I often think about that night I sat at that red light...
In my car.
Around 18 or 19 years old...
Choosing my journey.
Only now...
I realize...
That really, my journey actually chose me.
It wasn't until this very moment that I realized that fact.
That night, all those years ago...
I heard two voices guiding me.
Yes yes, I did hear two voices.
At a red light, sitting in my car, haha!
No, I am not mad.
Or am I?
:-)
The thing is, that is the second in time that I committed to living a creative life.
In that moment everything in me shifted.
I stepped out of the path I was in with all my friends, and started running through the proverbial forest.
I wasn't going to pursue the things my friends were after, but I didn't even know why?
What I did know was that, it was my truth.
I ran and ran with my decision in hand.
It fit me like a glove, it felt like the most "right" thing I had ever decided to do.
I was going to pursue creativity as a life path.
The thing that had saved me from my first true heartbreak was indeed paint.
Saved me from feeling lost.
From being an angst ridden teen.
It was the only thing I cared about.
Paint, clay.
That was it.
That was the decision.
And mostly, I was doing it for the health of my soul.
(like digging in soil)
Because creating made me feel so good and alive and free.
And the most like me, than anything ever had.
How I knew that then, I never knew?
I always thought I just knew.
But really, now I realize, I was being guided.
And that makes so much more sense.
And still today, it was the most right decision for me.
I always felt (when I was very young) that my emotions were so intense.
I needed something strong to balance me out.
Something good.
I had started really too early in life, as a little girl asking, who am I?
Who am I?
But creativity helped me feel true to me.
And in it, I discovered myself.
Over years and time.
And still, you change and learn.
Even today, you meet new pieces of yourself.
And sometimes....
Life gives you some real hard times.
Kicking you in the tooshie.
Making you wonder again.
Who you are and what the heck is up?
And so, you step back.
Assess things.
You realize you have changed vastly.
And yet...
And yet...
For someone like me, and maybe you too?
The paint (creativity) brings you back.
To who you are.
To where you belong.
Whether you share it or not with others.
It's there.
All those stories and characters alive in your mind.
That safe place, where you have endless butterfly picnics with someone called Art.
Where creatures and characters beckon.
Where you are never forgotten.
And the things is...
If you listen even just a little...
To those creative voices...
They will hold your hand and take you to the most magical places sitting right inside of you.
Waiting to jump onto paper.
Tucked right in your heart.
The you-ness explodes.
Eunice?
(my fave nickname for my sis)
Maybe creativity is just the nourishment it needs.
Like growing pink peonies in spring?
It's never too late or too early to plunge you know.
Do it for you.
You aren't too old.
Or too square.
Or too logical.
Or too stuffy.
Or too afraid.
Or too "not the creative type."
It doesn't matter what path you chose.
Or what life hands you.
Bad or good or scary or sad.
Ups and downs and all arounds.
It is never ever ever too late, to find that thing that makes you tic.
Or to plunge deeper into what you already love.
Maybe you already know what it is?
Maybe you want something new?
Whatever it is that your soul itches for.
You deserve it.
You do.
I am listening to my paintbrush these days.
Letting my pencil take me to visit new characters and places.
Sometimes you have to have a date with yourself.
Sit down and get to know yourself, over and over again.
The skipping in the clouds me, had to get to know the me that had rotten awful things happen to her the last couple years.
In doing so, I am able to learn and grow.
And let go, and keep skipping.
Plus, how would you know a rotten strawberry from a delicious one, if there were no rotten ones?
(by the way, bonus, really actually skipping makes your abs sore, which has benefits too, haha!)
The thing is, so many good things happen in life.
We can't let the bad trump the good.
It's time for you.
You know it don't you?
Plunge.
Little ways, or small.
Just plunge.
Take time for you.
Swim in a sea of creativity.
Baking, sewing, reading, painting, claying, singing, digging in dirt, piano keys, guitar strings, decorating, running, dancing, cloud gazing!
Whatever it is.
I think the doctor wants us to have a small dose.
Or large.
Or extra large.
Supersized!
You be the judge.
Looooove, V
And by the by, this was not what I intended to write today, but hey, I went with it.
Haha!
One of my faves from a few years back for a little weekending fun!
