My Cup Runneth Over...

There is this raw place that lives inside of us, where when bad things happen in our lives, we wonder if the good will ever come again.  It is a place where you wish and long and pray for the good to find you again.  I felt that way when Mister Lovee had his horrible car accident a few years ago, and I felt that way when Baby died.

I longed for that fulfilled heart love feeling.

The feeling that everything is good, and everything is okay.

I was thinking about that last night, whilst in my bed with the boys...

If I try to grasp at memories of how I see snippets of things happening in my life - some of them sort of look like this...

When Baby was alive, and it was her and Mister Lovee and me, everything felt perfect for about 8 years.  So many lovely memories made.

Then we got Matty, and it was fun having a boy puppy in our lives.

It was bliss.

Baby and him played and bonded for 8 months.

Then Baby got sick.

The first time I saw her nose bleeding I knew it was bad.

I fell to my knees and sobbed with pains in my heart I never knew could exist.

The day we lost her was the saddest day of my life to date.

After she died, she was so beautiful.

She looked like she was simply sleeping.

I hugged her in the garden until Mister Lovee said it was time.

The sunset was unreal that day. 

Pink and violet.

We had a beautiful funeral procession.

Then, the pain and agony of loss sets in.

You wake up the morning after.

For about 20 seconds you are groggy.

Then you remember that you are beyond sad, and that there has been a great loss.

And you sob.

Your heart literally aches and hurts and throbs with pain.

It takes ages for the pain to subside even a little.

Over time, your heavy heart starts telling you that maybe you should allow new life in.

(oops, I can see I am veering big time from what I had intended to say today)

I cried for Baby everyday for about 6 months.

(I still cry for her from time to time)

Matty and I bonded extra much during that time.

Then, as you know, we adopted our Golden Retriever, Miles.

That was one year and one month ago (plus a few days).

He was 5 weeks old.

Matty accepted him right away.

And, we began a new journey.

Big happy sigh.

He has given us more than we could have ever hoped for.

Ever.

Each one of us, Lovee, Matty and me are so grateful for Miles.

And so....

Last night, with Miles in my bed recovering (tale to come), I felt so beyond thankful.

Because, I fully realize that, we have been given another chance (Mister and I) to feel like life is grand, with the love of our two pups.

Just the way we felt when it was him and Baby and me.

Now it is...

Different.

But, wonderful too.

Good and happy and fulfilled in the heart again.

Isn't it amazing?

That you can have that chance again?

Animals give you so much more than you could ever ask for.

Life can feel super skip to my Lou again.

And it does!

Sooooooooooooo.....

The tale I have to tell (of how I even got into all these thoughts) goes like this.

Our friend across the street, a rottweiler named Harley, came into our yard while I was checking my mail yesterday afternoon.  He had kicked Matty's tooshie a few weeks ago, and went after him again yesterday.

But then, Miles (who visits Harley and is friends with him) stepped in.

Poor Miles, he got his tooshie more than kicked by Harley.

He is fine, just some cuts here and there, mostly behind and inside his right ear.

But the brawl was scary awful.

My mind was going crazy, I thought, Harley is going to kill Miles.

We finally got Harley off of Miles, after several minutes.

And Miles, looking all battered and slimy and muddy runs outside of our gate to Harley, who is being taken away by his Mama.

Miles then proceeds to lick Harley's face, and whimper at him, like asking "Why did you beat me up?  I am your friend...."

(by the way, if you want to make cloud print towels, take some teal or light blue towels and pop them in the washer with bleach and hot water.  I made 4 cloud print towels that way)

Miles was totally fine except for some cuts here and there.

But he was shaken, so we jumped into the warm shower, and then dried him off and gave him a cool blow dry.

It was 6:30 p.m. when we were done, and Miles jumped onto my bed, all clean and dry and fluffy and oh so soft.  Indescribably soft he is.

I belly rubbed him, and he was feeling like he wanted lots of Mama love.

Lovee got home and we told him the story.

Then all 3 boys and me cuddled.

Miles then rolled on his back, his usual position, and made that face that I never manage to get on film, until last night...

Sleeping, teeth showing, on his back.

His every night position since he was a baby...

He would twitch and cry in his sleep.

And I wondered, do dogs dream?

Either way, I hugged him and told him he was safe.

Every so often while sleeping, he holds his arm in the air for about 30 minutes...

I let him have almost the entire bed last night.

He slept from 6:30 p.m. until 7:30 a.m. the next morning, without stirring.

Just snoring on his back, cozy and safe.

He normally only visits my bed at night, but this time, he stayed put.

And of course, I had Matty tucked into my right side, as always.

My little warrior.

He is outside barking at everyone on the street while I am typing.

He feels it is his job :)

Anyhow----

I guess my point is that -

Last night, quiet and cozy with the pups made me realize that, I have been given a second chance to love again, and feel fulfilled again with my two boys.

And, I also realize that, if I ever lose them (can't imagine that), I now know that there is more fur love to be found when the heart is open and ready.

Different.

But wonderful too.

That is the amazing thing.

So many cats and pups and all sorts of creatures out there, wanting to be loved and love back.

So much love.

The best love I have ever known.

This morning Miles was back to his tough and stoic self...

He ran out for the paper, down the driveway and back, as fast as he could.  Adding that memory to our lives. 

One day we will say, "we once had a dog that would get the paper every morning without fail..."

I thought to myself, how after Baby died, I wished with all my soul, that I could have just 5 more minutes with her.

So, I took that as a lesson.

I got on my knees and hugged my boys until they squirmed away.

Then I captured them and hugged them some more.

(Even though I hug them 5,000 times a day)

I thought....

These are those five minutes I will long for one day.

And, I am not taking them for granted.

And so, I devoured those 5 minutes.

With thoughts of luck and love.

Oh, the grand abundance of furry love...

 

Love, Vanessa

 

(Matty is standing on my left side, licking my cheek, telling me it is time to go)

Wow, that was a wordy post.

:)

 

 

ps:  I have also been thinking about a lot of these things because, my neighbor down the street's beloved long time companion (a German Shepherd girl) died last week.  I wrote her a card with Baby's face on it - and because of you all, I sent her the Ranbow Bridge poem, which brought her to tears.

I don't think I ever said thank you to those of you who shared the Rainbow Bridge story with me.  Thank you so so much.  I think about it all the time...

 

pss:  This is one of those posts where I think, "should I just delete this whole thing?"  what babble :)

 

psss:  I just HAVE to end this post with snoopy ;)

I sat and watched this and just laughed and smiled and laughed! 

 

pssss:  Flask back memory -

When we were little, and my (our) dad would be looking for my sister, he would call out Peppermint Lou Lou, where is youuuuu???  Which of course wasn't a proper peanuts girl name.  I love that memory!  I can see him now going down the very long hallway calling out  Peppermint Louuu Louuuu...

Comments

[Theresa]

Oh Vanessa! This post brought me to tears. I understand how you felt and still do. Animals are so special - they are not merely a "pet" - they are part of the family. My furries are my children. And I love, love, love them. My eldest has been so sick recently, so I cherish every day with her now. How frightened you must have been with Miles' scuffle. My sweet Willow had that happen once, and I ended up getting bit by the other dog trying to save her. Oh how it hurt. But I cared about my dog's safety - she had a small bite under her eye, which healed completely. Still, you just want to keep your children safe from harm. So, I took the brunt of the attack. I just LOVE the photo of Miles sleeping. So so so precious - you must truly frame it. I'm glad you didn't delete this post because it was as if I had written it myself. So sorry to hear about your friend's dog - I hope the Rainbow Bridge brought her some comfort. Thank you for sharing Snoopy - I love him so. Have a beautiful weekend with your boys! xoxo

[Jenn]

I am so glad you did not delete the whole post, and decided to share it with us all after all.

I know very much how it is to lose a fur child. My beloved beagle, Patches, got cancer a few years ago and passed away. He was the saddest creature at the end, and a once hyper, joy filled and chubby dog was now skinny and not eating, not wanted to move or go outside, and the only thing he seemed to not care whether he had the energy or not to do was kiss us. Aww... I get tearful just thinking about it.

I don't think I know anyone who appreciates what they have, and those in their life as you do. Unfortunately it takes bad stuff to bring us to that place of happiness, and appreciation sometimes.

Poor Miles, being attacked by his friend. I do hope there's no animosity between Harley's momma and you now. Dogs are amazing. They're the only creature who loves you more than it loves itself. Miles and Matty are beautiful babies, and I agree, you are very blessed to have them, as I am blessed to have the animals that I have in my life right now too.

Hope the puppy fighting has calmed for A LONG time, and that you have a beautiful weekend with your family (both human and fur)

Lots of love,
Jenn

[A Fanciful Twist]

Oh Miss Theresa,

I hope your baby feels better, sniffle sniffle!!!

I cant believe you got bit during a brawl. Harley is so big and so
tough - I kept remembering that my dad said not to get in the middle or you will
get hurt, when dogs are fighting.

I kept bonking Harley on his back side :)

He is well over 100 lbs, easily. So scary!! But all is well,
thank heavens.

Oh yes, she loooooved the Rainbow Bridge, she just loved it. You and
I are such kindred puppy mamas xoxo!!

[A Fanciful Twist]

Sweet Jenn, my neighbor and I are totally fine. Thank goodness
:) She apologized, but I told her not to worry, these things happen.
Dogs will be dogs. Harley adores me, and he doesnt like that I have dogs
of my own ;) I think that is the problem. He is a very very
possessive chap. I just will make sure not to bring my boys around him
just to be safe. Jenn you are such a sweet girl!! SO sorry about
your patches... sniffle..

[Queenie Believe]

Pass the Kleenex please... (heavy warm sigh)
Yes there is something extra special about the unconditional furry love of the canine variety. Honey Man and I would be so sad with out our amazing and beloved Delicious, Minnie and Callie.
Lap up all the furry love you can for they are truly gifts from love.
Have a great day.
Always, Queenie

[Lisa swifka]

The gift your furry children give you everyday is equalled by the gift you give them. I have no doubt Miles WAS dreaming...dreaming of how happy he is he has parents like you and Mr. Lovee to protect and csre for him. Your mutual exchange of love is beautiful! I am so glad both boys are ok.
XOXO

[Riss]

Aww I read this beautiful post through blurred eyes! I miss all my animal loves that have come into my life and left their paw print on my heart, memories last forever and we must cherish them. I'm so glad that your babies are safe and well, it must have been terrifying! Enjoy every moment and savour the memories, big loves from The Garden xx

[lisa skiles]

The laying on the back with teeth showing just melted me completely.
Lisa

[Jessica]

Vanessa, I loved this post because it reminded me to just love my kitties all the time, every day, while I have the chance. I am glad that after those dark days after Baby's passing, you were able to find the light and joy of life again. I hope that your days are filled with love and happiness! (I know they will be :)

xoxo Jess

[Kim / Gerushia's New World]

Thank you so much for this post, Vanessa. Truthfully, it was hard to read, but I am glad I did.

2011 brought the loss of our beloved Labrador of 14 years and our persnickety but loved old cat of 13 years. We lost them 6 months apart. No time to heal between.

We still have our silly, miniature schnauzer, Junior, and I hug him and spoil him everyday. He is my 5 minutes everyday.

xoxo
Kim
Gerushia's New World

[Kelly]

Omgosh Vanessa, I too have my tears welling! I'm feeling so emotional along with you and other readers, Kindred Spirits, knowing all to well the pangs of passed and present and how “We” must take that time and treasure our loved ones in a way that only Our departure can take away from us. Living is truly nothing without the LOVE we unconditionally give and take making this world go round.
It makes me sooo happy that you had a happy beginning and that you and your neighbor have the understanding that life happens and we have to have forgiveness in order to survive this world.
Miles picture made me grin ever so happy like the Cheshire cat. I am thrilled you were able to capture it the way you have wanted to for so long!
Thank you, for sharing your ever so personal moments. How precious, those moments we keep dear in our hearts of our parents and loved ones. I am going to go hug my treasures right now and I am sending you and the boys <3 & ;)

[Lisa]

That was a post directly from the heart. Thank you for sharing...

[Rochelle New]

I am typing this with one hand because my beloved pup is snuggling with my other arm. I didn't know I was capable of such love until I rescued my Lucille. I will never have kids of my own, but I KNOW this is the same love that mothers feel for their children. My dog is my soul. When the day comes that I am with out her, I will be the most broken I've ever been. But I know when the time is right, I will rescue another lost soul to add to my own.

Thank you for sharing your words. I'm going to log off my computer now and snuggle with baby.

[sacred keep]

((((((♥))))))

[Sarah]

I am really glad Miles is ok Vanessa. It is so sweet that he went after Harley even after the fight. It made me think of my friend Wendy many years ago who had three dogs-and I can only remember the name of the biggest one-Harley strangely enough. One day they all had a fight and the littlest one nearly died-though she was the one who started the fight. Thye were best friends normally and I remember how upset my friend was. You are right about making the most of them while they are here-every day is precious. I look forward so much to getting home from work to see my babies! x

[Nikki]

Oh Vanessa that is such a heartfelt post. I'm so glad both your boys are alright! I love seeing your pictures of them all cozy and loved. I am no stranger to the love we feel for our pets and the pain when one is lost.
My Sophie, a tortoiseshell kitty is due to celebrate her 15th birthday at the end of this month and she is the oldest cat I've ever owned. I'm so thankful for every day I get to spend with her. We lost her sister and adopted sister within a year of each other and she started howling every night, it was then we decided she needed a new friend. So we now have Merlin who's a mischievous 3 year old tabby, Sophie's not greatly impressed she has a boisterous crazy boy in her life but she doesn't cry anymore and she knows she is loved.
Pets bring so much joy into our lives and the best thing is that they love us unconditionally, that's why it hurts so much, but every moment we share with them counts and their memories live on forever!
Oh I'm rambling now, but I'm so glad all is well again. Look after all 3 of your boys ;)
Nikki xx

[Miss Linda]

Wow, What a tearful post and was beautifilly written. You have a wonderful way with words.
I hope that Miles is feeling much better. I strongly believe that animals do dream...Mine run in there sleep..you can watch their paws move and sometimes they make noises.
The pain form the death of a dear furry one does not go away..It changes.

[Nathalie Gagnon]

Thank you for NOT deleting this heartfelt post. I will be extra present with my babies and fur babies today. (((Hugs)))

[Cindi]

OK, Thanks A LOT! I'm sobbing.
No seriously, this is a wonderful post. I lost my soulmate dog 8 years ago. She was the most beautful red Golden named Maddie. The perfect dog who "saved" me more than once. I thought I would die when she passed. Nothing seemed important any longer. I now have a house full of furry kids and my heart hurts when I look at my big boy Blue and notice that he's getting older. I love him SO much, not the same as Maddie, it's different but it's still with all my heart. I completely get this post and now I must go and hug my four legged kids.
XOXO - Cindi

[Rita]

One day I wrote you I feel close to you, for what you write down. Well this is exactly what I meant. These thoughts and your experiences are so similar to me. I can understand what you feel, because I lived similar feelings. That's something magical don't you think? I'm sure other people know what I mean on your blog...
(I took many picures on the snow! Wooonderful)
Kisses to your lovely dogs
rita

[Renee]

I'm glad your dogs are okay. harley needs a visit from the dog whisperer.

I've had fur babies but not now, but know how much you can love them and how much they can love you.

And that 5 more minute thing, I find myself wishing for those 5 more minutes with my mom daily. But no matter how much our hearts break thankfully we have that ability to love over and over again.

[G.G. Pinkster]

B eautiful
A dorable
B eloved
Y ellow fur Baby

M anly
I ntelligent
L oveable
E nergetic
S weetheart

M ajestic
A crobatic
T actful
T eacher
Y ardmaster

I know dogs arguing can be terribly frightening as they get so growling and physical and wolf like. Miles is such a sweet pea to give his neighbor a kiss after it all. xo

[Lori Anderson]

I feel for you. When I lost my 20-year old cat, Buddy, I was inconsolable. I'd had him half my life, nursed him with twice-daily insulin shots -- he'd traveled the country with me, was always patient and sweet.

[Teresa in California]

There are some dogs that I don't trust and one of them is the rottweiler. They look so doggone mean to begin with and they are very protective dogs...I steer clear of them. I am so thankful Miles is okay. Poor boy! :( My sister's in-laws had to turn a hose on their own dogs one time to break up a very vicious fight...I actually think one of the dogs died. It was so crazy and sad. I love furry creatures who are our beloved friends, their personalities become so much a part of us, they know us to the very depth of our souls, it's almost like E.S.P. when they can tell what is bothering us or if we need some cheering up. I had a couple of kitties like that, they could read me like a book and would come and meow and look at me like 'Are you okay?' Such sweet little kitty souls. God knew what he was doing when he made furry friends to warm our hearts.
love to you and many hugs,
Miss Teresa
your post brought tears to my eyes ; )

[deb]

So glad Miles and Matty are okay. What an uncouth gentleman Harley is.....We owned a rottweiler with the patience of a saint. She was a girl named Morgan and we had her for eleven years.....her previous owners told us stories of her letting their young child hold onto her back while he was learning to walk and walk him up and down the hallway...is that endearing or what?? Well one year they wanted to go into a different breed of dog and knew we would love her so they gave her to us for Christmas. Best Christmas present EVER. Well the point of this story is to tell you one day i was taking her for a walk with my friend taking her dog for a walk. Morgan(my dog) was about 3 years old and hers was a German Sheppard puppy. Well the puppy would constant jump on Morgan and nip at her ears. Wonderfully patient Morgan would just ignore the puppy until i guess one day she decided the puppy needed a lesson.......in the blink of an eye(no joke) she had picked up that puppy by the throat and slammed him down on his back growling and making a HUGE spectacle of herself and i'm trying to pull her off and she WOULD NOT BUDGE! Then i see blood around the puppies mouth and i'm thinking OMG! she's killing him! My friends dog! Finally she lets go and we see she had not harmed him....he had bitten his own tongue.......geesh! Hugs! deb

[A Fanciful Twist]

Deb, I so know what you mean. Harley is a gorgeous precious
boy. But you see, I give him hundreds of hugs and kisses - and so when my
pups come around he blocks them from getting to me. If you do not hug or
kiss him when he wants, he will nip you hard on any little meaty part of your
body :) He is a lovable possessive chap. I have no clue what snapped
in him. But, I will just make sure to keep my babes away. He is
still beautiful, and I don't dislike him or anything. A tiny
part in me wonders if he will snap on me one day, since I smell like my
pups. I dont know???

You know - these things happen. :) Poor little puppy. I
am so glad he only bit his own tongue, owie zowie ;)

[Laura]

If only they could live forever . . . . I think of that everytime one of mine has journeyed to the bridge. I'm so glad Miles is okay. The picture with the paw in the air is priceless! Give them both hugs from me - they are precious boys!

[Leah Adams]

Oh, I'm so glad that Miles and Matty are ok.

You are so inspiring, as always! Thank you so much. It is always so sad to lose one of our beloved furkids. I'm not too far away from losing our oldest furkid. She's 21 now, and I've been seeing the signs of her slowing down. I indulge her with her favorite things and shower her with attention, knowing that sometime soon I won't be able to do so. She also needs her Mommy right now, more than ever. Her hearing is gone, and her memory is fading. But she knows her Mommy, and still kicks her brudder's hiney. Poor guy. But they love each other, and when they think I'm not watching, they cuddle. Meanwhile, their sister is just happy if I pat attention to her.

Thank you for reminding me to enjoy that extra five minutes while I can.

[Julie Q]

Vanessa,
What a sweet post. Nothing wrong with loving your babies, and you are sooo right, we should all take an extra minute, give an extra kiss, take a mental picture to treasure forever.

Thanks for sharing, you have made me smile before I head to bed.

Julie and Poppy Q
xxx

[Linda Diane]

I am so glad you didn't delete all that you wrote here, Vanessa. It spoke to me because people close to me have gone through some terrible grief with their fur boys recently, and so it has affected me as well.

Just before Christmas my best friend returned from her volunteer job to find two of her three dogs had been killed by pit bulls that managed to get into her fenced yard. One of her pups somehow escaped the attack. My friend has been traumatized by that experience as you can well imagine.

Then shortly after Christmas my daughter and her roommate were excitedly in the process of moving into a house when one of their two fur boys escaped out the front door, ran into the street, and was struck by a car and killed.

These experiences have been so terrible and do remind us to love on our little pet sweethearts while they are with us. I am so sorry that this happened to Miles. It absolutely breaks my heart that he ran after Harley and licked his face as if to say, "Why did you hurt me? I am your friend." : ( Pure, innocent love of a pup. I am sooo glad he is OK and that you and your boys had a snuggle fest to celebrate their sweet lives. Oh, and I love the funny Miles pics!

Thank you so much for sharing your heart with us.

[Truebluemeandyou]

My Maine Coon Cats and dog from a local shelter mean everything to me. But so do my children, and I'm glad a child wasn't around when Harley decided to nip someone. My youngest almost lost his ear and eye when the sweetest dog I've ever known suddenly turned on him. So I'm glad that you are keeping your dogs apart for now.

[technical writing jobs]

Cute dog. How I wish I was the owner of this dog.

[Sandra Lee]

FURRY LOVE IS THE BEST!!! I love your post today...only animal lovers feel the pain of losing a precious friend. I lost my sweet Abby (Aussie) last April at only 7 yrs and she was the LOVE OF MY LIFE. Constant companion...I hurt so very bad and was so sad for days on end. My hubby and daughter said we cannot live in a home where there is no furry friend, we got Tilly (Aussie) and somehow this precious girl has won over my heart and everyone elses and she will be one next month, the JOY she has brought back is so amazing! Though I will never ever forget my pups that are now in Rainbow Heaven, this little girl is here to comfort and love and I am so HAPPY!!!

[sue carballo- a fan from London]

I am a long time reader of your blog and I think your post was lovely-animal lovers definitely feel the intense pain of grief when their animals die.

[Chelsy]

So sweet! I needed this post, thank you. I'm glad Miles is OK. Snuggles to him!

[Betty]

Oh! I was so scared reading about that horrible fight! I even get scared when dogs play-fight sometimes!! I'm so, so glad that Miles is OK (and that you are too!).

I agree with you about mornings being the horrible times after losing someone (either human or furry). You wake up and think it is just another day until you realize it's not. The grief counselor from the hospice that took care of my parents called me one particularly bad morning recently and I explained it to him. He said that he had heard from many people that the mornings are the hardest.

Your Dear Baby is with my own Dear Chloe and Blinken and they spend their days in Heaven chasing each other and then taking naps together in one big lump! I think my neighbor's cat Spidey might be there too. I've never owned a cat and this one was quite a wild little beastie at times, but almost as soon as I fell in love with him, he disappeared and took my heart with him.

I am just so grateful to know that all the members of your family are safe and sound.

Biggest hugs to you all,

Betty

[Daly @ HypoallergenicDogFood]

I'm not going to write about the loss because it's too sad.

But I love how your dog stood up and fought that day. I know you hate it, and we all do, but sometimes they need to be "little fighters". Of course, it's good when you're near before it gets too serious.

[somepinkflowers]

oh
oh

poor Miles ♥
just being himself,
friendly & all ...

i do wonder
from time-to-time
about The Karma of Truly Mean Dogs,
don't you...

how they got that way...

after all
there are no more Dragons
to slay
out there
that i know of...

i am guessing
they are just busy
being who they are too ...

♥

[liz]

This is such a beautiful post - except the part where Miles gets hurt. I lost my Duncan 4 years ago, and your words have truly captured how his loss made me feel. I too have just found a new furbaby to love, and yes it is different, but I also know, like you, that if anything should happen to him, there are many others waiting for a home, but I won't wait 4years, because the love and joy this little guy has brought to our lives has been amazing, and I never want to be without the love of a pet again. So glad to read that Miles has recovered- hope he puts this scary episode far, far away.

[carrie]

okay... just sobbing over here now! Ugh. The love they bring is indescribable. We didn't get dogs until I was in my 20's and as they got older... that panic set in. We lost one last fall and I... still can't talk about it. I never knew how much I could love a little furry soul until Biscuit. I will take your advice and smother my sweet golden girl an extra five minutes every day and really cherish it :) And yes, I definitely think that dogs do dream... our girl dreams every night and it's adorable! Hope Miles is 100%, soon (What a CUTIE!) and... errr... I'm not feeling the love for your neighbor right now... grrrr.

[Silke]

Dear Vanessa,

Your doggy posts always make me cry, just because I can so relate. To that indescribable joy of puppy love and the crushing pain when they pass on. I have a very special love with our now puppy, Winslow, and cannot even think about what I would do without him. Luckily he loves to be hugged and kissed - which I do lots of every day. He's only five years old (and all of our pets have always lived to a good old age), but I'm not taking one minute for granted!!

Sending you all much love!! Silke

[J.]

never be embarassed to share what is in your heart and what is true, those that tune in with thier heart will never think it silly or too much and those that do, well we'll say a prayer for them.
As to that feeling of sadness and the wondering if your world will ever be alright again? been there and come back, it's exactly like you said, never the same but a good different, never fogotten but others welcomed, it's amazing how big the heart really is. I am positive that my Gabriel is also waiting for me, one day again I'll feel that whiskery furry face next to mine, and I'll have that five more minutes and then some.

[Annalee]

Ok... so now that I'm done bawling, I can write to you about how much Miles looks like my kitties Lhu & Vash when they sleep... ^-^ Heads tipped back, tiny kitty fangs poking out, random legs flung at strange angles... Ah, how I love animals... ^-^
I've been feeling the empty space my kitty Kyo left when he died four years ago especially much lately, and I'm not sure why. This also gets me thinking though (as soon as I'm finished crying that is) about how I took a chance & took Lhu home with me, even though I didn't feel ready. And I'm so glad I did. ^-^ All of my kitties do so much that is a balm to the aching saddness that I don't think will ever completely go away. And I hope that I do the same for Phiphi & Macha, who also loved & I'm sure miss Kyo.
Love & hugs & I'm super glad that all the pups involved in the tussle are ok. ^-^ Matty & Miles are just too cute snuggled into bed with you. ^-^

XOXO

[carole]

Tears in my eyes too.

We have lost so many babies over the years. All loved, all remembered, all with tears still shed for them when something hits just right.

Several years ago we lost two of our cats within two months of each other. Both were in their teens, but it was still a shock.

A couple of more years down the road, the same thing, two cats within months of each other. Pain. Unbearable pain. One was an animal that I had spent months with, at his own pace, helping him to feel safe around people again (he had been abused by a previous owner). We had a strong bond he and I. He never really got over his mistrust of men, though he eventually decided that hubby was 'okay', especially if I was nearby. He followed me everywhere. I was there to help him believe in people again, and I was there when he took his last breath. It was not an easy thing to do.

The most recent loss was only a few months ago.

Hubby and I made the decision that when our current animals have gone that we'll take a break. It is simply too painful when the losses come. And they do come, because unfair as it is, animals simply don't live as long as we do.

So, as we've made our way, trying to recover, sticking to our plan, other cats have wandered into our lives. The most recent, a feral, who took up living on our property a few years ago.

He started out by watching me one summer as I interacted with the other animals. He'd watch from afar, eventually, over the weeks, edging closer, watching, waiting, I guess trying to decide if I could be trusted. lol

He got to know the other cats and started to spend time with them, seemingly adopting them as his new found family.

He eventually made the decision that hubby and I were to be included into the fold, and that was that. Like it or not.

He has been an indoor cat for two years now, and is extremely bonded to me, barely allowing me out of his sight. He and our 12 year old cat Turbo are besties. They play and rough house like two young kittens (we believe Pantera to be roughly 6 or so). Turbo has never accepted another cat before Pan, so we find it all very interesting.

And we've decided that even if we think we can swear off animals, sometimes they have other ideas. You just have to go with it.

And you're right. It's not the same, but it's still good. :-)

[Donna @ EdibleCreations]

That dear black nose on the white blanket and that darling look in their eyes make you forget the world of troubles, don't they?