Inviting you in for a cozy simple day in our home.
Perhaps a cup of tea and a biscuit?
If you are visiting, be certain that Teddy will be sitting on your lap for most of the time.
Offering you endless hugs and resting his head on your chest.
That's our Teddy.
Pure Love.
He puts up with Poppy's surprise wrestle matches and gives her every toy and treat that he might have in his mouth.
I can't believe I have these two sweet dogs.
I am so eternally grateful for them in my life, they bring me so much joy and really help me get through these tough days.
Them and going into the garden, so good for my little heart.
Truth be told, I'm up and down in my emotions.
Sadness grips you unexpectedly it seems.
You can be hanging a piece of art and then whamo, super sad, crying in bed.
Luckily the dogs then jump on me and are such bundles of joy, I just hug them madly.
I encourage myself to make things from the garden goods.
So, I made another batch of pesto.
The last batch I made was such a hit, it was gone in a day, although I did manage to freeze a little.
Nothing really says summer like basil.
Look at that little sweet face, by my side as I sorted basil leaves.
Poppy is such a loveable joy.
Sometimes I can't believe I have two sweet and loveable dogs.
Poppy sleeps glued to my side at night.
The oddest thing, she has sooo many of Matty's habits and traits.
It really surprises us so much.
It's like she has always been here.
She even knows how to open doors just like he did, and she's known from the very beginning.
Teddy sleeps at my feet, or drapes himself over me, until he gets too hot and goes to the floor to cool off.
I bought these curious little bundles of flowers at Trader Joe's before my mom went back to her house.
We spent our summer in Scottsdale, near my dad's medical care.
My avocado trees got a little taxed while I was away, as my helper forgot to water them.
I think they will come back though.
When my mom and I returned to my house (from being out of town), I told her we had to try to do a few happy things.
So, we bought flowers and treats before she headed an hour and a half away to her house.
It's a little bit hard to go from being super busy, racing around freeways and rented houses.
Being with my mom all day every day.
To now, being back at home and really processing everything that has happened.
I'm drying more flower bundles.
Going for walks with Poppy.
Teddy goes for his walks with Irishman because he's too strong and wild on walks.
I've found out that Poppy does not like other dogs.
Hopefully she will outgrow that in the future.
But she makes up for it by loving all people.
I've never met a dog who loves people as much as Poppy does.
Teddy does too, although he will act fierce sometimes.
Mister Lovee took care of them wonderfully all summer.
They adore him and see him as dad.
Anywho...
It's been nice and odd to try to refind myself in my two homes, and in my own life, after such a harrowing few months.
The pesto was good though, so we have that.
I never use a recipe, I just make it all to taste.
I sit outside, watching all the beautiful butterflies and yellow-bellied finches.
The yellow guys love to steal zinnia seeds before they are ready.
And of course, they are wild about the sunflowers going to seed.
I'm just taking deep breaths.
Loving on dogs and admiring winged creatures.
I thought I had done so well all summer.
We were so crazy busy being by dad's side, renting houses, moving around.
I thought I was doing so great, which at the time I was, but I think I was also very numb.
My brain's coping skill to get through this very arduous summer I suppose.
A few days ago the numbness lifted, and I felt more in disbelief.
So raw and sad, I almost panicked.
Did this really happen, is my dear dad really gone?
Normal feelings in the stages of grief.
It will take time, I know.
Even typing this feels surreal.
My strong dad, caretaker of us all.
Gone.
I see now why he worked so hard to make me wildly independent.
Ever since I was a little girl, he's been pushing me to be so strong.
And he succeeded in so many ways.
I can fix almost anything, I try everything that I'm curious about.
I know to pray, to feel, to go through the fire in order to come out the other side.
I know you are growing when you are in pain, even if you can't see it at the time.
I am in that space of accepting reality.
I feel joy and sorrow all at once.
Everyone tells you how short life is, gosh is it ever.
That's why it's important to try to enjoy each day as best as you can.
Look up at the sky, watch the clouds and the creatures.
There is strength in vulnerability.
But you don't always have to be strong, and you shouldn't.
Just allow yourself to feel what you need to feel.
Remember, the person you lost loved you so much and would want to see you smile.
They want the absolute very best for you, and more.
They would want you to know that they are okay, and they are still loving you from beyond the galaxy.
I know beyond anything else, that my dad would want me to thrive.
He would say, my love, life is very short.
Do all the things that bring you joy, do everything you want to do in life.
Paint, dance, sing, play with your dogs, live it all up.
Go go go, don't sit here and wallow.
Gooooo!
He would always push us to get up and go.
Don't sit here and cry, but keep living.
Don't be afraid.
So many wonderful things are there for you.
Grab them.
That's what he would say.
That is what he is saying.
And, I believe him.
Love, V
