Baby of our hearts ~ Always and Forever

Our beloved furry girl has left us...

 

At home, on the little lawn, under a beautiful blue sky ~ with Mommy and Daddy curled around her, holding her, whispering to her how much we love her ~ she closed her eyes and found peace...

 

It is so incredibly difficult for me to type these words...

 

Baby stayed until our Mad Tea Party, where we took pictures and had fun.  She wanted to be here, with us, every moment, but her body couldn't fight any longer.  The details are just too heartbreaking to share.

There are no words to describe our love for her.  The beauty of her soul, and how she led us by her paw, to a place deep inside of ourselves...

 

Baby opened our hearts to a depth of love and to a connection, that only a furry loved one can take you to - if you are willing to let yourself fall...

To fall into deep love, to fall into selfless caring, to fall into silent understanding.

 

I never knew of that place, until Baby took me there.

 

She opened my eyes to furry creatures, to loving them and seeing them, in a way that I couldn't see until she showed me.

 

We met Baby at a yard sale almost 10 years ago, and I remember the day perfectly. 

"I love your dog" I said to the woman having the sale. 

"She isn't my dog, we just feed her," said the woman.

Then the woman said, you can have her if you want. 

I asked what her name was.

"Baby," responded the woman... 

So, I worked on Mister Lovee for 2 weeks (he says it was less), until he said yes.  We were not pet people then, we didn't know what we were doing.  We brought Baby home (she was about 1 year old), and she was wild, destroying so many things and digging up so much industrial irrigation, that we had to take her back.  We were sad, but at the time, we felt we had no other choice. (something that we would never do today, as evolved furry creature lovers)

2 months later, after Mister Lovee and I had gone out to dinner and to a movie, we returned home to find Baby sitting in front of our gate.  She had found us.

She stayed.

And, she never destroyed a thing again.

Mister Lovee says that Baby chose us to be her family, and she chose this place to be her home.

 

She protected me, she guarded our home, she was kind, she was gentle. 

She was an angel.

I will miss everything about her.

It was a terribly difficult weekend for us, Matty whimpered and sighed heavily, abandoning his rambunctious self for several days.  All we could get ourselves to do really was cry and sleep, and talk about how much we love Baby...

 

She was a integral part of our little family, and as far as we are concerned, will always be...

All of our tears and pain, are only because we loved her so much.  And every tear we shed, is worth having known her...

 

Mister Lovee, Baby and me - what a beautiful life we enjoyed together...

 

Of course, the journey of our little lives without Baby continues, and we have precious Matty to love.  All three of our lives will forever be touched and enhanced by the gift of love we were given, through knowing Baby.

 

Baby had a beautiful funeral, and is buried to the right of the sanctuary, under a billowing mesquite tree, not far from the great big apricot tree.

The evening she passed away, the sky gifted such beauty...

An incredible sight really...

 

In her last 6 months, she taught her little brother Matty, so many lessons.  She would stop him with her paw, from leaving the yard.  She would block him from nipping our friends.  She taught him the ins and outs of this property, and how to catch lizards.

There are such amazing endless tales.

We are all healing our hearts, and have started the healing by creating a beautiful garden around her grave.  Mister put in irrigation and we planted several plants. 

And Matty, is guarding sister's resting place...

Every evening as the sun sets, the light that shines through the tree above her grave, fills me with so much emotion...

 

Baby...

We will always love you.

 

And, somewhere in time, I know, we'll meet again...

 

 

But for now, we hold you in our hearts, with glowing ardent love.

 

And, we pray, that you are at a perpetual  pup party in the heavens...

 

♥ ,V

 

 

You've got to, laugh a little, cry a little, until the clouds roll by a little...

 

That's the story of, that's the glory of love....

 

 

ps:  Friends, I am so sorry about being absent from the Mad Tea Party.  I have received notes from folks asking me to visit them, and I just have not been able to.  I am so sorry.  I feel very guilty, being the hostess and all, but I hope you all had a wonderful time.  I used every last bit of energy I had to post the party, as I didn't want to cancel it, knowing how hard you had all worked.  I will try to visit over the next few weeks.  But for now, we are healing our hearts.  Much love, Vanessa

Comments

[Melissa]

My deepest sympathies. Nothing is harder than the passing of a loved one there are no words to make it any better. Just know she is in a better place and she was loved while she was here.

[rodica]

Vanessa, I'm crying with you for Baby... I know there are no words that could comfort you and I really don't know what to say, I'm just glad Baby had you and you had Baby in your life, and her life was beautiful and she was loved so so much by you and Mister Lovee.

Hugs from far away!

[Maryann]

Oh Vanessa, I feel every single ounce of your pain. I know what it feels like to lose your best friend, furry or otherwise. I'd like to think that Baby is frolicking somewhere in another dimension having the time of her life -- and probably feeling badly about your being so sad. Thinking of you......

[Bumpkin Bears]

Dear Vanessa, I just came across your blog and have to say how very very sorry I am for your loss. I know how much our pets are part of our families and I feel your pain. How special that Baby clearly chose you and what a wonderful loving life she had with you. Sending big hugs, Catherine x

[Christine]

Seems like the longer you have had to spend time to love them the harder it is to say goodbye..that's the weird/wonderful/maddening/heartbreaking flip side to loving someone of the human or animal kind.
Sending you and your family my condolences~

[mermaiden]

may you find much through your loss.

brightest blessings.

[Kylee]

V~

I am so sorry for your loss Vanessa!!

:(

[Denise]

They bring us such joy! We just lost a furry friend on Friday. His sister is missing him terribly and so are we.

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.
Denise

[Linda Diane]

Dear Vanessa, This makes me so sad. Your tribute to Baby is so heartfelt. It is making me cry all the more. I'm so glad you had her for 10 years so that you could share your magical existence with her and thus make it hers as well. I love the story of how you got her and how she came back to you! She must have known what a lovely existence awaited . . . . She lived a full, magnificent life, and I thank you for sharing her with us. Sending you, Mr. Lovee, and Matty gentle hugs. I am praying for your comfort.

[Dawna]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, Vanessa. My thoughts are with you and yours.

Big Hugs To You All!

Dawna

[Shelley Overholt]

I am so sorry:( Just two weeks ago we lost our dog JayCee after 10 years too. I did a nice little blog post to her too. She was one of our kids and it was the hardest thing I have gone through in a really long time. No one understands and loves you like your doggies do. I hope your Baby and my JayCee girl have met in doggie heaven:) So sorry and God Bless:) ~Shelley O.

[onceinabluemoon]

what a loving and gorgeous tribute to your baby... i know exactly how you feel, we lost our dog last year. you gave her a wonderful life, i am glad she found you to show you all about that special love and bond. thank you for sharing this personal moment, it touches my heart to know others love and care so much. the pain will soften, then you will only smile at all the good times shared, wishing the best to you and your family, she will always been in your heart~

[Linda Diane]

Dear Vanessa, I knew this post would come someday, but I didn't realize it would be so soon. I am crying over the loss of your dear Baby, and reading your tribute to her makes me cry all the more. What a wonderful life you gave her. I have no doubt that she lived the most magical life full of such love. I am so glad you were able to share such happiness with her for 10 years. What a sweet story of how you got her and how she insisted that she was to be yours! Oh how right she was! That was meant to be. : ) Thank you for sharing Baby's life with us. Sending hugs to you, Mr. Lovee, and Matty.

[Mimi and Tilly]

Vanessa and Mr Lovee, I am so sorry to hear of your loss of Baby. I have loved Baby from a distance via your blog posts about her, and I will miss her. Your love for her (and her love for you) has been something very special to share. Sending love and light, Vanessa. Em xxxx

[Maria-Thérèse]

Darling, she was so lucky to have you!
Don't worry about the party - you WERE there, you are there, you give us all this wonderful energy which is partly yours.

[RD]

Dear Vanessa and Mr. Lovee:

I am so very, very sorry for your loss. She must have known how truly beloved she was by you. We will miss her too! She was a part of your blog as well as your life, and we so enjoyed knowing her. May she rest in peace.

[Sam]

Dear Vanessa & Mr Lovee- my heart goes out to you both at this very sad time.

[Lisa Swifka]

Darling girl,The tears flow again as they did when I first heard this....what an amazing tribute to a very loved member of your family. I know this pain and those who are not pet people can't imagine it. Just know you and Mr.Lovee and Matty are in all our hearts and thoughts. I know Baby's spirit will always be there in silent protection and never ending love. You gave her a wonderful life!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

[Deana]

Vanessa, I am so sorry for your loss. My condolences to you, Mr. Lovee and Matty. You provided a wonderful life for Baby and she will forever be in your hearts. Deana

[The Princess of Hearts]

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry for your loss. It's never easy to lose family, epsecially our cuddlest members. My heart goes out to you, Mr. Lovee and Matty. May your sweet Baby rest in peace.

" Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die."
~ by Mary Elizabeth Frye

No one ever truly dies if we keep them alive in our hearts. My thoughts are with you.

[Jeanne Lobsinger]

My heart goes out to you and yours. We had a "Baby" once and the pain with losing her was/is intense. You write so beautifully about your love for her. What a lucky little Baby.

[Shay Gerritsen]

Today is our Cede's (sadie) 9th birthday. I think I'll go hug her. We got her when our oldest children were 15 months & not quite born, and our 4 year old knows no other life than one with Cede' in it. I dread the inevitable loss of her & pray that it will be many more years away. My heart hurts for you & your sweet family. Hugs & prayers from Florida.
Shay

[Miss Linda]

Sweet Vanessa Mr. Lovee and Matty. I am so very sorry to hear about Baby. I have felt that pain many times. Each different than the last. We will never forget. Baby will always be with you.
I learned many years ago that the pain of a loss doesn't get any better. It changes.
My thoughts are with you.
I dedicate the Mad Tea Party in her honor.

[Lynda]

I am so sorry to hear about baby :( She was a very sweet dog and every picture I ever saw of her made me smile. I am sure that everyone understands why you couldn't visit. Rest in peace baby dog, the blog world loves you!!

[Kim]

*sigh*

Dearest Miss. Vanessa, Mr. Lovee and Matty:

I am so deeply sorry for your loss. Truly and deeply.

My words can't change anything, but I offer them to you as a comfort...knowing how much your arty blog friends honestly care about you and love you.

I wish upon all the stars that I could offer something to help, but just know that there are so many folks that are praying for you right now.

I know this doesn't make the loss any easier, but at least Baby is no longer living in a broken world with pain and sorrow. She's free.

Love each other:
Kim
Gerushia's New World

[Fair Rosamund]

I am so very sorry for your loss Vanessa. Baby was a lovely girl and what a wonderful story about how you got her and how she came back to her home. I am sure that you will find each other again. I send my love to all of you. ~Lauren

[Juliet]

It is not that long since I lost my Furbaby I am so sorry to read that you have lost your Beautiful and loved pet too. Love and Hugs to you and Mr at this sad time :-(

[Papillon Bleu]

All the love to your home from ours Vanessa.We've been through this and we understand.

Robert and Patricia.

[m]

i can barely see to write this through the tears. i am so sorry about Baby. You are in my prayers.

[Erin Prais-Hintz]

Oh dear. I had suspected it might be something of that magnitude. Silent tears are rolling down my face. That was the most lovely post. The fact that you have so many sweet pictures of Baby is precious. We all loved her through your eyes. Know that my heart is deeply saddened by your loss. You will never forget her and that will allow her presence to live on in your lives. You are to be commended...for giving Baby the best life that any pup could have had. That makes you angels on this earth.
Know that I am thinking of you and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
Peace.
Enjoy the day.
Erin xoxooooooooooooooo

[Linda Jo]

I am soooooo sorry. I know what you are going through. We lost our beloved Charley in January.... I still hear him in the house on occasion.... It's heartbreaking. He'll always be with you.

[Deborah]

So blessed you were to have been gifted with a Once In A Lifetime Dog...the special ones who are really angels sent to teach us love. I remember those two shots from a previous post of Baby gazing across your land and sitting at the shrine and they rip my heart out even more now...she knew. She was preparing you. Sending you all my love, Deb

[Snap]

Blessing and hugs to all of you .....

With lots of love .....

[AnnaBella Gray]

Vanessa your heartache...and love for Baby...reaches out to all of us lucky enough to be touched by your magic. I know this pain all too well and it never goes away but finds a treasured little pocket in your heart as a comforting reminder of how much you loved her...and she you. Your post is beautiful and heartwrenching. I hope it's a first step towards healing and finding peace. Hugs to you and your boys.

[karin]

we will all miss Baby.
All my love to you and Mister Lovee and Matty and of course, Baby.

[Lisa WrightStuff]

Love and heartfelt blessings to the three of you. So sorry for your loss. Take care of yourselves and treasure those wonderful memories. Thanks to your wonderful writing and photography we got to share and treasure them too. Baby was clearly loved by all those lucky enough to meet her and the rest of us who followed her adventures as we do yours.
With love xxx

[Little Lovables]

I'm so sorry about Baby! What a lovely tribute to her tender spirit, so sweet of Matty to guard her resting place.

[Laume]

I just cried through the whole post, hard to read it through my soggy eyes. But I also feel my heart gladden and fill with joy knowing how much love she brought into your lives, and you brought to hers. Families like that are worth every precious tear.

[Cassandra]

Such a lovely tribute indeed. Peaceful wishes to you, Miss V.

[Rhonda Roo]

"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened. "
(Anatole France)

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
(Roger Caras)

nothing but love for all of you, & Baby too, who will always be there, in your heart, and at the sanctuary, loving you from beyond.

♥XO♥XO♥XO♥XO♥

[sadira]

My heart aches along with you right now, and I only had the joy of knowing Baby in your pages in this space...I know when I lost my Sweetie Boy I used to see him running around visiting me all the time, until I told his little furry ghost-kitty body that I was OK and to enjoy himself for a little while, and he could always come back to the space that I hold for him in my heart...and he does. We see each other in dreams and out of the corner of my eyes. I am so happy that you were able to know the depth of fur-baby love and that Baby chose you as her family...she will be very missed, by everyone's hearts she's touched in her beautiful life. <3

[Jennifer]

I just found your blog a couple days ago and love it.
So very sorry to hear about your beloved dog passing. And yes, our sweet God loves our pets too....so Baby I believe Baby is in Heaven having a WONDERFUL time with all the other heavenly pets!!
Cry and mourn, that's natural, but know she's happy and waiting to see you.

[Tara Bradford]

Oh dearest V - So, so sorry about precious Baby! You and Mr. L. gave her a beautiful life. Sending hugs and much love to you both. xoxox

[Amy]

I'm so sorry for the loss of Baby. Your hearts are heavy, and that is okay. It is a sad thing, to wait to be reunited someday to our loved ones. Prayers for your hearts to not hurt so deeply, as time goes on. -Amy

[Tiffany Singleton]

Vanessa, I'm so sorry to hear about Baby. I don't have any pets, but I feel like I do through your beautiful posts about Baby & Matty...You are in my thoughts. God Bless. xo

[Dawn]

Dear Vanessa, I know so many others have already said the same thing, but I feel like I have to post anyway. My heart goes out to you, Mr. Lovee and Matty. I know the joy and sadness of loving and being loved by furry children. Though this time is so hard, it is worth the pain. You have wonderful memories and a zillion pictures. She isn't really gone. She will always be with you. It will get easier and then there will be moments when it all comes back and the tears start allover again out of the blue. I try and enjoy those moments remembering my furry friends. Ok, I should stop, I'm crying for you and I'm not very eloquent. Hugs
Dawn

[Sarah]

Dear Vanessa,
I have cried for you and your family and your loss. I am so so sorry and feel for you. Baby is so beautiful and it is so lovely the story of how you got her and she found and chose you too.
Thinking of you.
Take care.
Sarah xx

[kj]

Vanessa

how well I understand.

"look in the eyes of any dog and you will see me"

that's what my Rosie told mr just hours before she had to leave

I am so sorry. I am sure she will wait for you. I heard that on NPR: people who 'died' and were revived said at the end of the tunnel of light their animals were wAiting

I am asking my Rosie to show your baby around

you know how to love deeply, Vanessa, all three of you. Let the love remind you of how blessed and lucky baby and her forever family will always be

love always
kj

[Lavender Dreams]

I am so sorry, Vanessa. I hope you know how sad we are at your loss. Take your time visiting the blogs...we understand. Hugs to you, dear friend! ♥

[Teresa in California]

Dearest Miss Vanessa, Mister Lovee, and Matty,
I realize that no words can express the loss that you are feeling right now. Baby's beautiful personality always shined through in all of the lovely photographs you posted of her. She will be deeply missed by all.
May you find comfort in the sweet memories that you cherish of her as I am sure there are many.
Hugs and prayers to wipe your tears.
Miss Teresa