Life is a curious place, isn't it?
Sometimes you are way way way up high.
Floating in joy and inspiration and goodness.
Other times you are way way way low.
Sometimes you know why, and other times you just can't put your finger on it.
Sometimes you are just numb and floating, no swimming at all.
Whatever the case, when you sink way low you have to force yourself to swim.
Sometimes you swim fast and sometimes you swim slow.
Sometimes it's a fancy stroke an others it's just darn sloppy.
But sooner or later you arrive at some warm little island and everything makes sense.
You sit back and smile at the irony of how everything starts to come into focus.
I do not know why we need the trials and tribulations of life, but we do.
We need the journey even when we think we don't need it, or don't even want it really.
And isn't it so true, it's not the destination but the journey?
And somehow, I hadn't realized I was on this crazy journey.
I should know better because throughout my life I've looked back and slapped my knee laughing at the curiously crazy reasons I went through this or that.
I guess as we get older we forget.
The same way we need reading glasses from one day to the next is that same way that our perception of our lives and our very own needs get fuzzy.
We eat the burnt toast, we take on more than we should.
We are not selfish enough.
We barricade the door shut, we don't want to try anything or do anything new.
We are so cozy is what we tell ourselves.
Even though we feel something stirring in us that's not good.
We have a need tugging.
Maybe even sadness or anxiety, but we don't listen.
Kind of like feeling lost even though we aren't lost.
And for someone like me it would take a proverbial house flood to get me to emerge from my safe nook.
(safe nooks are wonderful but you have to venture out from time to time in order to enjoy them better)
And yet.....
And yet....
For the past three years I have been in a swirl of unfamiliarity.
Of doing insane things, going places, loving people.
I hiked hills and listened to all the music I could find on vast long hikes alone every day.
Every kind, every shape, every style.
I went every where, tried everything.
I ventured out of my nook one toe at a time.
Slowly going all the way out.
I put myself in scary wonderful amazing good anxiety inducing situations.
I let my nest be completely destroyed in the wind.
All because I had this vast deep need to live.
And I had encouragement, go go go, from those I love.
And then, I started to slowly build a new nest.
The same, but different.
When I was a teen I would go dancing with my friends to discos to feel alive.
But when you grow up and you're still a person who has a need to feel life intensely, what do you do?
I found something.
I went to the ocean and let the wind whip me around like mad.
There was no fear or anxiety at the ocean.
Because all your senses are so swept away you forget to worry.
And the time away from your safety zone makes your safety zone even better.
And then, here's the weirdest most wild thing...
Slowly, over time...
As you allow yourself to go fly and live...
And you take yourself out of your safety zone, away from everything you think you need.
You feel MORE like yourself than you ever have.
Your map back to yourself unfolds.
And there you are.
The person you love!
Creative, inspired, happy, free.
And that is the secret, you see.
Change, evolve, venture out & it will bring you back to you.
Who knew?
The day after I realized this I heard Willy Nelson say that you have to change in order to stay the same!
What?!
Yes, how serendipitous is that?
You have to change in order to be able to stay true to yourself.
It doesn't have to be big change.
Sometimes it's not just change, but trying new things.
Ebb and flow right?
I know that right now, you might feel a need for something.
We all do, even when we are happy we still need to evolve if even in the tiniest ways.
And if you feel that need, then by golly do things to fulfill that need.
Ask yourself, what do I need? What do I love to do?
Take yourself out for frozen yogurt and jot some things down on paper.
Be good to you.
Be a little more selfish.
Buy some flowers, go out to a movie, see an old friend.
Do not let anything stop you from it.
Life is too short.
Do something you keep putting off.
Go dancing.
Dance in your living room.
It's the change that will bring you back to you.
The muses will swirl back in.
Your heart will feel content and full.
If you feel anxious read DARE by Barry Mcdonagh.
If you need to chat to a like minded spirit email me.
If you need to get rid of clutter, box it and call Goodwill.
I did that.
Go out for breakfast, go to a botanical garden.
Call a friend you love and haven't talked to in 10 years.
Please.
Life is too short.
Add tiny bit of change to your routine.
As my dad says, life will always get mundane so spice it up!!!
I promise you, a little change will bring you back to the you that you love and miss.
I've never felt more inspired or creative.
I went to the ocean again and collected shells, I stood in the ocean breeze for hours and hours and let it whip me around.
When I was younger I knew just how to fill my cup up, I guess I forgot, but now I am learning again.
Life is filled with learning no matter your age.
SO much love from me to you!
Love, Vanessa
xoxo
In the words of Marc Chagall..
The dignity of the artist lies in his duty of keeping awake the sense of wonder in the world. In this long vigil he often has to vary his methods of stimulation; but in this long vigil he is also himself striving against a continual tendency to sleep.
I think what he is saying is....
Live Colorfully!
Or try to at least.
Spice it up so you don't get bored.
:-)
