Don't you love late summer thoughts? They waft in, they waft out. Intense at once, and then fading so quickly, convincing us they had never been. A menagerie of feelings fluttering about.
Thoughts right now...
I feel a longing, but I don’t know for what?
I feel excitement, but I don’t know about what?
For a mere moment, I feel concerned, but I have nothing to feel concerned about.
It feels silent.
What is to come?
It feels like there is a change on the horizon. But I haven’t a clue what could change?
Everything changes from moment to moment I suppose…
Ever changing time.
I see a few tiny grey strands in my hair for the first time, sneaking in, getting cozy, like they want to stay. And I like them.
I am not afraid to grow old.
I find a peace in aging. I am beginning to look less 25 in the mirror, and I don’t care. After-all it was a decade ago. For me, it's easier to let go, than to hold on. But inside, inside I feel young as ever.
I find a calm in throwing my hands up in the air.
I have made pacts with myself, about trying not to lose myself, and I have made myself a map, as to how to get back if I do happen to lose myself a bit. Do you do that?
I have a huge desire to please. Only this time, for once in my life, it is to please myself.
My perceptions are changing. Sometimes I wish the girl in me now, could have stood up for the teenage me.
Alas, the old adage comes to mind, if I only knew then what I know now.
Then again, the past is history, no point in even losing one inch of thought on what could have been. It’s over, there is nothing we can do. Nada. Zip. Zilch.
So, we let go.
I have enjoyed my youth until bursting.
And will continue to do so.
I look upon my twenties with great fondness, even the angst ridden introspective times seem vastly beautiful from this vantage point.
I have so many friends that are much older than me, that I have learned so much from. The greatest thing I have learned is that life is long, and we are not old, at the ages we think we are. Whoever decided what age is young and what is old, was cuckoo in the head. Life is long, and age is but a number. You can be youthful, for as long as you want. You do have a choice in the matter. Only the added bonus is that, now you have wisdom too. What a gift! No one ever mentions that, do they? So silly.
The world may seem scary and sinister sometimes, but there is so much goodness and beauty too. I turn my face away to the yucky stuff, and work at living the best life I can live. And I believe that somehow, if I hold on to a thread of hope, everything will work out.
I have all these thoughts in my head, and yet, nothing is going on in my life that should cause such thoughts.
Just the long hot summer sneaking in, having a date with my brain...
I pick up feelings from people around me. I have always been like that. I can feel other people’s feelings at the drop of a hat.
I have all these feelings dancing around me today.
Are they yours?
Are they mine?
Are they feelings searching for a home? Dancing through clouds?
Am I just having a reaction to shellfish?
So many thoughts.
Right now I think I need one bite of coconut cake.
That is a good thought.
I loved your sharing of tales in the last post.
It was so exciting for me, to get to hear your snippets.
Just loooved the sharing.
Thank you for that.
(Tori Amos, Thoughts. Early B-sides)
I think we should do that more often.