Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you for all the Matty love.
You have no idea what that means.
I can't even tell you.
Today he is wanting to walk around a little more.
He is sleeping a lot too.
A little dizzy-ish, head to one side a bit still.
Not too interested in eating.
But seemingly, a bit more lucid.
I am cooking him things he likes, and from time to time he gobbles some up.
But, dare I say, the steroid for potential inflammation might be working.
(he is on 6 meds right now)
Hoooray hoooooray hooooooray!!
(knock on wood)
We are all cuddled up, me doodling for sanity.
Still.
And maybe always.
The doodles found me at the best time.
I think we should all doodle, 100% for sure.
It's like purging your emotions and feelings through journaling.
Only, better.
Easier.
For me at least.
I am finding sun rays.
I am working on myself.
Heart and mind.
Nerves and anxieties.
Seeing life's challenges in a different light.
All I care about right now, is that Matty is not in any pain.
That is the part I can't stand.
I just want him to have comfort.
I sleep with him all night.
He cozies up in the middle of my bed.
He is with me, by my side all day.
I hope he is feeling better.
That in some way the medicine is working.
The medicines are meant to work on different things that could potentially be the cause of the ailments.
All I hope is that something works, and he is comfortable.
The doctors were extremely thorough both at the vets and the hospital.
They worked hard to find a cause.
Blood tests, neurology tests.
But they couldn't really tell.
So, we are in that space where we will know within 1 week how things are going.
Life is such a strange place.
It is so wonderful and magical, and so harsh and tough.
All bundled into one.
I often say that life really is like a fairytale.
Filled with lots of good and bad.
But all we can do is hope that we learn from the tough times.
Grow and become better people.
That we have the strength to pull ourselves out of the sad times.
And that, we find some hearty sense of peace within.
Life has ups and downs and all arounds.
It's how we face those times, that gets us to the brighter other side.
Sometimes, the going through things is beyond painful.
And we just can't see the light.
After a while you learn that, the light is there.
At the end of the tunnel, the light is waiting for you.
It is.
The key is, trying hard to find a way not to loose your zest and love for being on this planet, when the going gets crazy tough.
That's the challenge, isn't it?
We never want to see those we love in pain.
Seeing someone suffer hurts like mad.
When Mister Lovee had his really bad car accident several years ago, I would go in the garden and cry. Hoping and wishing for times to be as they once were.
After a while of getting through the madness of such an event, and broken bones etc, things were just as good again.
A miracle.
A gift.
When Baby died, I couldn't imagine my heart mending.
Then Miles came into our lives and brought Matty, Lovee and me much joy.
There is love to be found.
There are wonderful full days again.
It's just, they might be a bit different.
The one thing I know is, it's good to cry.
It's good to sob.
It's good to laugh.
It's good to hope and pray and have faith.
It's okay to break down.
And then puzzle piece yourself back together again.
It's okay to love, no matter how much it hurts sometimes.
It's important to remind ourselves of this over and over.
And to love those in our life, everyday, like it's the last.
Life will be sad and hard.
And good and wonderful.
In no specific order.
With no warning.
Through trials, we learn, it'll be okay.
Somehow.
We will make it.
Love or loss.
We are so lucky to have known such love.
Whether it is current, or a memory.
But, for now, it's living in the moment that matters.
This is what I am reminding myself of.
Every.
Minute.
Especially when the worry critters run through my belly, for my furry boy.
Just love love love.
Thank you for being out there.
Such bountiful good wishes sent from us, to you.
Love,
Vanessa, Mister Lovee, Matty & Miles
