I had forgotten, you see, the importance...
Of being extra good to oneself.
Like, going to the store just to buy flowers.
And on the way, stopping for more candles.
Buying flowers for yourself, for no reason at all, is one of the bestest things.
If I do say so myself.
Something curious always happens when I am looking at flowers to buy.
Someone asks if it's my birthday.
If I am going to a party.
Last year a man came up to me and asked me if anyone had told me lately that I was beautiful.
I almost fell over.
I didn't feel beautiful at all.
I think he was an angel, because when I looked up from trying to control my crimson face, he was gone.
But what I really think it is, is the glow of happiness due to buying flowers for no reason, that illuminates the face.
I got roses and carnations.
The cashier asked me if I was giving them to someone special.
I said yes, myself.
Which was kind of odd to say, but neat too.
She scoffed a little.
Then she said, both bouquets?
And I said, indeed!
Then she said, maybe I am weird, but I would never buy myself flowers.
It's too frivolous.
And, they just die.
I guess, I am just weird, she said again.
And I said, well, it's all perception because I love dry flowers and save them.
Save them?! She exclaimed.
Oh no, I don't like junk in my house she said.
I smiled and said, I love junk.
Well, enjoy your flowers she said.
I said, I sure will, you should try it sometime.
And I smiled at her.
Hoping and wishing, that possibly maybe, she might buy herself some flowers.
Such a lovely thing.
Especially in winter.
When the garden is asleep.
Put on some music, separate them.
Just be in the moment.
No stress, no worries.
Just a little time for oneself.
And, better than that, a little love for oneself.
I have a friend who used to love cleaning her house, putting on the Gypsy Kings, lighting candles.
We both love candles.
Then she stopped.
And I asked her why?
She said, I don't know, kind of in a sad tone.
Then she said, I must do this again.
I think we just forget sometimes, in the busy days of life, to be kind to our most important love.
I know that I am enjoying my candy pink carnations and roses like mad.
Maybe I should even thank myself, shouldn't I?
For the flowers?
Notice how no matter where you go in life, people try to squash goodness?
Like the cashier thinking me silly for buying myself flowers for no reason?
I could have taken that on.
No thanks, it's not my issue.
I mean, why not buy yourself flowers?
I can't see a better reason than none.
The best part of growing older is that, people can't break through your secret shield as easily.
Mine is a bit more solid with every passing year.
And by golly, if I want to buy myself flowers, I most certainly will.
And if I want chocolates or balloons, I will get them too.
Because you matter.
That's my motto.
Now, when was the last time you bought yourself flowers, just because?
ps: This way playing on the New Age station while I typed....