Baby of our hearts ~ Always and Forever

Our beloved furry girl has left us...

 

At home, on the little lawn, under a beautiful blue sky ~ with Mommy and Daddy curled around her, holding her, whispering to her how much we love her ~ she closed her eyes and found peace...

 

It is so incredibly difficult for me to type these words...

 

Baby stayed until our Mad Tea Party, where we took pictures and had fun.  She wanted to be here, with us, every moment, but her body couldn't fight any longer.  The details are just too heartbreaking to share.

There are no words to describe our love for her.  The beauty of her soul, and how she led us by her paw, to a place deep inside of ourselves...

 

Baby opened our hearts to a depth of love and to a connection, that only a furry loved one can take you to - if you are willing to let yourself fall...

To fall into deep love, to fall into selfless caring, to fall into silent understanding.

 

I never knew of that place, until Baby took me there.

 

She opened my eyes to furry creatures, to loving them and seeing them, in a way that I couldn't see until she showed me.

 

We met Baby at a yard sale almost 10 years ago, and I remember the day perfectly. 

"I love your dog" I said to the woman having the sale. 

"She isn't my dog, we just feed her," said the woman.

Then the woman said, you can have her if you want. 

I asked what her name was.

"Baby," responded the woman... 

So, I worked on Mister Lovee for 2 weeks (he says it was less), until he said yes.  We were not pet people then, we didn't know what we were doing.  We brought Baby home (she was about 1 year old), and she was wild, destroying so many things and digging up so much industrial irrigation, that we had to take her back.  We were sad, but at the time, we felt we had no other choice. (something that we would never do today, as evolved furry creature lovers)

2 months later, after Mister Lovee and I had gone out to dinner and to a movie, we returned home to find Baby sitting in front of our gate.  She had found us.

She stayed.

And, she never destroyed a thing again.

Mister Lovee says that Baby chose us to be her family, and she chose this place to be her home.

 

She protected me, she guarded our home, she was kind, she was gentle. 

She was an angel.

I will miss everything about her.

It was a terribly difficult weekend for us, Matty whimpered and sighed heavily, abandoning his rambunctious self for several days.  All we could get ourselves to do really was cry and sleep, and talk about how much we love Baby...

 

She was a integral part of our little family, and as far as we are concerned, will always be...

All of our tears and pain, are only because we loved her so much.  And every tear we shed, is worth having known her...

 

Mister Lovee, Baby and me - what a beautiful life we enjoyed together...

 

Of course, the journey of our little lives without Baby continues, and we have precious Matty to love.  All three of our lives will forever be touched and enhanced by the gift of love we were given, through knowing Baby.

 

Baby had a beautiful funeral, and is buried to the right of the sanctuary, under a billowing mesquite tree, not far from the great big apricot tree.

The evening she passed away, the sky gifted such beauty...

An incredible sight really...

 

In her last 6 months, she taught her little brother Matty, so many lessons.  She would stop him with her paw, from leaving the yard.  She would block him from nipping our friends.  She taught him the ins and outs of this property, and how to catch lizards.

There are such amazing endless tales.

We are all healing our hearts, and have started the healing by creating a beautiful garden around her grave.  Mister put in irrigation and we planted several plants. 

And Matty, is guarding sister's resting place...

Every evening as the sun sets, the light that shines through the tree above her grave, fills me with so much emotion...

 

Baby...

We will always love you.

 

And, somewhere in time, I know, we'll meet again...

 

 

But for now, we hold you in our hearts, with glowing ardent love.

 

And, we pray, that you are at a perpetual  pup party in the heavens...

 

♥ ,V

 

 

You've got to, laugh a little, cry a little, until the clouds roll by a little...

 

That's the story of, that's the glory of love....

 

 

ps:  Friends, I am so sorry about being absent from the Mad Tea Party.  I have received notes from folks asking me to visit them, and I just have not been able to.  I am so sorry.  I feel very guilty, being the hostess and all, but I hope you all had a wonderful time.  I used every last bit of energy I had to post the party, as I didn't want to cancel it, knowing how hard you had all worked.  I will try to visit over the next few weeks.  But for now, we are healing our hearts.  Much love, Vanessa

Comments

[ravenmoonmagic]

Dearest Vanessa
dont you ever feel guilty, we live in two worlds here, the virtual world and our real world and the real worlds are always going to come first. thank you so much for putting on your party, it was a huge effort we so all appreciate from you. and so much love and warmth to you, Lovee and Matty.
You have so many wonderful messages here, and thats because you still give us something so beautiful to come to, even in grief.
Dont worry about visiting parties, they can wait, and just like the white rabbit, it would be far more traditional for you to be late

So sorry for your sad loss, we will be thinking of you all, and I will halt all doggie growlings today in memory of Baby

xxx
Sheree and India and our Pipi

[karen]

So so sorry to hear about your beautiful Baby. The hardest part of having pets, is when we lose them. I'm sure she will be watching you though and you will feel her spirit in those beautiful skies, on the wind and amid the twinkling stars.

Much love
Karen x

[Charlotte]

I am so sad for you and Mr. Lovee, and Mattie. I, too, have lost precious ones, and it is always heartbreaking. Yes, she will remain in your heart and remembrences forever and ever more. Thank you for sharing which helps us keep in touch with what is real and important.

[Susanna]

Vanessa.....are you sure Baby is not there anymore? Listen...look better...search...Baby is everywhere she used to be , she left thousands sign of her presence ...years of unforgettable moments....yesterday I saw a movie called: Me and Marley, and suddenly thought about that moment...well I'm not sure I'll be able to write and publish images with the same love and deep feelings you did....she has a wonderful friend and sister :YOU!!!!!

[devil mood]

Vanessa, I know what it's like.
Many many hugs.
She had the happiest life she could ever imagine. :)

[Moonfairy]

I`m so sorry about your loss Vanessa. I know how much a dog (or any animal) can mean to someone, and it`s heartbreaking to know that you and your family are feeling this loss now. Baby was truly an amazing dog, with a great personality.
Cherish all the wonderful memories that you have together, and give yourself time to heal.

I lost my wonderful dog 15 years ago, and I still cry sometimes because I miss him so much. He has a huge place in my heart, and in difficult times he appears in my dreams and makes everything better.

I`m sure Baby will look after her little family from above. Remember she`s still with you no matter what.

Many hugs and healing thoughts from me to you.

[Nicki]

Oh, I'm busy brushing away tears to type. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know EXACTLY how you feel. I just lost my cat - my own baby - a month and a half ago. I miss him dreadfully. Every day. He was the one to curl up in my lap, the one I never meant to adopt, but he saw me coming to pick up his brother to take home and while we tried to fish the other cat out from beneath a piece of furniture I noticed this other kitten standing on his hind legs batting at me trying to get my attention. He wanted to go home with me, too! I never though my parents would let me take home two, but my mom saw he was special, too and so I took him home as well and he turned out to be my Best Friend, he followed me everywhere and I miss him so much. It's amazing how animals can touch your heart so deeply. He's buried in our back yard near the cherry tree. I wish he was still by my side like his brother is right now. Soon I'll have to say goodbye to him as well, I know.

Don't apologize for not being in the mood for a party. I've been depressed for over a month now, but I can tell you, it does get a *little* easier as time goes by.

Rest in Peace, Baby.

Nicki

[Nancy Ellis]

Sweetie, I love you!

[Lesley Walker]

Your sorrow touches me deeply. Ilit a candle for the passing on Saturday. I used to breed cats, and I've gone through the same emotions myself. If it's any consolation just recently I've been having the same dream over and over. I go to the bottom of my garden, and call my kitties, and they run to me, and I feed them all. They're all there. In my Belief, every soul goes to the Summerlands, waiting to be reborn. I believe with all my heart that the Summerlands must be very like your garden, so Baby will be at home. As long as you remember her, she will not die. Blessings dear friend.

[Meghann]

Oh Vanessa, I am so sorry. Pets are our children, we love them, they love us, and our lives are in symbioses with each other. When they leave, everything seems out of balance.
When I lost my beloved Gandalf 2 years ago, someone sent me this poem:
Four Feet in Heaven
Your favorite chair is vacant now...
No eager barks to greet me.
No softly padded paws to run
Ecstatically to meet me.
No coaxing rubs, no plaintive cry
Will say it's time for feeding.
I've put away your bowl, and all
The things you won't be needing;
But I will miss you little friend,
For I could never measure
The happiness you brought me,
The comfort and the pleasure.
And since God put you here to share
In earthly joy and sorrow;
I'm sure there'll be a place for you
In Heaven's bright tomorrow...- Alice E. Chase

I send you hugs at this very hard time.

[Krista Komis]

I am so, so deeply sorry. I know she will forever be in your heart...

-Krista

[Rebecca is Thrilled by the Thought]

So so sorry. She looks exactly like my Heidi from my childhood. I was devastated when Heidi passed away. I know it's so hard.

[Tina Gates]

Darling, I am so sorry for your loss. This post was a beautiful tribute to a wonderful friend. There is a beautiful book I bought myself when my Bobby went over the Rainbow Bridge - it is called 'Guardians of Being'...words by Eckhart Tolle and art by Patrick McDonnell - I found it very spiritually comforting. My heart goes out to you, Lovee and Matty at this time x

[Beth Wilson]

My heart is with you.
And you will always be in Baby's heart as she is in yours. You were both so very blessed.
Hugs and Love,
Beth in Va

[Holly]

Dear Vanessa,
I'm so very sorry for your great loss. Your Baby was a treasure. She was so lucky to have you in her life and as her devoted caretaker. I'm especially sensitive to this right now as I watch my beloved Albie begin to deteriorate at almost age 17. I've only had him in my life for almost six years and I'm praying for more time. But I know he'll let me know when he is ready. I lost my other beloved girl dog whom I'd had for almost 16 years a few years ago so I will not have another dog to cling to when Albie goes. I am so happy that you have Matty. I know it helps tremendously.

Thank you for such a heartfelt post. It gives me strength.

All my very best,
Holly

[Kitty Kellie]

Vanessa, my dear

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I too am crying with you. I lost my beloved feline companion of nearly 17 years almost 3 weeks ago. My heart will miss her forever.

Memories grow where footsteps leave the earth. I share in your sorrow.

Big Hugs! =D
~Kellie

[Elizabeth]

So many of us are so grateful to you for your inspiration and for bringing us all together here in this world.
The darling face that greated us on your blog will be missed by all of us. (those dazzling eyes)
You and Mister must have enormous hearts to have been loved by her. Anyway...so sorry...

[Tami]

So, so sorry to hear about Baby.... She is in heaven and not feeling any pain, now. She was such a lucky dog, to have such wonderful owners who loved her so much. xxxooo

[Kathy]

"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”

A quote from Kahlil Gibran. She was your delight. You will hear her feet and her breathing some days. She will always be near, just in a different form. Love is eternal. Take care dear Vanessa and hugs to all of you.

Kathy

[TinaR]

My deepest and sincerest condolences on the earthly loss of the furbaby of your heart.

Her love is always around you, enabling you to reach out and love any and all around you.
Her love is pouring down upon you and yours much like the coming Monsoon rain will pour down on her special garden.

I'm so sorry for your loss and Heaven's gain. Also glad to see that we agree that you will see her again. I'm sure that my cat's are part of her welcoming committee at the Rainbow Bridge.

[Trish]

Thinking of you.

[Melanie]

Dear, dear Vanessa, Mr Lovee and Matty, I was so sad to hear about precious baby and I send my love and wishes to you and to baby's beautiful soul. May her journey be sweet and beautiful.
Thank you for sharing her with us.
I will now go and cuddle my Galibeast and be grateful for each day with him.

[Marilyn]

I am so sad for you as I read this. Baby was indeed a blessing and will remain in your heart. I am so happy she is buried nearby. I have a burial ground nearby for dear departed pets and it brings me such comfort. I sit her with a new big guy cat on my lap and he is saying "why are you crying". Time will heal and Baby did open your hearts.

[Andrea at Opulent Cottage]

Sweet Vanessa, I am so sorry for your loss. Someday your heart will not ache so badly, and your memories will be sweeter then. Think of that when you are so sad. Thank you for sharing your darling Baby, and yourselves, with us. She was special, and you are, too!!
Love, Andrea

[two crazy crafters]

Oh Vanessa, I couldn't help but cry as I read this post. I didn't want to hear it, I knew how much your heart would ache. No words are sufficient at times like these so I'll just pray for you and Mr. Lovee to not ache so much. I've been through it and my children and I stayed up with our beloved Buffy night and day for almost a week before he passed. We didn't want to miss one moment while he was alive. I'm so sorry you had to face this and please don't worry about the tea party. We understand. Twyla

[Kathryn]

This post had me in tears. It's so hard losing a furry friend, especially as they become such a big part of the family. Big hug.

[Laura]

I am so sorry that Baby had to leave you. My heart goes out to you, Mister Lovee and Matty.
blessings
~*~

[Karol]

To my friends via the web,

I too am wiping the tears away as I know the pain you are living with. You were so blessed to have Baby in your life and Baby was equally as blessed to have you both in her life. Our furry kids bring so much joy to our lives, but it is so devastating to have to say goodbye to them.

Hugs to you both,

Zoe

[Jane]

I am so deeply sorry to read your news today; truly Baby will live on in your hearts and in those of her many fans. She truly found her soul mates with your family and I know that you were all greatly enriched by the experience. Sincerest hugs, Jane

[Penny Patten]

So very sorry to hear about baby, hugs, Penny

[karen cox]

Vanessa,
I am so sorry. I know that pain. My little twinkles who I got in Hong Kong was my little soul mate. She moved with us to Canada, lived there for five years, but when we returned to America, she passed away shortly before we moved into our new home.

A soul mate...When I was a little girl I was crippled and I had something called Kohler's Disease, a bone disorder. When the vet showed me the ex-ray of Twinkles leg, the film showed the bone disorder. The vet said she only had a short time left with us before the bone would totally disconnect and cause severe nerve damage. I stood looking at the ex-ray and thought that she truly was my soul mate.

Grief is a terrible thing, and the only thing that repairs it is time. One day when I was so sad that I thought my eyes couldn't handle another tear, I had an image. The image was the Lord holding my Twinkles in His arms. From that moment on I knew that Twinkles was in heaven whole, romping around, and I would see her again.

Most recently our horse Dapper passed away. My daughter was in so much grief, we all were. Then a close friend of mine lost her daughter to cancer. She told me that before her daughter passed she said that she had dreamt she was in heaven and a white horse came to greet her.

Life is filled with so many reminders how incredibly protected we are every day and that God winks and reminds us how much He loves us. I know that Mr. Lovee tells you these things. He is very wise.

Vanessa, you will see Baby again, but now Baby is whole and just like the puppy she once was. Perhaps she is romping around with my Dapper and Twinkles.

You and Mr. Lovee are in my prayers.

Karen

[Rebecca Lichtman]

I am so very sorry about the loss of Baby.
It's so heartbreaking to lose a fur baby.
My heart is with you. It's hard to be strong when you lose that unconditional love but happy memories will keep your heart full.
Hugs,
Becca

[LIsa Hodge]

Vanessa,
I am so, so sorry to hear of your loss. I have became the mommy to 2 fur babies in the last 3 months. And the strange thing is, is that I have NEVER been a dog lover before! Now, I can't EVER think of my life with out Gracie or Bella. I love them so much- hard to believe that a LOVE can be so strong for an animal- But it can. So I know what you must be going through and I will keep you in my thoughts. Stay strong and remember the good times. Take care.
Lisa

[Lynn]

My heart goes out to you sweet Vanessa.
What a blessed life Baby had to spend it with you, Mister Lovee and Matty.

[Kaerie Faerie]

so sorry for the loss of your furry Baby
all memories of her will be in your dreams forever
Karey

[vivian]

aww, Vanessa, I'm so sorry. I know that precious love.. and I know that painful loss.. I'm always so thankful to God just for creating animals and allowing them to love us like they do! hope your hearts heal soon.
HUGS
vivian

[Chrissi]

Tears are just pouring out of my eyes, my heart breaks for you and I am so very sad and sorry... I know that depth of love for a fur baby and there is nothing to compare, they are little angels with the purest of hearts... I know you will see her again someday and she will try to curl up her big golden self on your little flannel and lace covered lap and you'll have her forever... Sending you love and prayers for healing... Chrissi

[Laura S.]

My heart breaks for you. I know too well the sadness and pain you feel. If only they could live forever. The Rainbow Bridge is a brighter place, and one day you'll be together again. Rest in peace, sweet Baby.

[Tracie Hanson]

It surprised me how upset I became to hear of the loss of your Baby....I guess it's because of how much I love dogs and know how much they add to our lives. I've lost a few precious dogs through the years, so can imagine how sad you are to lose such a precious angel. Thank you for sharing Baby with us all. She is so very sweet.

My heart goes out to you and your's....sending many hugs and much love your way.

Tracie

[Vania Cruz-Perez]

Dear Vanessa, please accept my deepest symphathy on the loss of your precious Baby. I know how hard it must be for you, Mr. Lovee and Matty. After sharing so much with her for a decade, life must be difficult to bare.
I'm sending you tons of love and hugs your way and know that you are in my prayers.

Hugsss....

Vania

[Sylvia Smiser]

Vanessa,
Your Baby looks so much like our Oso. I bawled my eyes out reading your memorial! It was beautiful and so very touching. I'd like to think that one day we will all be reunited with the loved ones that have gone before us.
My heart goes out to you and your family. I will be praying for you to have strength, peace, and many happy memories.
Warm Hugs,
Sylvia

[Celia]

Ms. Vanessa.....I am so very very sorry for your loss. I just lost both of my doggies a few months ago.....1 week apart....both of them had very long full lives....and I believe Dusty died from a broken heart. They are both over the Rainbow Bridge.....I believe playing with your Baby....waiting to see us again. My heart is heavy for your loss....oh how I understand your pain.

[Allie]

Vanessa, Mister Lovee, and Matty ~

My heart has felt that very pain that you are experiencing 5 times through out my life. It's not easy and it's very raw for a while. Let the memories flow and help heal the pain. Here's a little quote that I keep close to me for times like this. I hope it brings you some peace.

"Perhaps they are not stars but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy."
~Eskimo Legend

Wishing you many starry nights,
~Allie

[Jenn Erickson/Rook No. 17]

What a beautiful tribute! Indeed, Baby is enjoying that big puppy party in the sky. Our pup, Spencer, hitched a ride up that way back in January. I imagine he's enjoying the all-you-can-chew rawhide buffet and is chasing squirrels in his free time.

You don't need to be apologize for being absent from the Tea Party. Family First!

You created a wonderful, magical, and exquisite creative springboard for so many people. Quite a gift! Thank you.

[BunnyKissd]

It is always incredibly sad when a loved one passes, even more so I think when one who loves *us* back so completely and unconditionally. {{{{HUGS}}}} Baby has crossed the Rainbow Bridge and will be waiting for you there...

[Janel]

Mister and Miss V,

I am so sorry you had to say goodbye to your Baby...I do know what that feels like as I have experienced the same. There are no words, but the memories last a lifetime. I too, evolved as a furry parent because of my beloved dog Lily, and I got to be with her at home too. Your hearts will heal, but they will never be the same. and that is ok. you wouldn't have it any other way.

sending lots of hugs, lots......

Matty will make you laugh in the midst of your tears, which will just help the healing process along.

[Cameron Reutzel]

...my eyes are ablur with tears at the beauty of your words...of a life celebrated, remembered and cherished...of love that runs true and deep....of life's lessons and loss...

I am so sorry you had to write them...

I'm holding your close in my thoughts...

Cameron

[Celina Matthews]

Vaneesa, you have my deepest sympathies. I will send my best wishes for your family to heal quickly.

[Danielle Suplicki]

I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved family member. It's never easy to say goodbye, but I just know somewhere over that rainbow Baby will be waiting to greet you and teach you all new things.

This was a touching and beautiful tribute, the love of your family shines through this darkness like the sun. I cried reading this. I will keep you all in my thoughts.

[Lisa]

My heart goes out to all who knew and loved Baby. I know first-hand how absolutely painful and soul changing it is to lose a furry loved one. Wishing you strength to heal...