Hello Lovely Friends!
I am testing this post before I write to you at 11:50 p.m. on January 1st.
I have been having some blog glitches over the last months and will return with updates to this post in about 15 minutes.
I just need to make sure it works first.
<3 <3 <3
And I am back.
Hello Hello!
So good to be here writing to you from our little New Year soiree.
We celebrated in front of one of our caravans at the country house.
One that I owe you a story about.
The same one that we have wanted to renovate since autumn of 2019.
But somehow, the peeling blue paint in the most perfect shade keeps me from feeling any pressure to do so.
Mister Teddy holding court as I was setting up...
I just used any things I had around the house to decorate.
A striped fabric from India, a paper garland, and glitter stars that I made a lifetime ago.
Can you believe I have been blogging for nearly two decades?
So much has changed, some wonderful, some not so wonderful.
Wonderful below.
Poppy.
Added quite serendipitously to our lives in April 2024.
The breeze wafts through.
Ridiculously glorious weather we have been having.
Perfect for celebrating this evening.
Bumpy ornamental lemons from one of our trees.
Gorgeous golden hour light illuminating the evening.
Clinking glasses with ginger ale and sparkling apple cider.
I sigh with joy.
All that is gained, all that is lost.
All that remains the same, all that changes.
Not very long ago, I thought the greatest days of my life had come to an end.
Matty and Miles were gone.
It's not just losing someone, but also feeling that you are losing a wonderful era in your life.
But then, like magic, Teddy and then Poppy came into my life.
Proving to me that things do end, things do change.
There will likely be impossible losses.
But there are still beautiful parts of them alive in your heart and mind.
There is love that can come into your life in different ways.
This year I gained a Poppy girl and lost a dear dad that I love.
I am someone different, and yet the same.
I get older and wiser, knocked around a little, dusted off and then moving forward again.
I am naturally a happy person, I seek the light in a way that surprises me sometimes.
Ever since I was a child, if something happened, I would wake up the next day with a fresh set of eyes.
I have gone through my profound loss, the worst of it, straight through the gauntlet.
I have seen more than I ever wanted, I have been stronger than I ever expected.
I have been heartbroken, broken, patched back together and set back on my path.
Lost in the woods and then somehow miraculously emerging.
Albeit it with wounds and memories of the past year, so many.
Still some tears, which is always okay.
But there are the lifelong memories to date, so many good.
One thing I know, you will be ok.
Somehow.
And even if you are not ok, that has to be ok too, because it is out of your control.
Some days will be wonderful, you will almost forget about your pain.
Others, you will be reminded again.
But one thing I know for sure is that you must go forward.
And with time, you will get better.
You will laugh, smile, love.
You will not forget, but you will feel a little better in time.
Some days you will have setbacks.
You will ebb and flow.
This is all okay.
This is life.
I started writing this blog in December of 2006.
It is one of the greatest joys of my life, and I would very much like to continue.
There are some huge issues with my blog service, which I will not bore you with.
Loading photos takes hours and many tries to get one to stick.
What I have done is backed up my blog, just in case this service poofs one day.
But look for me, because I will return again if that happens.
It's so scary to think about losing 18 years, but I have learned so much this last year.
Nothing lasts forever, and your experience is all about how hard you choose to take it.
Will you be pliable, elastic?
Will you be firm and unwavering.
Change is all around, no matter how much we would like things to always stay the same.
As my friend's mother said, before I had surgery over a decade ago...
Nothing will be as bad a what you yourself will put yourself through.
Boy was she right.
Look, the truth is, some things will occur that we can't just be all happy go lucky about.
But if given the choice, why not try to reach for the light.
I will seek it out, even if it's the tiniest orb of light in a dark wooded path.
And maybe that is what this year of 2025 is all about.
Be more pliable, more elastic.
Be kind and forgiving to yourself as well as to others.
You don't have to stop loving your old loves that have gone to the great beyond.
But you can allow for life to gift you other wonderful happenings.
Be open and willing.
One of my favorite sayings that I always say wrong, but it's my interpretation, is -
"It's in the moment that you make a decision that the universe conspires to assist you."
Be it a pet, a hobby, an adventure, a dream, a voyage, a state of mind.
It's really all up to you in so many ways.
State your wish, your intention, write it down...
And watch it begin to manifest.
It might not happen the way you expect but be open to the unexpected.
Take it from me, sometimes things will happen in the most curious way.
You will look back and say, oh my goodness!
I can't believe how that unfolded.
I personally like to look at life as one long journey, as opposed to a year-to-year basis.
But for the sake of how our lives are set up and how the world operates in years...
Then I shall end my chat to you by stating that in 2025 I want to be kind to myself.
I want to be mindful and present and enjoy each and every day to the best of my ability.
I will write down my dreams and hopes, and I am open to how any of them would like to unfold.
Shall we try that together?
Happy New Year.
I wish the best for you always.
May you go into the New Year in a calm mindset of self-love and dreaming aplenty.
Love,
Vanessa
See you soon!
