A Fanciful Twist

Of Botanicals and an Autumnal Country House Window

Greetings from the country house.

My little window shelf is full of whatever I can find in the garden right now.

The botanical bits and bobs made me so happy, that I have kept refilling them.

Eucalyptus and a few roses.

A bit blurry, but I am offering you phone pics today whilst testing my new computer here in the country.

At the beginning of the pandemic I decided to create my office at house 2.

But I still have my original office at the country house, which I call house 1.

I was just in need of a new computer here, so here I am.

This little window is in the little kitchenette between my office and my studio.

It makes me so happy.

I can see out to the back, and even get a little peek of the tiny cottage out to the left.

Pomegranates are all ready and some even cracked open.

The light is changing, and the mornings are definitely getting cooler up here in the mountain.

Baby Poppy is napping right behind me as I type to you.

I had to snap this photo because she sleeps with her arms turned out so curiously.

She's just such a sweet and sassy little girl.

I'm sorry about the odd phone pics, but I don't have my fancy camera with me, as I have been away.

I came directly to the country house upon my return from out of town.

As you may know, 7/8 years ago we added a second house to the mix.

So, now we live at two places and go back and forth every day, as they are close to each other.

The country house is our love letter to rustic cottage and creative living and has been our home for over 25 years.

House two was just a really interesting curious place that came our way, that we purchased at the perfect time.

One day we would like to build a new cottage at the country house, but we will chat more about that on another day.

For today, I shall share where I have been for the last week.

In all honesty, it was a very challenging week.

I traveled to our family home.

I went through all my dad's things and chose everything I wanted to keep.

Everyone got to choose what they wanted, and at the end my mom gave me my dad's wedding band.

It fits me perfectly on my third finger and I have not taken it off since receiving it.

In the midst of all of that, I got severely ill from my allergies, in dealing with dusty things on super high shelves and such.

My mom keeps an immaculate house, but the super high shelves in dad's closet were dusty.

Over the last 3 years I have become alarmingly allergic to household dust.

To the point that my eyes swell up and I sneeze for 3 days in utter misery, even with allergy medication.

It's truly debilitating.

As a child I had severe allergies to almost everything outdoors.

And so, my parents took me to an allergist at 8 years old, so that I could have a normal life.

I received 4 shots on each arm, twice a week, until I was 18.

Thanks to my mom for making that happen, because I can now have a garden and dogs.

Alas, I must return to the allergist because the dust thing has become more serious.

Are you allergic to anything?

Both of my parents have allergies, so I suppose dna got me there.

Aside from that, it was nice to be at the family home and we accomplished some huge projects.

I did really well doing the projects and such.

But upon returning home I did feel sadder than ever.

It comes in waves, and I am certain it will for a very long time.

But I do also feel happy and creative at times.

Then I think about my dad, and things take a detour.

He was one of my best friends, I miss our daily chats terribly.

I listen to our favorite music from Somewhere in Time, John Barry.

And other artists such as Neil Diamond, Luis Miguel, Andrea Bocelli, etc.

The most random thing happened the other day.

My phone pinged with a notification from YouTube offering me a video.

I opened it and it was the song My Way by Frank Sinatra.

And I thought...

Ok, Dad.

I hear you.

You know, the end is never easy.

You want so badly to take away any suffering or pain the person you loved went through.

I think that is the hardest part.

How to find peace in those feelings.

I'm just living my day to day life, with tears and smiles all along the way.

It's just the way it's going to be.

It's all very unbelievable at times as well.

You think you'll have your parents for so much longer.

You think there is another day, another tomorrow.

You never expect the unexpected.

I have buckets of wonderful memories.

I hold on to them and just move each day, one step at a time.

Painting, gardening and dogs are the joy of my life.

Nothing is guaranteed.

Each day must be lived to the fullest possible.

For me, that's cuddling with Teddy and Poppy and putting paint on the palette.

Watering my plants, pinching fragrant leaves.

Watch clouds go by, enjoy it all.

Enjoy anything beautiful around you.

Sky, rain, breeze, music.

Embrace it.

In all of this I have learned, only the very simple things truly matter.

I knew this, but now it has been proven to me.

All that matters is that you find some sort of joy in your life.

That you look up and see all that nature has to offer.

In the end, you can not take anything with you.

Your journey and your experience become the most valuable thing you ever had.

So, make the experience as lovely as you can.

It's the greatest treasure you will ever behold.

Your journey.

Your joy.

The good and the difficult.

All of it.

Your journey is all yours, it's your greatest most meaningful thing.

The bees, the flowers, a hug from someone you love.

Your family of pets and humans.

Music, creativity, a cup of tea in a garden chair.

Those are the things that truly matter.

All your collections of those little things are the most invaluable of riches.

They are the richness of your life.

 

See you soon

Love, Vanessa

 

 

 

 

Hello September {Cozy days at Teddy's House}

Inviting you in for a cozy simple day in our home.

Perhaps a cup of tea and a biscuit?

If you are visiting, be certain that Teddy will be sitting on your lap for most of the time.

Offering you endless hugs and resting his head on your chest.

That's our Teddy.

Pure Love.

He puts up with Poppy's surprise wrestle matches and gives her every toy and treat that he might have in his mouth.

I can't believe I have these two sweet dogs.

I am so eternally grateful for them in my life, they bring me so much joy and really help me get through these tough days.

Them and going into the garden, so good for my little heart.

Truth be told, I'm up and down in my emotions.

Sadness grips you unexpectedly it seems.

You can be hanging a piece of art and then whamo, super sad, crying in bed.

Luckily the dogs then jump on me and are such bundles of joy, I just hug them madly.

I encourage myself to make things from the garden goods.

So, I made another batch of pesto.

The last batch I made was such a hit, it was gone in a day, although I did manage to freeze a little.

Nothing really says summer like basil.

Look at that little sweet face, by my side as I sorted basil leaves.

Poppy is such a loveable joy.

Sometimes I can't believe I have two sweet and loveable dogs.

Poppy sleeps glued to my side at night.

The oddest thing, she has sooo many of Matty's habits and traits.

It really surprises us so much.

It's like she has always been here.

She even knows how to open doors just like he did, and she's known from the very beginning.

Teddy sleeps at my feet, or drapes himself over me, until he gets too hot and goes to the floor to cool off.

I bought these curious little bundles of flowers at Trader Joe's before my mom went back to her house.

We spent our summer in Scottsdale, near my dad's medical care.

My avocado trees got a little taxed while I was away, as my helper forgot to water them.

I think they will come back though.

When my mom and I returned to my house (from being out of town), I told her we had to try to do a few happy things.

So, we bought flowers and treats before she headed an hour and a half away to her house.

It's a little bit hard to go from being super busy, racing around freeways and rented houses.

Being with my mom all day every day.

To now, being back at home and really processing everything that has happened.

I'm drying more flower bundles.

Going for walks with Poppy.

Teddy goes for his walks with Irishman because he's too strong and wild on walks.

I've found out that Poppy does not like other dogs.

Hopefully she will outgrow that in the future.

But she makes up for it by loving all people.

I've never met a dog who loves people as much as Poppy does.

Teddy does too, although he will act fierce sometimes.

Mister Lovee took care of them wonderfully all summer.

They adore him and see him as dad.

Anywho...

It's been nice and odd to try to refind myself in my two homes, and in my own life, after such a harrowing few months.

The pesto was good though, so we have that.

I never use a recipe, I just make it all to taste.

I sit outside, watching all the beautiful butterflies and yellow-bellied finches.

The yellow guys love to steal zinnia seeds before they are ready.

And of course, they are wild about the sunflowers going to seed.

I'm just taking deep breaths.

Loving on dogs and admiring winged creatures.

I thought I had done so well all summer.

We were so crazy busy being by dad's side, renting houses, moving around.

I thought I was doing so great, which at the time I was, but I think I was also very numb.

My brain's coping skill to get through this very arduous summer I suppose.

A few days ago the numbness lifted, and I felt more in disbelief.

So raw and sad, I almost panicked.

Did this really happen, is my dear dad really gone?

Normal feelings in the stages of grief.

It will take time, I know.

Even typing this feels surreal.

My strong dad, caretaker of us all.

Gone.

I see now why he worked so hard to make me wildly independent.

Ever since I was a little girl, he's been pushing me to be so strong.

And he succeeded in so many ways.

I can fix almost anything, I try everything that I'm curious about.

I know to pray, to feel, to go through the fire in order to come out the other side.

I know you are growing when you are in pain, even if you can't see it at the time.

I am in that space of accepting reality.

I feel joy and sorrow all at once.

Everyone tells you how short life is, gosh is it ever.

That's why it's important to try to enjoy each day as best as you can.

Look up at the sky, watch the clouds and the creatures.

There is strength in vulnerability.

But you don't always have to be strong, and you shouldn't.

Just allow yourself to feel what you need to feel.

Remember, the person you lost loved you so much and would want to see you smile.

They want the absolute very best for you, and more.

They would want you to know that they are okay, and they are still loving you from beyond the galaxy.

I know beyond anything else, that my dad would want me to thrive.

He would say, my love, life is very short.

Do all the things that bring you joy, do everything you want to do in life.

Paint, dance, sing, play with your dogs, live it all up.

Go go go, don't sit here and wallow.

Gooooo!

He would always push us to get up and go.

Don't sit here and cry, but keep living.

Don't be afraid.

So many wonderful things are there for you.

Grab them.

That's what he would say.

That is what he is saying.

And, I believe him.

 

Love, V