's little unraveling path - and the journey it holds.

  

And while on this journey, trying to live each day to the fullest, and not take anything for granted...

    

Hug those you love.  Squeeze them tight.  Make a memory of how they smell.  How their eyes sparkle... 

Tell them you love them, again and again, no matter how annoying they might think you are...

♥ ,V

 

Comments

[Kim]

Vanessa:

I just happened by this new blog post...it's late. After 11:00 p.m. Normally, I don't check blogs at this hour. Something told me to come here tonight. Something told me to come here right now.

And now I see why. Baby....I am so sorry. There are no words that will ease your pain. But, I can say I know how you feel. My Homer Girl, just turned 14 this month and, well, she's giving out. I watch her getting older and sleepier. She's the first fur baby I ever loved.

How calming that you have moved your studio outside during this time. Each minute counts, each shared glance and lick on the hand counts.

Be with Baby and be with Matty and just love them. I don't know you "in real life", but I know you enough to know that you are loving and giving and caring. Your magic world is Baby's magic world as well. You've given her a beautiful life and I know you will continue to do so as long as you can.

Take care of yourself (and Mr. Lovee) as well:

All my love:
Kim
Gerushia's New World

[Julie]

Oh sweet one....I read your posts all of the time and don't comment very much but please know that this touched my heart in the deepest of places. I have seen all of your adoring pics of your sweet babes and I am a confessed furry animal lover (with 2 pups and 6 cats sshhh!... I never usually tell). My heart breaks while reading this. I totally get it. Just know that these sweet babes are so very strong and they can surprise us with their tenacity. And, also know, what furry baby wouldn't want an ever loving, unconditional mama like yourself? What a blessing you and your sweet family are to them. Baby was placed with you for a distinct reason. I will pray for you guys and I do still believe that the faith of a mustard seed could move a mountain. xxxxx

[dena miller]

Oh Vanessa,
As I write this to you my eyes are swelled with tears. I have come to know Baby through your lovely blog posts. I have felt the pain before of what you are experiencing in the past. Also recently with one of my dearest friends' pet. His name was Tucker and he was an amazing and loving companion. I now have two very special kitties of which one of them, we almost lost a few years back. She is well now and doing great but she is getting older. I know how close one can become to their animals...they truly become one of the family...my heart goes out to you and the Mister. I sincerely wish for you to enjoy the time you have with her...love her as you do. She knows how much she is loved..I pray that a miracle will heal her. You and the furry gal are in my prayers!
xoxo,
Dena

[Debra]

Vanessa--my heart goes out to you and your little Baby. You are in my thoughts and prayers, God bless.

[Karin]

Oh Vanessa, I am so sorry to hear the news about your Baby. I can feel the pain through your words. I don't really have anything comforting to say, I am afraid, although I do believe, as far as I can think to know you through your blog, that everyone around you, including Baby, must feel so loved and cherished. Big hug to all of you.

[Anna]

Vanessa, I have never commented here but have followed you quietely because you have been such an inspiration to me. When I visit here I always smile because I share your same whimsical spirit (except you of course are incredibly talented!)This post broke my heart. Just yesterday I posted about losing my dear sweet baby kitty last December. I know what it's like to have no option but to love your furry child for as long as you can. To want to spend every minute with them and rearrange your life to make that possible. There are really no words. My own post made me so sad I had to remove it and tuck it away for now. I hope you'll find comfort in each day you have with her and treasure each moment. I never gave up hoping for a miracle.

[Elaine]

This made me tear up as well. I don't comment often but just had to let you know that I appreciate what you share with us. How lucky you and Baby are to be able to spend more time together. Peace and love to you all.

[Kaz Jones]

It's such a shame they don't last for ever, but think of them all as angels of unconditional love wearing furry suits, who can only spend a short time with us.

[ittybittyandpretty]

pain, love, questions, time, tears, sadness, memories...i have no words, my thoughts are jumbled...i love visiting your world, dont stop and dont change a thing...you are so lucky to have had each other, no matter what happens hold onto the memories and be at peace knowing that you provided the best life for one that is at the mercy of its owner.

xxpeace

[Thanya Ratnaphong]

cheer up V....u did makes my life change..i love everything u did...the baby will be fine...he's just like anything on this universe ...either trees or us,we all just the same...but as what u did..makes used of everyday as much as we can..i don't think about tomorrow for 3 month, i just live for today..when the day end..everything's end..when the new day come everything start...cheer up ^___^....xoxo T.

[Lesley Walker]

Good morning. What a sad and moving post. I'm so glad you are able to work outside to be with the babies. Keep on blogging just as you do. You have no idea how many people share your joy and your sorrow too. Blessings and healing thoughts are being sent your way.

[claire]

The difference between friends and pets is that friends we allow into our company, pets we allow into our solitude. ~Robert Brault,

Oh V i am heartbroken for you. I lost my own furry baby suddenly 2 years ago and i am still waiting for my heart to mend. But you have Matty to look after you. And he will.

[Tammy]

Pets truly do become such loving beings in our lives. Toni was with me from the time I was 2 until I was 17. She was my first fur baby love and although it's been more than 25 years since she's been gone, I still think about her, miss her, and have her photo in my bedroom. She held a place in my heart that no one can replace. So hard when you know there is nothing you can do for them but give them all your love and care until the end. Wishing you all the best. Enjoy the outdoors and your beautiful life as it is at this moment. Many blessings, Tammy

[SueAnn]

Oh dearest one...my heart breaks for you and Mister! I know this is a sad, sad time for all of you. It is so right to be out with Baby...yes!! I send comforting hugs your way. I pray for pain-free times for Baby. Your outdoor studio brings healing to your lives...I know it!
Hugging you
SueAnn

[Cheryl Dolby]

You wrote a beautiful post about love.

[Misha/DawaiOser]

My heart goes out to Baby & you...never an easy time when someone in our family is sick and ailing. I wish I knew what to say but everyone else above me has said it so eloquently. Instead know that I'm thinking of you and sending you a big virtual hug - {{HUG}}.

[eleni]

i'm so sorry my dear joyful vanessa! BUT, maybe there is sth that might cheer you up!!!
in my fairyland there is a new born tiny little hedgehog- elf!!!
please visit it(it is on my blog) and welcome it ,to its new life! i'm sure it will fall in love with you!!!

[flutterbyblue]

I'm so sorry about Baby, but I think it's wonderful that you are able to work outside with the pups. Your blog is beautiful and it is such a pleasure seeing a glimpse of your world through it. Enjoy each day!

[kj]

vanessa, may i hug you? whisper to you that baby will wait for you, run to you when the time comes?

i love that you have moved outside. that says so much about you. i know and share with you the grief you feel. i wish i could offer words that could help in some way.

baby will tell you what is needed and when. i am sure of that.

love to you, ms. v.

your neighbor,

ms. kj

[Linda]

Words can not express how sad I feel for your family. Baby will be in our thoughts. Your sadness will not get any better but it will change. I learned from experience. Please think of only the good.

[Lavender Dreams]

What a tender heart you are...a reason to love you. I'm sending you hugs and wishing you the best. Your art will reflect your life and lead you into new areas. Live it to the fullest and you'll have no regrets. Love, Lavender Dreamer...Diane ♥♥♥

[Sam from Minnie Taylor]

Vanessa, my heart goes out to you. I've lost two beloveds in the last 18 months - both had been with us for more than 15 years, so the chasm was deep and wide when they left. It's hard and no one can say anything that will make it easier but know that there are people out there giving you a virtual hug!

[Julie Marie]

Oh Vanessa my sweet friend... I wish I really could wave my magic wand and make everything all better... I love all animals and Nature with all of my heart and even though I have never met your sweet Baby in person, I know her and love her... you are doing exactly what she needs most right now, being with her all of the time and giving her your unconditional love, just like she gives you hers... we have no pets since our little ones all left for Animal Heaven, as my heart would break each time one of my babies would leave us... when they were sick, I was sick... I really do understand everything you are posting... please know how much I am thinking of all of you and praying your Baby will stay free of any pain and be close by your side for a long time to come... so much love to you and Baby... and to Mr. Lovee and Matty too... xoxo Julie Marie

[Linda]

Vanessa, I have been one of your "silent" followers, loving your Bohemian decorating flair, your beautiful way with words, your creativity, your love of life. Today as I read your post, tears streamed silently down my face, and I just had to write you. I feel like I know Baby, if only a bit, through your blog, and I am sad. I lost a fur baby dog a year and a half ago. We had her so many years. She was elderly, but gone so very, very too soon. I know you have been the best fur mama ever and continue to be. Moving your studio outside to be near your sweet Baby . . . . You are a special gal. Silent tears fall anew as I write this. You and Baby will be in my prayers, dear one. Thank you for sharing your life with us.

[Nicole Underwood]

I'm so sorry to hear this news about Baby.
I understand the feeling...they are always part of the family, not just dogs.
My heart aches for you and your family.
I adore the way you embrace life.
I adore your outside studio.
I adore all your blog posts.
Thank you for sharing with us all.
Baby will be in my thoughts.
Best Wishes.

[Domestic Witch]

I understand you pain all too well, just know that when baby goes to that great spirit in the sky she will take years of love a happy memories with her and leave you with the same.

These times help us remember just how precious every second is.

[Rori]

Oh Vanessa, as a fellow furbaby mom my heart goes out to you. I had to go through the same years ago with my first furbaby who died of a painful urinary disease.

You are in my prayers hon. May you and yours coming days be full of music, art and love!

[hazel]

My heart goes out to you Vanessa. I have lost 2 babies of my own from old age and I am watching my little 14 year old BABY lose his hearing and sight, it is so painful to know he may not be with me soon. But try to focus on the DANCE you've enjoyed together. How wonderful to be loved unconditionally by such sweet babies! My prayers are with all of you.

[Cassandra]

Miss V, my heart breaks for you! I was raised a pet person and always will be (even if my hubs really is not.) It's hard to lose a friend that is so very faithful. Give Baby a big luv from the Dandelion Bones clan. Enjoy your time outside...your little space there looks so very lovely.

[Kaerie Faerie]

So sorry to hear about your sad news, I too just lost a fluffy baby on Easter, she took her favorite toy and went to take a nap and never woke up, I buried her under the big tree in the yard so she can see the birds. My only little one left has a heart murmur, so Sailor may not be with me very long, animals touch our lives so much, I feel your sadness, this has been a tough week
your sad fairy friend
Karey

[Kylee]

v~

Oh my dearest friend!! My heart just broke in two :-( I wish I was close by to give you and Baby hugs. Please know that even though I'm far away I'm keeping you in my thoughts.

[Erin Prais-Hintz]

drip, drop, drip
(those are my tears falling off my nose)
you have been the best for baby. you gave baby a loving home and open arms and unconditional love. you have been touched by baby and this will be very hard. but you will get through it and you will continue to love baby all through your life.
my beloved was a schnauzer named madison. we never knew he was sick until the day he had seizures. that was the end. i should have known something was up that day. all he wanted to do was have me pet him. so i did. and i am glad I did. he was my first 'baby' until the flesh and blood ones came along.
i am thinking of you and mister and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
do all that you need to do.
enjoy the day
erin xox

[Cori]

I am so sorry :( I know how hard it is to lose a fur baby. I'll send happy thoughts your way :)

[Louise]

My Heart goes out to you dear girl, I am inspired by all that you do.
I understand fur baby love, feather love and just love.
I think heartache is gift of love…
It is a gift to the one you love that whispers the love you have for them.
I think it would be a sadder thing to have no pain because you gave no love.
Paint and create and through this you will make a lasting memory of Baby.
The two will go hand and hand …enjoy and treasure these days.

Louise

[Snap]

Oh, Vanessa,

My heart aches for you. Love on Baby .. hold her close ... she will always be with you. Wishing all of you well.

[Deborah]

Oh Vanessa, all dogs DO go to heaven where they chase bunnies and butterflies all day long and lay by crystal streams waiting for the day we join them. A God as Big and loving as ours would never gift us with a relationship that could not be carried out in heaven...for it would be no heaven without all of our beloveds there. Yet, that knowledge does not stop the heart from breaking...I swear I catch a glimpse of my Bear, for a split second, out of the corner of my eye, and then I remember she is no longer in pain, and she runs, Runs, RUNS on the other side of the rainbow. I am so sorry, Vanessa. Sending all of my love to you on the wings of a garden fairie.
**blows kisses** Deb

[Allegra]

Vanessa, I want you to know how sorry I am about this. Lori and I have spoken of your art but believe it or not I always look into your photos to catch one of your pets. We have two noble canines and a feline grand duchess who by rank and temperament lets the "interlopers" know who is boss when they come to intrude into her realm. She still once in a while huffs hard enough at them that they retreat without much ado.

I wish I could find some comforting words to offer, some succor to help you go through this, but even at my age I have never found anything to really offer that to an animal lover could have some meaning or offer some relief. So I will light a candle for Baby, that her time however short or long it may be, be not a painful one, as I am sure she is already aware of the love she is surrounded by at home, and that when the time comes for her to go somewhere else where we are not yet welcome to come, she may come to visit in your dreams, to remind you that she will still be with you, sleeping at your feet, walking by your side, and thanking you for all the love you gave her while she was here. I am so sorry, Vanessa.

[Chrissi]

IT hurts too much to even put into words... I know that magical fur baby love too, completely profound and it NEVER stops growing, unlike human relationships that ebb and flow, for me, the love I feel for my baby girl Doja is a constant! My heart bleeds for you sweetness...

[Laura S.]

I'm so sorry to hear about Baby, and yes, I am one of those people that totally understand what a pet means to your life. They are as important as children (even though some can never imagine it), and I have felt the sadness and pain you are going through. Sending hugs and knowing that whenever and whatever decisions you make are made in love for Baby. If only they could live forever . . . . . .

[Cori. G]

Dearest Vanessa,

I'm so sorry to hear about your beloved Baby. Puppies (no matter how old they are) have a way of curling up in our hearts and making it their home. Puppy love is the truest kind of love and I believe that the Lord gave them to us to teach us about His love toward us.They love with the heart and see only the good in us. I wish I could give you a big huge hug right now, because I know there are no words that can alleviate the pain you must be feeling.
Much love and prayers,
Cori

[Sherri]

Your words are so beautiful and heartfelt. I love that your outside studio sparkles like your spirit does and that you have chosen to be courageous and step outside where you can be close to your baby and nature. I hope my wishes of peace find their way to your baby and to you.

[kristy]

vanessa,

i am crying for you and your fur baby. i have an older dog too and i know one day i am going to travel the path you are on. enjoy baby keep her close and give her lots of love. i know we dont know each other but if i can do anything for you please let me know. huge hugs for you, your mister and the fur babys. take care. oxoxox kristy

[Tristan Robin]

people have asked why I talk about my life so much here. Why not just share art and nothing more?

boy, they don't get it at all, do they? LOL

Love the al fresco atelier you've created for yourself and your fur babies! In the summer, I sometimes work out side with Dusty - but I can't create an outside studio in New England - much too moist! LOL

Enjoy your new space.

[pam aries]

I can totally understand. Postively. On all counts. I say follow your heARt ..that is my mantra..whether it is moving outdoors to be with your loving doggies or blogging about your life. Be Free to be who you are! I am so very sad to hear about Baby dog. I know this sounds trite, but she gets to live her best life with the best friend she could ever have..You. Peace and LoVe from Pam and Spot

[Theresa]

Dearest Vanessa, my heart goes out to you as I know exactly how you feel. Tears sprung to my eyes when I read this. My doggies are my life and my loves. We have no children - they are more than pets to us. Willow and Neo ARE our family-our children. I hug and kiss them everyday, and I chat with them - as I know they understand. We lost our beloved kitty a few months ago, and it was devastating. It tears out a piece of your soul. My little boy developed a limp this past weekend and I got so scared because he is so very young!!! I would do anything for my sweet hearts. Being surrounded by the glory and peace of such a beautiful garden will make your heart sing and bring much joy to Baby and your sweet Mattie. My thoughts are with you and your sweet family. Enjoy each minute with sweet baby. :) Give her a special hug and kiss from me. xoxo Theresa

[Teresa in California]

Dearest Vanessa,
I am so sad to hear that Baby is not well. My heart goes out to you.
I do love your 'original' sweet girl pretties that you 'had' in your Etsy...seems they popped in there and popped out in the blink of an eye! It is so special that you can paint plein air on your own sweet acreage. The weather must be very nice by now in Arizona. It was 77 degrees here yesterday in California and it was so nice and comfy.
Do you have a chocolate cake recipe by any chance, from scratch, of course. I don't do box cake mixes, they taste to 'commercial' Maybe you have one on a previous post. I am looking for a very, very moist, chocolatey, cake with a decadent rich, chocolate frosting, maybe an inside frosting and a different outside frosting.
I am a chocoholic. I keep a stash of Hershey's bars with almonds...my favorite.
There is nothing like chocolate to make a girl feel better...
Love to you, and hugs,
Miss Teresa

[Pat]

Oh, Vanessa, I am so very sorry. I do know the pain...I had my Maggie girl 16 years and she was my buddy, my companion, my funny little girl. After I retired and was with her all the time we talked, walked, played, etc. She was never ill until the end and for that I will be forever grateful. It doesn't matter how long we have them, it's never long enough. My heart goes out to you!

Thank you for sharing this personal journey with us along with the incredibly beautiful photos. Your photography is always amazing! I'm off to the shop ~ love the girls.

Sending comforting peace your way and the strength to walk this path.

xoxo
Pat

[Pat]

I forgot to say that I totally understand that your little furry boy cannot replace Baby but it does make it a bit easier. You will have him to focus on and love 'cause the animals grieve too.

xoxo
Pat

[Magickwyrds]

My sympathy, and my heart, go out to you all in this terrible, tragic time.

[Lisa]

Vanessa -
So sorry to hear the heartbreaking news. I know what it's like to lose a furry loved one - It was a sadness so deep and complete, it seemed like I could feel it on a cellular level. The pain never fully goes away, but it does ease. Fortunately all the awfulness didn't prevent me from loving deeply again. My thoughts are with you and your lovely family. Take care -