A Fanciful Twist

Of Botanicals and an Autumnal Country House Window

Greetings from the country house.

My little window shelf is full of whatever I can find in the garden right now.

The botanical bits and bobs made me so happy, that I have kept refilling them.

Eucalyptus and a few roses.

A bit blurry, but I am offering you phone pics today whilst testing my new computer here in the country.

At the beginning of the pandemic I decided to create my office at house 2.

But I still have my original office at the country house, which I call house 1.

I was just in need of a new computer here, so here I am.

This little window is in the little kitchenette between my office and my studio.

It makes me so happy.

I can see out to the back, and even get a little peek of the tiny cottage out to the left.

Pomegranates are all ready and some even cracked open.

The light is changing, and the mornings are definitely getting cooler up here in the mountain.

Baby Poppy is napping right behind me as I type to you.

I had to snap this photo because she sleeps with her arms turned out so curiously.

She's just such a sweet and sassy little girl.

I'm sorry about the odd phone pics, but I don't have my fancy camera with me, as I have been away.

I came directly to the country house upon my return from out of town.

As you may know, 7/8 years ago we added a second house to the mix.

So, now we live at two places and go back and forth every day, as they are close to each other.

The country house is our love letter to rustic cottage and creative living and has been our home for over 25 years.

House two was just a really interesting curious place that came our way, that we purchased at the perfect time.

One day we would like to build a new cottage at the country house, but we will chat more about that on another day.

For today, I shall share where I have been for the last week.

In all honesty, it was a very challenging week.

I traveled to our family home.

I went through all my dad's things and chose everything I wanted to keep.

Everyone got to choose what they wanted, and at the end my mom gave me my dad's wedding band.

It fits me perfectly on my third finger and I have not taken it off since receiving it.

In the midst of all of that, I got severely ill from my allergies, in dealing with dusty things on super high shelves and such.

My mom keeps an immaculate house, but the super high shelves in dad's closet were dusty.

Over the last 3 years I have become alarmingly allergic to household dust.

To the point that my eyes swell up and I sneeze for 3 days in utter misery, even with allergy medication.

It's truly debilitating.

As a child I had severe allergies to almost everything outdoors.

And so, my parents took me to an allergist at 8 years old, so that I could have a normal life.

I received 4 shots on each arm, twice a week, until I was 18.

Thanks to my mom for making that happen, because I can now have a garden and dogs.

Alas, I must return to the allergist because the dust thing has become more serious.

Are you allergic to anything?

Both of my parents have allergies, so I suppose dna got me there.

Aside from that, it was nice to be at the family home and we accomplished some huge projects.

I did really well doing the projects and such.

But upon returning home I did feel sadder than ever.

It comes in waves, and I am certain it will for a very long time.

But I do also feel happy and creative at times.

Then I think about my dad, and things take a detour.

He was one of my best friends, I miss our daily chats terribly.

I listen to our favorite music from Somewhere in Time, John Barry.

And other artists such as Neil Diamond, Luis Miguel, Andrea Bocelli, etc.

The most random thing happened the other day.

My phone pinged with a notification from YouTube offering me a video.

I opened it and it was the song My Way by Frank Sinatra.

And I thought...

Ok, Dad.

I hear you.

You know, the end is never easy.

You want so badly to take away any suffering or pain the person you loved went through.

I think that is the hardest part.

How to find peace in those feelings.

I'm just living my day to day life, with tears and smiles all along the way.

It's just the way it's going to be.

It's all very unbelievable at times as well.

You think you'll have your parents for so much longer.

You think there is another day, another tomorrow.

You never expect the unexpected.

I have buckets of wonderful memories.

I hold on to them and just move each day, one step at a time.

Painting, gardening and dogs are the joy of my life.

Nothing is guaranteed.

Each day must be lived to the fullest possible.

For me, that's cuddling with Teddy and Poppy and putting paint on the palette.

Watering my plants, pinching fragrant leaves.

Watch clouds go by, enjoy it all.

Enjoy anything beautiful around you.

Sky, rain, breeze, music.

Embrace it.

In all of this I have learned, only the very simple things truly matter.

I knew this, but now it has been proven to me.

All that matters is that you find some sort of joy in your life.

That you look up and see all that nature has to offer.

In the end, you can not take anything with you.

Your journey and your experience become the most valuable thing you ever had.

So, make the experience as lovely as you can.

It's the greatest treasure you will ever behold.

Your journey.

Your joy.

The good and the difficult.

All of it.

Your journey is all yours, it's your greatest most meaningful thing.

The bees, the flowers, a hug from someone you love.

Your family of pets and humans.

Music, creativity, a cup of tea in a garden chair.

Those are the things that truly matter.

All your collections of those little things are the most invaluable of riches.

They are the richness of your life.

 

See you soon

Love, Vanessa

 

 

 

 

Hello September {Cozy days at Teddy's House}

Inviting you in for a cozy simple day in our home.

Perhaps a cup of tea and a biscuit?

If you are visiting, be certain that Teddy will be sitting on your lap for most of the time.

Offering you endless hugs and resting his head on your chest.

That's our Teddy.

Pure Love.

He puts up with Poppy's surprise wrestle matches and gives her every toy and treat that he might have in his mouth.

I can't believe I have these two sweet dogs.

I am so eternally grateful for them in my life, they bring me so much joy and really help me get through these tough days.

Them and going into the garden, so good for my little heart.

Truth be told, I'm up and down in my emotions.

Sadness grips you unexpectedly it seems.

You can be hanging a piece of art and then whamo, super sad, crying in bed.

Luckily the dogs then jump on me and are such bundles of joy, I just hug them madly.

I encourage myself to make things from the garden goods.

So, I made another batch of pesto.

The last batch I made was such a hit, it was gone in a day, although I did manage to freeze a little.

Nothing really says summer like basil.

Look at that little sweet face, by my side as I sorted basil leaves.

Poppy is such a loveable joy.

Sometimes I can't believe I have two sweet and loveable dogs.

Poppy sleeps glued to my side at night.

The oddest thing, she has sooo many of Matty's habits and traits.

It really surprises us so much.

It's like she has always been here.

She even knows how to open doors just like he did, and she's known from the very beginning.

Teddy sleeps at my feet, or drapes himself over me, until he gets too hot and goes to the floor to cool off.

I bought these curious little bundles of flowers at Trader Joe's before my mom went back to her house.

We spent our summer in Scottsdale, near my dad's medical care.

My avocado trees got a little taxed while I was away, as my helper forgot to water them.

I think they will come back though.

When my mom and I returned to my house (from being out of town), I told her we had to try to do a few happy things.

So, we bought flowers and treats before she headed an hour and a half away to her house.

It's a little bit hard to go from being super busy, racing around freeways and rented houses.

Being with my mom all day every day.

To now, being back at home and really processing everything that has happened.

I'm drying more flower bundles.

Going for walks with Poppy.

Teddy goes for his walks with Irishman because he's too strong and wild on walks.

I've found out that Poppy does not like other dogs.

Hopefully she will outgrow that in the future.

But she makes up for it by loving all people.

I've never met a dog who loves people as much as Poppy does.

Teddy does too, although he will act fierce sometimes.

Mister Lovee took care of them wonderfully all summer.

They adore him and see him as dad.

Anywho...

It's been nice and odd to try to refind myself in my two homes, and in my own life, after such a harrowing few months.

The pesto was good though, so we have that.

I never use a recipe, I just make it all to taste.

I sit outside, watching all the beautiful butterflies and yellow-bellied finches.

The yellow guys love to steal zinnia seeds before they are ready.

And of course, they are wild about the sunflowers going to seed.

I'm just taking deep breaths.

Loving on dogs and admiring winged creatures.

I thought I had done so well all summer.

We were so crazy busy being by dad's side, renting houses, moving around.

I thought I was doing so great, which at the time I was, but I think I was also very numb.

My brain's coping skill to get through this very arduous summer I suppose.

A few days ago the numbness lifted, and I felt more in disbelief.

So raw and sad, I almost panicked.

Did this really happen, is my dear dad really gone?

Normal feelings in the stages of grief.

It will take time, I know.

Even typing this feels surreal.

My strong dad, caretaker of us all.

Gone.

I see now why he worked so hard to make me wildly independent.

Ever since I was a little girl, he's been pushing me to be so strong.

And he succeeded in so many ways.

I can fix almost anything, I try everything that I'm curious about.

I know to pray, to feel, to go through the fire in order to come out the other side.

I know you are growing when you are in pain, even if you can't see it at the time.

I am in that space of accepting reality.

I feel joy and sorrow all at once.

Everyone tells you how short life is, gosh is it ever.

That's why it's important to try to enjoy each day as best as you can.

Look up at the sky, watch the clouds and the creatures.

There is strength in vulnerability.

But you don't always have to be strong, and you shouldn't.

Just allow yourself to feel what you need to feel.

Remember, the person you lost loved you so much and would want to see you smile.

They want the absolute very best for you, and more.

They would want you to know that they are okay, and they are still loving you from beyond the galaxy.

I know beyond anything else, that my dad would want me to thrive.

He would say, my love, life is very short.

Do all the things that bring you joy, do everything you want to do in life.

Paint, dance, sing, play with your dogs, live it all up.

Go go go, don't sit here and wallow.

Gooooo!

He would always push us to get up and go.

Don't sit here and cry, but keep living.

Don't be afraid.

So many wonderful things are there for you.

Grab them.

That's what he would say.

That is what he is saying.

And, I believe him.

 

Love, V

 

 

 

 

The Summer I said Good-Bye...

Farewell August.

Farewell dear lovely dad.

After a very unexpected illness and long arduous summer, things were looking up.

Dad was getting better.

I sat by his bedside giving him a manicure, laughing, listening to music.

He kept rubbing my cheek, telling me he loved my smile.

"I love that smile..."

We watched the beautiful sunset and hugged.

I left and returned to hug him again before leaving a second time.

A few days later, all of a sudden, he took a turn for the worst.

I was by his side right until his last breath.

Holding his hand, not wanting to let go.

All I can hope is that he is in a wonderful, beautiful place.

Healthy and young again.

He always loved the scent of the garden.

He would stand in my garden and say, this is unbelievable, and the scent is unreal.

I never understood my deep calling and need to grow a garden since I was 19.

But I know that it has taught me so much and held me in the most difficult times.

Sunshine, birds, butterflies, clouds, petals.

It's been my way to get through anything in life for the last 25+ years.

I was away in another city renting houses and hotels all summer.

Trying to be near my dad at all times as he was getting care in another city.

When I would come home for a few days I would take photos of my garden and then leave my camera behind.

I had not looked at any of the photos until today.

Summer feels like a blur, and now August has come to an end.

Today I will share some of the images preserved by my camera, of the place I go that holds my heart.

It's hard to believe that my dad is gone.

Although, much like when Matty died, I still feel my dad around me.

I do not feel an emptiness within.

I am sad that I will not speak to him every day on the telephone, like we were accustomed to doing.

But I'm still speaking to him out loud, and I hope he can hear me.

He was so excited to meet little Poppy.

He loved the videos and photos I would share with him.

Alas, he never did get to.

I talked to him about everything going on in the garden.

About what the weather was like.

We listened to all of our favorite songs.

We had our song, and a few close others that we loved.

It was my pleasure to be by his side during such a hard time.

I understand that none of us can stay here forever.

But I am very sad that he had to get ill and go through all of that.

That is what pains me the most.

He was a practical man, filled with sayings and mottos.

I have buckets of sayings told to me from birth that I will remember fondly.

In fact, many of them have helped me throughout life.

My dad would definitely not want me to sit around sobbing all day.

I can hear him so clearly.

He would likely say, stop crying, let's go, you have so many things to do in life.

Do them all, do everything you want to do, never give up on your dreams.

I have moments of peace as well as moments of disbelief that all of this has transpired.

My heart aches.

I am certain the grieving process is all about this and more.

Emotions will ebb and flow when least expected.

One minute you are laughing and the next, you are reduced to a puddle, crying in a corner.

From the day I can remember, my dad has been pushing me to be brave and strong.

But still laugh and cry each day, and always allow yourself to feel your emotions.

(my dad had given Teddy that racoon and now Poppy has taken it as her own and loves it)

I feel that at no other time in my life would I have been able to lose my dad.

I was not ready for such a profound loss.

But with age I have become stronger and wiser.

Although I am totally heartbroken, I feel able to cope (albeit difficult) in a way that I never would have been able to when I was younger.

I have learned so much about life.

With the passing of time, I have lost friends and my dear beloved dogs as well.

I have learned so much about loss, and about how those you love can stay with you, in your heart forever.

You never have to let go, you can hold them dear and love them forever, even if you can not see them.

Poppy grew so much this summer.

Gosh, my dad would have loved her.

There are times I feel strong and others I just have to sob.

But right now, I don't feel my dad is gone.

I feel him by my side.

And for that I am grateful.

He is all around.

In golden hour, in rain drops, in sunsets, in the breeze...

And now it's time to make my apple jam.

Which I had told him all about.

I am eternally thankful to the garden.

I am thankful for all the work it requires and all the endless gifts it gives in return.

I am so grateful to have a place to go to be busy, to have hope, to watch beauty flutter all around me.

Yesterday monarchs flew all around us, bouncing into each other, and flying all around Poppy and Teddy.

Poppy was mesmerized.

I have to tell you...

I had written an entire post an hour ago and hit something with my pinky and lost the entire text.

No photos, just text.

I could not retrieve it with the "restore content" option.

It was the oddest thing.

So, I decided not to get upset and go outside for a break.

Just then, there was a clap of thunder, and it started pouring rain.

The sun was shining low through some clouds and purple and pink light illuminated my face through the rain.

It was some sort of magical golden hour, mixed with rain.

I knew what that meant.

I would have never gone out to see it if I hadn't lost my post.

I felt my dad there in that moment.

So, I rewrote my entire post.

Everything came out differently, but just as it should.

 

I thought I would have my dad in my life until he was at least 86.

He died on August 24, 2024 at the age of 76.

He had been fit, energetic, running his business, being his loud bossy self that I adored.

He was healthy, took care of himself and had me convinced he'd be around forever.

Life is so unpredictable and totally out of our control.

I have completely accepted that.

I will miss my dad until my last day.

I will cherish my dear beautiful mom who has been by my side through all of this.

My brother and sister have also gone through a lot, but it is not my place to speak of their grieving.

I just wanted to stop in and share about where I have been all summer.

About my sad little heart.

And to properly say Farewell to August and to my father and best friend, Ray Valencia.

A dad who will continue to live on in my heart through his sayings and continue to teach me things.

Because I know exactly what he would think or say to any question I have in life.

And perhaps, that is the greatest gift of all.

A gift that can never be taken away.

"No one loves you better than your dad..."

His saying to me since I was a child.

Every card, every conversation...

I know that to be true.

I have always felt very loved.

My loyal guardian and guide.

Ray Valencia.

Love you forever dad.

♥

 

One of our songs, which he used to sing to me as a little girl, and stuck with us all these years.

Funny but true.

The movie had just come out with Dudley Moore and he just loved this song.

Arthur's Theme by Christopher Cross

 

 

Of August Tea-Time & Sisters

The loveliest little mornings...

With my sister who is visiting me for several days.

I have always loved my sister.

We laugh at the same things and understand one another in a way no one else can.

It's only as you get older though, that you come to truly appreciate your sister.

You understand what your parents meant when they would say, one day you will thank us and understand why we gave you a sister.

You will have each other for all the ups and downs of life.

There is no one in the world who understands me and knows me like my sister, because we journeyed through life from almost the very beginning, together.

We were so different as children, but somehow, the older we get the more we become alike.

We have grown to respect and admire each other.

To need one another.

And now, we can only thank our parents.

We laugh together like no one I have ever laughed with.

The other evening, we laughed so much I had to lay on the floor and roll on my back, begging her to stop making me laugh.

I will never forget those moments.

I am a little over five years older than my sister.

I was a tween in the late 80's, and everything I loved influenced my sister.

From music, to movies, style and more.

This is a wonderful thing because we both get nostalgic listening to the same music, and we have wonderful college memories because we lived together.

Even though at the time we didn't realize it...

We were forging the most beautiful memory bank and friendship.

Now we have grown to have mutual respect and admiration for one another.

She loves my dogs like they are her own, she asks me gardening questions, we go antiquing and gravitate towards the same treasures where she often allows me to have the best treasure, even if she discovers it first.

We cook and bake and craft together, and we watch movies galore.

We go together with hats on, into the garden with all of our tea accoutrements.

We sit and giggle and chat.

Although we are older, with her I still feel 18, as long as we are together, we are ageless.

It's funny how that can happen.

I am so glad I have a sister and that our relationship has flourished with age.

In the words of Jo March...

I could never love anyone as I love my sister.

We have been having so much fun with our tea parties and midnight movies.

Teddy loves her beyond measure and just wants to sit on her lap.

I flip through books as the comforting sound of her embroidery needle goes through the fabric in her hoop.

Me, my sister and Teddy are having way too much fun together.

I should thank my parents, like they said I would one day.

 

Clink clink to you on fancy teacups friends!

Do you have a lovely sibling story?

We will continue our delightful shenanigans for a few more days.

The rain is here and rainbows and pink skies are happening every day.

I love monsoon season where the desert meets the forest.

 

I hope you are more than well.

See you soon!

I must go check on Teddy and my sister now.

 

Love, 

Vanessa

 

 

ps: The most giant rainbow yesterday...

Until we Meet Again {A Tale About a Life Well Lived}

This is a story about a boy who lived life to its fullest.

I have emerged from my grief with tear-salt raw face, to share with you a truly beautiful story about a sweet Matty dog.

Who I'm very sad to say, has left us.

I held him in my arms until his last breath, telling him what a good boy he was and how much I loved him.

Kissing him on the top of the head many times, as I always did.

And although he passed, I feel he never left.

I can feel him with me still.

Not because he isn't free to cross over, but because he knows it's okay, if he wants to stay by my side.

Matty (Matisse) was my guardian and protector for 13 years and 9 months.

Even though he had lost most of his sight and hearing towards the end, and was dealing with horrible cancer in his face, he followed me around until the last second.

When I was working in the garden, he was positioned at the top of the porch stairs, where he always sat on duty for the whole of his life.

Even up until the night before his passing, as seen in his photo that I captured below, he was at his post and on duty.

As I have been walking through the garden paths, talking myself through my grief and allowing clarity to guide me...

The one thing I am certain of, is that Matty lived a good and absolutely full life.

He came to us as a traumatized and ferociously mean little puppy.

Albeit, utterly adorable.

(The day we rescued him)

The world terrified him, and he reacted with distrust and aggression.

I decided on the very day that we rescued him, that I was all in, and ardently determined to teach him that love exists.

I gave him his space, and I was more patient with him, than with anyone or anything in my entire life.

He felt safest with Mister Lovee from the beginning, but over time morphed into being my personal bodyguard.

When we first brought him home, it took him nearly a month to bark and show us that he had a voice.

And then, another 3 years of patience and coaxing to get him to go down a flight of stairs or be hugged.

But I knew that deep down he was tender and craving connection.

Once, when he was a puppy, there was a pack of coyotes howling nearby, and he was so scared that he jumped up for me to pick him up, and I did.

After a few moments he realized we were too close, and he sprung out of my arms.

At that moment I knew I was more in love with him than I could ever be, and that one day he would let me kiss and hug him without running away.

Slowly but surely, he became the protector of our world, from atop his porch steps.

We enjoyed 14 springs and 13 summers together.

We grew gardens every year, exploring our giant pumpkin patches...

And I think, growing closer and closer.

I worked hard, and he watched, protecting me.

Always guarding me.

And soon, we were sitting in the verbena together.

Rolling in early spring green...

Side by side, but not too close.

Over the years, daily hugs and forehead kisses became our language.

He got to meet our first dog Baby and spent one year with her before she died.

Matty adored her, and I think saw her as his mother.

She was the one who taught me about this deep magical dog love that I never knew existed.

She cracked my heart wide open and made me the best dog mom I could ever be, based solely on love and compassion.

Before Baby, I never understood the vast depth of meaning in unconditional dog love.

She opened my eyes to it.

She gave me the knowledge of how to raise Matty.

He really grieved for Baby when she died, in a way I'll never forget.

Once day we decided to get Matty a little brother.

The puppy was a little golden retriever we called Miles.

(story about Miles' first day home, here)

Matty and Miles loved each other and had a ball running around chasing each other and wrestling.

Miles had a beautiful personality and unfortunately became epileptic, which I think Matty understood.

He even allowed Miles into his secret bed under the porch table.

Quite unbelievable.

Matty was so dedicated and loyal, and on duty 24/7.

He could hear anything, even in the far distance, and nothing was getting past him.

He loved his perch on the top front porch step...

Surrounded by flowers and birds of all kinds.

He absorbed and lived every second of his life.

Running like mad, playing in the rain, chasing rabbits.

Eating really good home cooked meals.

But most importantly, protecting me.

I gave him 13 years of my life.

And he gave me his entire life.

We were inseparable, he was my shadow.

Wherever I was, is where he wanted to be.

He knew how to open all the doors in the house and would find me no matter where I was.

As things usually happen...

Over the years he really began to soften.

He let me hug and kiss him.

And even though he refused to sleep in my bed, on a couple of rare occasions in winter, I would find him tucked tight into my legs in the morning, right on top of my bed.

As soon as I would wake up, he would leave.

We started going everywhere together, and he was my front passenger.

Eventually feeling comfortable enough to just nap as I drove.

We had a rhythm and a beautiful full life together.

We even began hugging several times a day.

When I was watering the garden he would always sneak up from behind my left side, sometimes startling me.

He would lean on my left leg, letting me know he was there.

I loved when he did that and I would stop to pet and hug him, and give him a little back rub.

He survived valley fever several years ago.

After which, he really wasn't the spunky guy who would play with Miles.

A few years later Miles died at the age of 10.

Matty and I went on walks, and bonded even more deeply after Miles was gone.

(post about Miles' passing)

As strong as Matty was, he had the most gentle paw shake, and delicate paws that he kept meticulously groomed.

There are so many details I could go on and on about.

Like how Matty thought our young Teddy was annoying, but still loved running around the yard with him.

(post about the day we brought Teddy home)

And about how, Matty eventually loved 4 humans the most, and let a select couple come into the house.

But mostly, it was he and me, and we loved being in the garden together.

He always found the best look out spot depending on where we were.

He even alerted me to a rattlesnake I almost stepped on last year.

I am lost without my fierce warrior to protect me.

I will somehow have to find my own way.

This was Matty on the porch the night before he died.

It was time, he had lived the fullest life.

He was in pain and struggling with the terminal squamous cell cancer growing so quickly in his face.

He had the most beautiful weekend and morning before his passing.

It was peaceful, and the most beautiful blue-sky day.

With butterflies flying around us as he died in the verbena patch where Miles is buried.

I held him in my arms until his last breath.

We had a lovely procession to his grave right beside Baby, which Mister Lovee prepared and organized.

Two men and a dog lowered Matty into his grave, I picked flowers around the garden.

I put a solar light on his grave, that I could see all night in the distance from my bed.

I knew it was his time to go, but the pain still gets you.

Deep loss has such vast pain attached to it.

Matty left the garden peacefully, dying at home with love and dignity.

He deserved every bit of it, after his service to our little family.

There will never be another Matty.

It was years of creating that bond that we had.

Working through all his quirks and trust issues until we formed a beautiful alliance.

He was unique, one of a kind.

I had to learn to respect his space and go at his pace, which really changed me as a person, for the better.

Imagine the irony of me thinking that I was going to teach him that love existed, when really, he was the one that taught me.

An animal is not just your pet...

An animal is "a someone" that you love.

That you spend more time with than anyone.

You cultivate a life together and are often closer than you are with any other being.

This is why losing them hurts so much.

You feel as though you have also lost a part of yourself.

That the meaning of your life has changed, and that time has slipped through your fingers.

If you have been lucky enough to love in such a way, then you will undoubtedly feel the pain of loss that I speak of.

If you feel the love that leads to such vast pain, then you know that they have lived a wonderful life by your side.

That is what you must remember when searching for peace in the well of grief.

And that must be where the healing begins.

Matty had a great life by my side, and I had a great 13 years with him by my side.

He lived his life to the fullest, and now I must miss him.

I worked in the garden last night and began to feel a sense of peace again.

A glimmer of peace.

I have wonderful Teddy and people to love.

Matty wouldn't want me staying inside and crying in a corner.

(Even though I still might for a little while)

He would want me outside, sniffing rosemary, listening to distant animal sounds, watching out for unknown cars, and chasing rabbits, even though we will never catch any.

He would want me to sit on the top step of the porch, with my eyes closed and my nose in the air, waiting for the scent of monsoon season to begin.

He would want me to leave footprints in the snow and run through rain puddles.

He would want me to drive in the car to wonderful places and go on sunset walks, sniffing the desert in pure bliss.

He would want me to live my life to the fullest.

A life well lived, just like his.

 

Nothing more, nothing less.

 

Matty (Matisse) Valencia

September 1, 2009 - June 12, 2023

 

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

 

 

 

Sky Full of Stars by Coldplay.

Performed by Mother's Daughter <3

 

 

Wisteria Days & the Twists of Life

Hello lovely friends.

Writing to you from where the desert meets the forest.

Sitting under a canopy of wisteria, with my hair dancing in the breeze.

I collect buckets of these lovely lavender cascades and set them where the beautiful blue paint peels ever so perfectly.

It's been a wildly floriferous spring, as we move into summer, with unusually mild June weather.

The boys explore the scent of endless bunnies that are born in our garden every year.

Bunnies in giant rosemary bushes and hidden nests of bunny kittens, made of fallen wisteria petals.

Luckily my boys never capture any, so there is peace and safety for endless bunnies to grow up here.

Spring has been incredibly beautiful, but as life is wont to do, it threw in a bit of an unexpected twist, which is why you have not seen me for a few weeks.

I've been spending every moment with my Matty dog, who was diagnosed with aggressive cancer and given 6 weeks to live.

He is in his very last days now, and because it has been too painful to discuss, I've really just spent my time in the garden with him, administering many pills a day and living in the moment.

We have had lovely guests that he accepted, which is very unlike him, so that has made things easier.

I can't imagine life without him, as he's been by my side for 13 years, always protecting me.

He has been the best companion, guard-dog and love.

I make wishes for his painless departure on dandelions.

Is it just me, or are there swans hiding in this dandelion?

It's really something, how there can be so much beauty all around you, mixed with so much sadness.

It's been the most beautiful incredible spring.

I am so thankful for that.

I spend mornings collecting flowers and love taking time to sit in my second wagon (which I've owed you a post about for a long while).

I dream about the renovations, but love the peeling blue paint too much.

I spot a lone lavender poppy...

That takes my breath away.

With petals like paper art, purple and green perfection.

I pet furry quince leaves...

And hide under the gigantic climbing roses.

I always dreamed of roses that would absolutely gobble up my little gallery.

It's when you work towards your dream, but then forget about it, that a sort of magic brews.

Then one day, you notice it and gasp.

Roses have definitely gobbled up my tiny gallery, where I've hosted many art shows during our local art tours.

It's a wild fairy tale dream to me.

I am definitely a lover of untidy gardens and hidden nooks and crannies under natural arbors.

The bees are in full symphony over the poppies.

Sometimes 5 or 6 bees fighting to dive in.

All shades of reds and pinks have decorated the entire garden.

Poppies and wisteria are a perfect combination.

I continually hunt for those furry white bobs, to blow my wishes through.

Pondering over a cup of tea and a bucket of blooms...

Hoping for good, always.

The wonderful lessons of my journey, and getting older, have been that I have learned to accept the combination of beauty and sorrow.

To be in the moment enough to be able to enjoy the very now in time.

To be able to live in a beautiful moment, despite what is going on around me.

Of course, there may be tears, even in beautiful moments.

It's a sense of accepting and embracing simultaneously.

Allowing yourself to feel every emotion.

And not losing sight of the beauty of nature all around, that will hold you and guide you if you allow it.

Days turn into lovely evenings under fairy lit trees.

With music wafting about.

All the orchestral night sounds, performing in unison.

This morning I walked around the country house garden paths with the boys.

Admiring all the new coneflowers (echinacea), and watching little pumpkin sprouts get strong.

Teddy is dragging a 7 foot log so fast and furiously, I had to jump out of his way as he bolted by.

I watered the verbena patch, and am delighted that the main entrance rose arbor (that collapsed in a 2020 monsoon and had to be cut back) is finally filling out over its new arbor, as we train each cane.

I cleaned the entire country house kitchen yesterday and made summer salads.

The country house brings me such vast joy.

Mister Lovee has been digging a new grave right next to Baby.

I see him out the back window, as I know Matty will join Baby and Miles very soon.

What an incredible beautiful life, I'm so thankful beyond measure to have known them all.

Some of my greatest loves have been these beautiful dogs.

I never knew I would grow up to be a crazy dog lady one day.

But I'm eternally grateful for it, and how it happened serendipitously, when I wasn't even planning it.

On that day I met Baby over 20 years ago.

Ah well, memories.

I can smell French toast on the cast iron skillet.

A cup of lemon ginger tea is calling my name, so I must say farewell for now.

I'm sorry I was away for a few weeks.

I never intend to go for so long.

Alas, life happens.

I have spent every morsel with my Matty, hugging his warm little self tight.

I hope you are well in your neck of the woods.

Maybe we could all light a candle in the window of our fairy tale mushroom houses, deep in the woods, illuminating the path and bidding a safe passage to Matty, as he makes his way to where Baby and Miles await him.

 

🖤

 

 

 

I've been listing to this beautiful song.

It always comes up in my Pandora playlist, and it played today as I wrote this post.

Prayer Changes everything by Mark McKenzie.

 

 

Painting Giant Flowers in the Garden

There are a few places where you might find me on these beautiful spring days...

But undoubtedly, all those places are most likely different nooks in the garden.

Painting outside, at the height of spring, is some kind of dream.

With roses and poppies unfurling at the speed of light, you simply do not want to miss a drop of time in the garden.

Bees and pollen and beautiful light are sure to be found in abundance.

But nothing can prepare you for the intoxicatingly glorious scent of the air.

Fragrant dizzying rose scent wafts about, only to be outdone by the ridiculously aromatic honeysuckle.

It's no wonder that I have been enticed to complete my giant flower painting outside.

If you think about it, the flowers are actually this big in bee land.

Imagine, how gigantic the insects must find all the blossoms?!

And so, because I can not fathom the idea of not being a part of the magical garden days...

I find the perfect spot at golden hour, when evening light is the best for painting in.

I grab a cup of peppermint tea and situate myself at the top of the hill, in front of the first blue arbor (as there are two), just above the citrus grove.

The mixture of Pierre de Ronsard and Pearly Gates roses are just blooming over the arbor, and I wished someone could just pinch me to remind me it's all real.

I am sure you feel the same way, when the roses start to bloom?

I inspect them, admiring the layers of petals in sheer disbelief and awe.

After all these years of gardening, you'd think I'd be used to them.

But no, every flush of blooms takes my breath away as though I had never seen them before.

Funny how that happens.

The lavender ones below are the most fragrant, completely knocking your socks off.

So, I set them by my side as I put the finishing touches on my painting.

Giant hydrangeas are my favorite to paint, I think.

Although, I do love painting bees...

Or perhaps it's the flicking of the pollen onto the canvas at the end that feels so dangerous and exciting?

Imagine, standing before a fully completed painting, and then flicking paint wildly at it.

How wonderfully exhilarating.

Good thing it all went okay :-)

I take breaks to visit the Collette's...

I sit to admire the neon pink paint brush wash potion, sitting next to exquisite petals.

The last glow of golden hour flickers through the trees...

Sending flashes of light through, to illuminate my painting here and there.

In truth, the painting was made for my sister, to hang above the bed she sleeps in when she visits me.

I love having her over, it's so much fun to have a sister that you enjoy.

We laugh and sing and speak with different accents.

Probably keeping certain accents going for too long, but we just continue as though we have morphed into different people.

We jump onto each other's nonsense bandwagon, different British accents flying around.

Then we turn up the music and sing.

Or we could be silently sitting in the conservatory, and I start humming a certain tune, and then we both begin belting out the tune together.

It's just a hoot.

We bake, we cook, we go shopping for books and plants and a new pool for Teddy.

I made her a custom Blythe doll.

Two grown women, washing doll hair in the sink, because it is our norm.

We stroll through the garden in the morning, watching poppies unfurl and admiring all the birds.

Cardinals chasing each other, and a mama hummingbird sitting on two eggs in a thimble sized nest.

I could go on and on about out tea parties and trimming hair and making elderflower cocktails.

But the best part is how she loves my dogs and wanted to spend time with Matisse (Matty) as he is entering the end of his journey.

It's heart wrenching to be certain, but then there is Teddy making us all laugh and insisting on sitting on your lap.

We let him get away with all manner of insanity and laugh about it.

It's where we are in life, when you arrive at the knowing place, of what matters and what doesn't.

Of what is important and what isn't.

My sister lost her dog of 16 years in 2020 when I lost Miles.

When you arrive at a certain age, with certain wisdom and life-happenings, everything looks different.

Everything matters, everything is more beautiful, everything is everything.

You understand life differently.

And so, you let a 90lb Teddy sit on your lap and smother you with love.

We took turns of course, but Teddy is enamored beyond compare with my sister.

They were attached the whole time.

Enjoying my garden and painting is my sanity, Matty is by my side today.

Every day counts more than ever right now.

That is the tale I have for you today, as I write from where the desert meets the forest.

I hope you are doing exceedingly well in your neck of the woods.

What I mean by that is, perhaps you are eating a cupcake under an apple tree.

Or something marvelously wonderful like that.

 

Well, I must run for now. 

I promise to return soon.

 

Lot of Love, 

Vanessa

 

 

 

Of January Blossoms, Winter Light & 16 Years

And then it was January...

With found garden roses, right before a wild winter storm.

Cloudy light and chilly air make roses very happy.

I pick my blossoms and reflect upon time.

How have I been writing this blog for 16 years?

So much has changed, and yet everything is the same.

As I type that last sentence I realize, not much has changed really.

Because everything is the same, but with added elements that have enhanced life in so many ways.

I pick these flowers and can almost not believe that I built a whole new garden here over the last 6 years.

(And a hidden secret garden, behind that garden, over the last 3 years.)

That was after building a garden at the country house for 22 years, which is mature and doing well.

To say that I love to garden is a huge understatement, obviously, haha.

I am always amazed that the roses are doing so well, and that some even last through winter.

But even more amazing, is that for the last 13 years, the guy below has been by my side.

Right beneath me, every single move I make.

Matty (Matisse), ferocious little guardian.

He has known all the dogs.

Baby, Miles and now Teddy.

I suppose January can be a month of reflection.

I go into the chilly garden and let out the tiniest happy sigh when I see a Katydid on the roses.

I am, in the deepest part of my heart, in my pretend world, and entomologist and horticulturist.

The vastest calling of my soul is to plant seeds and cultivate gardens, whilst marveling at all the tiny creatures.

I have a really tender love for the winter garden.

Everything seems quiet and sleeping, but if you kneel down you will see, all the microscopic sprouts of early spring pushing through the ground.

The rosemary Christmas trees await their new place in the garden

Birds hunt for seeds.

Teddy tries to steal a giant chicken wire cloche.

Everything is a plaything to him.

There are hidden fairy tale pumpkins still in the garden,

Teddy loves to eat pumpkin and assorted squash (of course pumpkin is squash) whilst I tend to my plants.

When I ask him to please, not eat that particular pumpkin, he squints his eyes.

Sheepishly telling me that I am mis-accusing him with his expression alone.

He and Matty love to rest in the giant arugula (roquette) plants.

The scientific name for a rose is Rosa.

And so, I bring in the wonderful winter Rosas, and place them with the other growing things that get to live in the big sunlit window.

I am utterly thankful for roses in winter.

And the beauty of grey cloudy dappled sunlight.

On this loveliest of January day.

Cheers with teacups to this New Year friends.

I feel lucky to get to sit here typing to you in the 16th year of my blog.

I started my blog after Christmas in 2006, on the 27th of December.

I was so eager and excited, and felt that I had sooo much to tell and share.

Luckily my archives exist, up in the navigation bar, where all those posts still live.

I feel like that same happy go lucky girl, but wiser and with a lot more gratitude.

I've always had gratitude a plenty, but life levels that up even more, with all of its ups and downs.

I have a very quiet and peaceful life, and I spend my time between the country house and house 2.

My life is full every day with tending garden, my dogs, creating, filling shop orders, painting, cooking, and all manner of other interests I have.

With so many others that I would love to do, I especially love writing.

On new year's eve Teddy and Mister Lovee went to bed super early at the country house.

The Irishman, Matty and me spent the night in the tiny cottage down the garden path from the main house.

We read fairy tales and ate chocolate, and even though I am not a chocolate lover, I had the white chocolate one with raspberry inside.

At midnight, the 80's band called Breathe was playing on Pandora, and we danced.

Then we bundled up and walked around the garden path, listening to and watching people's fireworks in the distance.

It was a delightful way to go into the new year.

At around 45 minutes after midnight, a wild beyond words, storm rolled in.

It whipped buckets and buckets of rain for 2 days straight, with wind that made it rain sideways.

Someone's gazebo even ended up in our yard.

Often the rain was so strong I couldn't even see through the garden.

I love our wild winter rains because I know those poppy seeds are getting the cold they need to germinate.

After I am done typing I am actually going to go out searching for poppy seedlings, which I think I spied already.

It has been a joy to write to you here for 16 years.

To take photos and collect thoughts and ideas to type to you.

I know people say, blogs are over, how can you still write a blog?

But truly, I do not intend to go anywhere.

My blog is home.

I know I was blogging less for a time, and it was because I added a second house to the mix and needed to set up my life here.

But I feel really settled now, and I am enjoying writing my letters to you in the form of blog posts, as I always have.

From 2014 to 2019 all I wanted to do was go treasure hunting, and then more antiquing for the second house.

I had soooo much fun doing so.

I didn't want to sit at home, I wanted to be in those old library scented, quiet aisles of the antique store.

Then in 2020, with the need to stay home more, I decided to start a second big secret garden behind the formal garden at house 2 (as you know).

And that has led me to that more peaceful, stay at home creating art and growing seeds space, that is so familiar to the last 22 years of my life.

When we purchased house 2, I transplanted so many rose bushes (about 13 out of 56, that gophers were killing) from the country house, and worked feverishly on the sad built-in planters.

Now they look like they have always been here, filled with green.

I wonder what my next big project shall be?

I sort of feel something brewing, but I can't quite put my finger on it yet.

I can see it in my mind's eye, and it's filled with inspiration and joy...

I wonder what it is?

When I figure it out, I shall be sure to let you know first.

It seems I have gone down the path of digressing and babbling on and on.

So, I shall say, see you soon.

And clink with teacups to you, wishing you a lovely little year.

I truly hope that one or more of your wishes come true.

 

Lots of love, 

With thanks for your friendship in this curious virtual land for these 16 years.

Sincerely

Vanessa Valencia  ;-*

 

 

ps: Have you Seen the 2022 series called Julia on HBO max?

(About the life of Julia Child)

I thoroughly enjoyed it and found it so inspiring.

I laughed and cried and laughed.

I love anything about her though.

<3 <3 <3

 

 

 

Of Little Life Tales & Tails!

Hello Friends!

I'm not trying to be a ghost, I promise :-)

I thought I'd stop in really quick and say hello and give you a little update.

I know it's super annoying to visit someone and not see a post.

So, I'm popping in super quick to fill you in.

Oh and, here is my attempt at a crooked family photo, haha!

One wants no part of it.

The other is smiling.

I get them both to sit and one leaves, hee hee.

It's funny how Matty looks huge because he's pushed up close to my camera and Teddy is behind.

When really, Matty is half the size of Teddy.

Okay so, here is what has been going on in life.

I've had extra amounts of things on my plate lately.

Dogs, houses, gardens, endless responsibilities.

I decided last Thursday, in the midst of all my life chaos, to purge the disastrous closets.

You know, productive procrastination.

I delivered 6 gigantic bags to Good Will.

Then I had to do 4 days of real estate school, because that was my previous career, and you have to renew every 2 years or lose your license.

I graduated from the University of Arizona many years ago, however one summer during college, I wanted to not have to go home, so my parents said if you stay in Tucson for the summer, then you have to stay busy, so go to real estate school. (Are you allowed to use that many commas in a sentence?)

So, that's what I did.

After college I decided not to take a job out of the country with my degree and tried my hand at real estate instead, since I had my license and I had worked hard for it and all.

It was a lot of fun, and I met people I still adore.

It was a different time, the offices were busy and bustling, and people didn't really work from home.

Whereas now, no one is ever in the office, and offices are like ghost towns.

There was comradery, and cocktail hour, and you dressed up nice every day, and had lots of adventures.

It turned out to be very lucrative for me in my young years, as the market was great, and I collected all my doubloons and pretty much retired to do art full time at around 29/30 years old.

Previously, I had been always juggling a job, with trunk shows (jewelry) and art shows.

It was fun, I was young, but utter madness.

Then I started my blog in December 2006, and the rest is history I guess, or a continuing journey really.

The point of that story is to say that, even though I do not do much real estate, except for buying personal properties...

I keep my license in an international company and keep all my courses and fees up to date.

Why you ask?

Because you just never know about life's twists and turns, and why not, right?

So, I had to do my biennial renewal courses.

Finished at 3 a.m. today, woo hoo!

I also had an updated medical thing earlier this week.

And then, Teddy got sick.

All of this happened in one week and is still ongoing.

Teddy has some intestinal thing going on that has gotten worse.

So, we are going to an emergency vet appointment in 2 hours.

He is still happy and eating, but I've noticed things that alarmed me (if you know what I mean), so in we go.

That's my crazy life juggling two dogs, two houses, two gardens, and a partridge in a pear tree.

Not to mention a leprechaun and a mad hatter.

Haha!

So, as soon as my worry about Teddy calms down and I get some rest, I am plunging back into Halloweenie things.

I really wanted to get all my responsibilities dialed in before October 1st.

I really hope to enjoy one of my favorite months to the fullest.

 

I am utterly delighted that you enjoyed my last blog post and joined in the fun.

I saw the magazine at every store I went to a couple days ago, and that was beyond lovely.

Always fun to get published, puts a little flutter in your heart.

 

Well, I wish I could stay and chat for hours, which I easily could, but I must get myself ready to take Teddy in.

I hope you are doing just peachy.

I'll be back and let you know what happened tomorrow.

 

Lots of Love, 

 

Vanessa and Teddy, and Matty too 

<3 <3 <3

 

 

 

 

 

Summer Magic + Some Big Decisions & Thoughts

Hello friends!

I hope you are well in your neck of the woods, and that you are having a swell summer.

My summer is really in full swing right now...

With zinnias and cosmos becoming 4 feet tall and blooming like mad.

I've had so much fun bringing in blooms to place on shelves.

Foxgloves, yarrow, delicate soft pink Pearly Gates roses and a ballet slipper pink zinnia sure do make a girl like me happy.

And then, there's the rain...

We are having a very nice monsoon season, such delicious rainy days.

You never know which kind you will get, but last year was spectacular and this year is turning out to be quite lovely as well.

There is soft wild grass growing, pumpkin vines blowing up, trees growing super tall.

Nothing like real rain to feed the gardens.

Plus, endless rainbows.

This little window shelf does my heart so good.

Mister Lovee built it this spring, in the little kitchenette that is in my office

It's actually a very bright space, but the window back light makes for moody photos.

Which evokes the exact mood of the garden and rain swirled together.

Cozying up with a good book, or just looking out the window in bliss, makes me very happy in this little nook.

Listening to the tap tap tap of rain.

Plugging in the fairy lights and filling the mantel with garden findings really makes me feel a certain kind of joy.

I think it's the exercise in mindfulness of it all.

Taking the time to snip the flowers, put them in water...

Arrange them where you want them - it's honestly so relaxing.

It makes you slow down and enjoy your garden and the moment more deeply.

Giving the figurines some giant zinnia parasols for good measure.

And just enjoying the beauty that nature creates.

I've been taking these moments to really think about what I want out of life these days.

What is important to me, what I'd like to share in this virtual world.

I have definitely gotten carried away with the social media aspect of all of it...

Mainly because, everyone is moving so fast, few people take time to read blogs.

And it's a place to connect with your friends.

Although, I can't help but notice that everyone seems to just be scrolling quickly, looking at pictures and videos endlessly.

There is a lot of beauty to see, but it does move so fast, and there is sooo much of it, you almost become numb.

I've joined in the endless scrolling myself, and really immersed myself in the ins and outs of the social media world.

What I have found though, if I am being completely honest here, is not always a sense of fulfillment and inspiration, but more of a frantic deluge of visual stuff.

Buckets of it really.

And whilst I truly love the connections with my friends, because it's really the only way to connect and share these days...

I often find the endless stream of visual candy to be exhausting, if I'm being honest, as I said.

Of course, there is beauty to see and enjoy, but it can get overwhelming.

I love to share too though, so I suppose, just like anything, there are more than two sides to the complexity of it all.

In simpler terms - it's fun to share and look, but to an extent, does that make sense?

In an effort to mitigate this feeling of everything moving too quickly, I've been taking time to order books and sit and page through.

To hold a beautiful decor book in my hands, and quietly pore over each page.

To take a stack of magazines and lay on my sofa enjoying every morsel.

Instead of just scrolling mindlessly on my phone.

Social media moves so fast, you sometimes can't really even enjoy the beauty.

It can't fully sink in, because you see one thing after another, after another.

When vastly beautiful things, like a woman running through a field in a beautiful princess gown with an exquisite castle in the backdrop, becomes the norm, and you are not impressed or inspired by it, then you know something has gone awry.

I think what that thing is, if I even dare to say this...

Is a bit of an overload of beautiful things to see.

There's so much beauty that I think sometimes our brains don't even register it.

And so, for me, I've been taking the time to do more tangible things, for the own joy of my life.

To be more present, to fill little jars with water and flowers.

To take the time to do all the little beautiful things that fill my soul and make me feel good and well.

Of course, in the middle of those thoughts, I think about my blog, this space here that I hold so dear.

For a while it has seemed that blogging is relatively over.

However, it does not feel over in my heart, for a few reasons.

Mostly because it makes me slow down and enjoy my life's moments.

I take photos with my actual camera, it's a much slower type of virtual sharing.

And it really makes me so happy.

Curiously, I recently received a notification from Facebook stating that my account is considered gray and will be shut down on August 31, 2022.

I admittedly use Instagram a lot more than Facebook, and almost didn't care to lose my account.

But then I really started thinking about it, and my 4500 friends over there.

I have become increasingly sadder about losing it and have tried everything to try to save it.

I tried to post about what was going on, to let me friends know, but my posts get taken down by Facebook.

And so, this led me on a real heart to heart journey with myself about social media in general, and how it fits into my life.

What role I want it to play in my life, and the balance of my involvement in online activities.

I have seen so many people lose their Instagram accounts, get hacked, have everything deleted and wiped out.

I've had friends pay hackers to get their account back, and some land in a puddle on the ground in despair, having to start a whole other account after posting and losing 10 years of daily content.

The thing is, we do not own our social media accounts, and we've put so much effort and time into something that can be wiped out in the blink of an eye.

On August 31, ten years of my own content and posts will be deleted from Facebook, by Facebook.

I've pretty much accepted it (mainly because I'm older and wiser about letting go), but also, I've decided to be proactive about finding a solution.

I've watched videos and read a hundred posts about it, but in the end, it really is out of my control, despite my best efforts.

And that is truly okay.

But this led me to think about an important thought/realization, and that is...

We are really at the mercy of the social media services we are a part of.

We put so much time and energy into something we do not own.

It's not your own blog or website, and it can be taken away at any time.

So, with that in mind, I asked myself what I wanted to put my heart and soul into.

This makes me want to hug my blog and say I love youuuuu and I'm sorry I have not been coming here so often.

For whatever reason, I think the universe has spoken to me and said, open your eyes Vanessa!

Your blog needs you.

Even if there are crickets here.

Even if it is only me, in a hidden secret garden in the middle the deepest part of the forest...

It is mine.

It is my 15 year old home.

And so, I've had weeks to really think about what is important to me in life, what I want to put my energy into, and how I want to fill my days.

I am met with the same realization at every corner of my thoughts.

Your blog is your home.

You invite people here, to visit you, to be a part of this space, and to be friends.

So many of us kindred spirits have gathered here and found each other through this space throughout the years.

And it's a special place in my heart to share with you.

To share a morsel of my art world, and my garden world, that I have been building since I was 11 years old.

I still feel like that young girl painting vines on her furniture and helping water her dads' petunias and trees.

This space is so important to me.

To share my journey, and to maybe impart a little bit of light, hope and inspiration with whoever I come into contact with.

I've never been one to care about likes and followers and growing growing growing.

That is not me.

I care about people, and friends, and this one life we get.

I care about really living.

We are here for such a short time, I don't want to waste it.

I want to embrace it.

And that means, coming home.

Coming home to A Fanciful Twist.

This place that was created on a scrap paper, with a pencil drawing and endless hope 16 Decembers ago.

A place for you and me.

Not just for me, not just to see inside my house or to see everywhere I travel to, or what I buy.

But to really stand side by side, holding hands, looking into the world with a sense of support and inspiration.

To know that I am real like you, that I can cry, get anxious, feel lost and confused.

But that I find ways to experience life in a way that brings me joy and helps me get through the trials and tribulations of life, and perhaps through my journey I too can help you.

And somehow, we can help each other.

I don't care about numbers and content.

I care about you.

I care about me.

I care about this one life, and a sacred space to be free to be ourselves.

To be funny and silly, to love tea parties, to cry when our dogs die, to plant seeds of growth.

To know that you are not alone.

These are the sort of things that slip through the fingers of social media.

We can't visit our favorite blogs anymore, because no one is home.

Everyone is on a fast roller coaster ride, with a very beautiful scenery, but one that moves too fast to make a real impact.

At least that's how I feel.

There's too much to see, too many reels, too many posts, and it's moving so fast.

I want to just sit on a quilt under a tree here with you, and talk about life, and inspire one another.

And to make sure that you know that you are wonderful just as you are, and we are going to be okay.

I will still partake in social media in my own little way, but my heart will come to focus again, and put the time and effort into this space.

I don't know how I will tell you that I am here when my Facebook account closes, or in the ever changing world of social media.

So, I'll just tell you now.

I will be here.

I have decided this.

This space is where my virtual home is, and it's time to come back home.

So, I'll be here, in my little house under the big tree, with my rounded door, making a fire, putting on a copper kettle.

And you are always invited to join me.

This is the next leg of the journey.

Coming back home to where I belong.

A Fanciful Twist.

And nothing can make my heart feel better than this.

 

Lots of love, always and forever,

Vanessa

 

I will be here several times a week, from this day forward.

 

See you soon <3 <3 <3

 

 

 

 

 

Welcome Home Little Theodore Laurence ♥

Yes, it's true, we have our very own Teddy!

Theodore Laurence, Guardian of Fanciful, Arizona.

Can you believe it?

I almost can't, someone please pinch me!

For the last week I have disappeared into the new baby nights and getting to know my sweet little Teddy!

He has come home to the country house, where we are all hunkered down, raising a young pup.

He was so little, and has begun to grow fast, in only one week.

I'm trying to absorb every last second because puppy time goes by so very quickly.

He's incredibly playful, cuddly, and can be super rambunctious too.

As you may know, he is named after a beloved character in Little Women.

Theodore Laurence, known in the novel as Teddy and Laurie.

Truth be told, I had a couple different names I had settled on, and only one he answered to - and boy did he answer to it.

And so, Teddy he is!

(He was originally going to be Wolfie, and sometimes I call him Theo, but he only answers to Teddy)

He hops and scampers to you upon calling out his name.

He's a pure delight really.

Long cold nights are forgotten at first sight of his darling little face, whose eyes say mommy pick me up!

He loves to bite and chew, so he has buckets of toys.

Of course, socks are his favorite.

To see a new furry face skipping down the country house garden paths is...

Enough to make my heart explode entirely.

He's so beautiful, and everything you can imagine, and more.

We spend 24 hours a day with him, and work in shifts.

In the early morning I track him over my giant winter coat by watching his shadow behind me.

Although, now he's starting to run in front of me, and faster than me, haha!

His favorite spot is in the verbena patch in the front garden, where Miles is buried.

Once again it is full of toys, the way Miles used to keep it.

We sit and play in the sunshine all day and think of Miles often.

When Miles first died, I thought, there is no way I am getting another puppy.

But as the year went on, and Matty and I found our rhythm, it always felt as though something was missing.

My heart was just so broken, and it slowly started whispering to me that it was time.

I did research for a few months, I joined rescue groups, I scoured sites and joined local adoption resources.

We needed a young pup because Matty would not accept an older dog.

We tried that, and it was not a good situation.

We waited and searched.

I knew if it was meant to be, it would all happen as it should, so I did not force the journey.

Then one day I made a serendipitous connection with a gal named Crystal.

I had no idea she lived just down the road from me, is a stellar dog mom, and had pups.

It just happened to be that she had pups right then, and true to my life, the number 11 was everywhere.

His birthday (my birthday) and a bunch of other things had 11's, and so I pursued the connection.

11's have always appeared in my life, so they make me pay attention when they turn up.

Crystal and I connected online a bunch, and then chatted for over 2 hours, and I knew it was just right.

She has a very serious adoption process, and I can appreciate that.

And so, in a chance meeting, in some magical way, Teddy came to be my next fur baby.

And here we are, playing in Miles' verbena.

All tired.

But crazy haaaappy!

A trio of adults to raise a couple pups.

How is Matty taking this you ask?

I thought he would play with Teddy right away, as he did with Miles.

But since he's an elder, his is more observing.

At first, he was totally uninterested, but as the days go by, he seems to be taking more of an interest.

I just hope and hope that Matty decides to play with him one day soon, because Teddy is dying to play with Matty.

It's been so chilly, this is the view from my old vegetable garden here in the country.

We walk around and around garden paths, with the snow dusted mountains watching over us.

And this is what taking photos of Teddy is like.

He's a tiny little guy, sooooo cute!

Which is well worth it to capture these invaluable memories.

Snapshots in time, that are changing too quickly as he grows.

You never know how life will twist and turn.

It feels like such a different journey, 11 years since having our last puppy.

We are at the country house, as it's a great place for a pup to grow and learn his surroundings and parents.

It's our homebase, and always will be.

I am taking this time, in between Teddy's naps, to deep clean and go through 20+ years of stuff and purge.

It feels so good.

I've been washing curtains, recycling endless stuff in my original office and cooking up some fun meals.

I am trying to just live in the moment and push away my busy brain that says I need to do this and this and this and that.

Right now, I need to only do this.

To be with people I love, and two dogs I adore.

Be in the sunshine and light, paint at night whilst puppy sleeps, sip tea in the cold.

Revolve my days around a puppy, who will outgrow puppyhood so fast.

Thank goodness I grabbed my parka and my warmest scarf though, because the nights have been so cold up here closer to the mountain tops.

Training a puppy little by little, being loving and patient, that's what it's all about.

Matty is snoring at my feet as I type, while Teddy is being chased around the garden paths by Mister Lovee.

I'm cooking for everyone, baking birthday cake for Irishman, making ginger and garlic soups to keep everyone healthy, etc.

I'm in charge of nights with Teddy, and after I take him out for his 5 a.m. potty, in the cold darkness we cuddle up in my bed and play. He attacks my hair, we play tug of war for an hour, and then he snuggles up close to me and falls asleep.

Then I carefully place him in his bed crate, and fenced in bedroom of his own, and catch some z's myself.

Funny how your heart knows how to expand again, so that everyone can fit in there just perfectly.

Baby, Miles, Matty and Teddy <3

And so, we begin again, another chance at this crazy kind of puppy love.

Hope to see you again soon!

♥

Love, Vanessa

 

 

 

Of Wing and Petal...

Oh wing and petal, butterfly summer of my heart...

Where blossoms have grown into trees...

And in the darkest nooks, fairy tale mushrooms have appeared in abundance.

Whispering tales of autumn...

The light begins to shift.

The striped hummingbird moths dance around feverishly.

Their caterpillar selves have been carpeting the ground in both gardens.

I love to see them.

I find such comfort in them, for some reason.

They gather in dozens, sipping the nectar from the wild verbena all around Miles' grave.

Maybe that's why I feel so close to them.

I feel like they are the guardians of my sweetest boy.

The zinnias beckon every winged creature, with their own certain kind of magic.

As dahlias bob down stone stairs I built two springs ago.

I used huge found stones, at least 13 inches deep or more, to create a stair path that looked as though it had been here always.

The butterflies know -

The toil and work endured to build this for them.

A pleasure to my heart, and a job to keep my mind well these 1.5 years of topsy turviness.

Thank goodness for the garden things that keep the imagination alive.

What stories could they tell?

Of what sort of creatures scale the fence and come in at night.

I know they have been here, I see little signs of it, and often little nibbles of bell peppers.

I stroll through the garden and find only the wings of two butterflies deep in the leaves of a cosmos.

I collect them as a garden gift.

I save caterpillars from being attacked by ants.

I know nature must take its own course, but sometimes I can not help myself.

Like the butterfly that had been caught in the giant spider web.

I set her free indeed.

So much going on in the overgrown summer garden.

Soon it will be the autumn garden, in 8 days or so?

The winged creatures are getting so used to me, they let me pet them for 2 seconds, with the gentle side of my pinky finger.

Have you ever pet the fur of a hummingbird moth?

They are so silly.

I am certain they are funny and playful, comical little things.

They even look you right in the eye.

Or come right up to you, to take the last sip of the flower you are clipping for yourself.

Don't worry Hummy, there are more zinnias on the horizon.

The gal I saved comes over to me again.

I can tell it is her because she has just a tinge of spider web still hanging from her wing.

I spend my days rescuing them from fountains and pool, the moment I see them I rush over and pull them out.

Then I set them somewhere safe to dry.

Yesterday there were about 100 moths and butterflies in the pool.

Most just floating, still alive, waiting for me.

I frantically pulled them all out.

Phew!

I go from garden to garden at both houses.

I stroll the garden paths at the country house...

As banana cake bakes in the oven.

I seek out poison mushrooms again and again.

Listening for the tales they would like me to tell...

Something about the hummingbird moth and the butterfly...

What could the story be?

The image below reminds us of how exactly they got their name.

And then other butterflies begin to show up.

As they usually do in autumn.

I love the marking on these.

I wake up at the county house, look out my bedroom window.

20 years of home.

A familiarity so deep in my heart.

I am tending garden at both homes, so it is time to make my 8 minute trek back.

I return to the wild hilled garden to collect goods for dinner.

There are endless limes to collect...

I bring in a few first pumpkins.

Chillies and bell peppers and onions...

And before I go in, I wait for the last sliver of sun...

It never disappoints.

It shoots through the opening in the wall, like a dream of a dream.

A once a day gift.

I intend to visit here more than once a week.

But sometimes I will roll three posts into one, as I have done today.

I am a busy bee it seems, doing this and that.

Going to and fro.

I am painting a cabinet, starting my decorating for Halloween.

Harvesting, watering now that the rains have gone.

Posting wonderful orders, making studio time.

I have a little bit of worry on my heart, as my dad is having surgery for his hip tomorrow.

I'm kind of fluttering around with nervous energy the last few days, trying to do things while feeling a bit wobbly.

Does that ever happen to you?

I seem to run the gamut with the physical symptoms of my worry or nerves.

I do not always worry, and I've collected some major lessons and coping skills over the years.

But I am a natural worrier, not as bad as I used to be, but I have to do things to stay sane.

Like tend my garden madly I suppose.

And learning to let go, just breathe and release, has been amazing.

I did not know that I did not have coping skills for worry, anxiety etc. until I had to face something scary almost 8-10 years ago.

Then it became clear, that I was not skilled in coping with stress.

I've always been wildly happy go lucky, but still a worry wart about certain things, strange but true.

I think we all are to some extent, it's human nature.

There are those people born with an innate ability to cope, and those not programmed with that skill, that can let their worry run wild without end until they are ill.

But you can learn some really easy skills that are life changing.

I was a very brave child, but I still worried about other things.

Even though I was up for anything, and had this strange incredible confidence in things I wanted to try and do -

Deep inside me I was also a worry wart, but not of the things I was trying and doing, more of what ifs about other things.

For example, I wasn't afraid of hiking into the desert alone as a child, but I would worry about what would happen if I failed an exam or got sick.

I guess that's part of having an imaginative mind, it runs away with you.

Most people would be afraid of stomping through snake country, but I would do just that, whilst worrying about other ridiculous things.

There are wonderful skills you can learn to calm yourself, to stop your mind from running wild with worry.

Learning them has been invaluable to my human experience.

It had to get really bad for me, before it got much better.

My journey began around 8 years ago, with a book called Dare by Barry Mcdonagh, it was a real life saver for me.

(I have mentioned this before)

I was at my wits end, no doctors believed that I didn't feel well, and so I somehow sought out a solution for myself.

I ordered dozens of books and hated them all, except this one that I found unexpectedly (Dare), it was just what I needed.

It started to help me instantly and made me a better me.

I still use all those skills I learned almost every day, and I have the Dare app on my phone for daily meditations.

It's important to find the things that help you level yourself.

One thing I have come to learn is that, as bad as anxiety feels, it is an emotion that we often try not to allow ourselves to have, which only makes it worse of course.

Anxiety is an emotion that all of us have to different degrees.

Through my journey I have met so many people struggling, who I have been able to help in my own little way.

(they bought the book too and it was helpful, no I am not sponsored at all, just sharing something that helped me)

If I had not learned those skills, I am not sure I would have been able to cope with all the things happening around us.

Anxiety is a broad label for a whole basket of feelings like fear, panic, stress, worry, despair.

During these last couple of years I am sure we have all had our own encounter with these feelings.

Remember to be kind to yourself.

Remember that, you can not worry yourself sick about things that you have no control over.

I learned that from my 85 year old friend.

I am no doctor, so I am only sharing what works for me, and we all have to find our own way...

But I have learned that -

No matter how rotten things feel, they will get better, nothing lasts forever.

It may look like I live in a world of everything being okay.

And it is, even when everything is not, because I know feelings pass and I now have skills to talk myself through things.

And if I have to, I allow myself to fall apart, like sob while listening to a song and chopping vegetables for dinner.

I always feel better after :-)

Times have not been easy, there have been so many losses and things to fret about, haven't there?

But even when things are scary and bleak, there is beauty all around.

I always repeat my gratitude out loud.

Sometimes I just say thank you thank you thank you thank you, over and over.

Gratitude is a great healer.

You are just one little you, and there is only so much you can take on in your heart and mind.

I send all my love and hopes into the universe, and do my best - that is all I can do.

I have come to a place where I can now feel worry, joy and peace all at once.

Sometimes I feel one of those more that the other.

Most days I do not worry at all, but when I do -

I remind myself, I am not in control of the world or universe, so I can not take it on.

Somedays might be harder and I need to implement the skills I have learned again, and that's okay too.

My dad has always said, it is healthy to laugh and cry every day, I share this all the time.

Now I understand what he means.

It reminds me of someone being surprised with a puppy they have longed for, and how they laugh and cry at the same time.

Letting go is a great healer, understanding you are just like the butterflies and the moths.

Here for a little while, and while things can seem very hard -

There are still flowers and seasons and stars and wishes.

As long as you are here, there is hope.

It's okay to feel sad and rotten, but also leave a little room for the joys of your heart.

I remind myself, keep moving forward, even if it's in tiny ways.

Even if it just means starting a new project, or going for a walk to feel better.

Whatever bad thought you have, flip it to the positive version.

If I say, I am so worried about my dad, I also say, I am so excited for him to feel better soon.

And when I am in the depths of despair...

I sing.

Any song that comes to mind.

I try, and somehow it helps me make my way through.

Especially if you're driving and something stresses you out, just sing!

You will be amused at what song you choose too, and that will make you laugh, after you freak out of course.

:-)

I have found ways to look at things in a funnier way, more light hearted.

What skills have you learned that help you get through worrisome times?

It's really good to know that, we are not alone.

You are not alone.

Every single person alive has hopes, fears, joys, woes.

Some of us get through things a bit easier, while others need to learn ways to do so.

If I was able to learn ways to cope, so can you.

 

I think I shall close with today's motto of...

Don't be so hard on yourself.

 

Magic, wishes and stars to you!

 

Love, Vanessa

 

 

Butterfly Garden {Day 8}

Did someone say, day 8?

I simply couldn't help myself, I thought I'd stop in for a little hello.

Sometimes I have top rub my eyes in my disbelief of what this garden is doing.

It was dry cactus open land and empty garden beds.

Now it is full, especially with all the rain we had all month.

I've enjoyed doing it myself, it's so therapeutic.

Over the years I've found what plants thrive in this heat, and my elevation, and what does well without a ton of water.

You can always count on lantana to withstand the heat, as it trails down my walls below.

This year I decided to try to do my part to help the monarch butterflies.

I planted a row of milkweed, and they have beckoned every butterfly in the area to come over.

The Queen butterflies especially adore it.

There are so many butterflies, it is sort of hard to even absorb it all.

It's like a dream really, I stand out there amongst them and am in awe.

Two days in a row I rescued butterflies out of the pool.

They looked like they were gone, but the minute I pulled them out, they started to come back to life.

Nothing could make me happier.

And you should see the endless caterpillars growing.

It's so lovely.

The only thing is, the pumpkin vines exploded in size due to the rain, and I almost can't even get into the garden now in some places.

Normally I have a designated patch, but this year I dispersed them here and there.

The heat and lack of rain usually keeps the vines from going bonkers, but now it's a sea of vines, so crazy.

Of course, I leave it alone and look forward to all the pumpkin babes I'll be collecting.

There are so many new ones and several ready to come in already.

Below is a photo similar to a few days ago, only thing is...

The butterflies are allowing me to get closer and closer.

I really needed these butterflies.

What with everything going on in the world, they are a light.

I am normally a very jovial wacky and fun loving girl.

A sort of introverted extrovert, as I love my alone time too.

But the other side of me feels too much and is very sensitive to everything all around.

My daily wish is always for people to grow their compassion, and think of others more.

Throughout my life I have noticed so many things that could have turned out different if there was more compassion.

Sometimes, everything seems like a whirlwind around my head, and just going out and sitting with the butterflies makes all the difference.

I went up the hill to watch the full moon come over the mountains last night, it was spectacular.

I feel like I have sooo much too say, and nothing to say at all.

I am at a sort of interesting place in my journey.

I came here as a 30 year old with the mind of a 13 year old.

I am totally and completely different in so many ways, and the same in others.

The important things are so different, mainly because your priorities change so much.

For many years I stayed tucked in at the country house, growing huge gardens, making art and raising dogs.

I was really grounded and super content.

When I was younger I had been so utterly social, that I almost needed a break from the world.

And then one day, I woke up and I felt that I was busting out of my soul, like a tree growing out of its stake and ties.

It just happened, from one day to the next, or maybe it was ML urging me to go out and live it up.

I wanted to climb hills all day, go on airplanes again, have adventures.

I would go hiking for hours every day, get too much sun, listen to loud music.

It was incredible, I'd leave a bouquet of wildflowers on a wooden fence in the middle of nowhere, at the top of the hill every single day.

I needed these things, and so I ventured out of my safe nook and went everywhere, a lot on foot.

Then I went even farther, I journeyed back to the ocean where I lived as a kid.

And then, I went even farther than that.

I went across the ocean.

Sleeping in castles, losing myself in Irish gardens, going for walks in deep forests by myself in the middle of nowhere.

Being in the most mind blowing fairy tale settings you could ever dream of, ever.

Down a forest path, with ferns and ivy everywhere, ponds surrounded by hydrangea bushes the size of cars.

I had dinner at Le Poulbot in Paris, after carrying around a postcard someone had sent me of the façade a decade before.

Walked everywhere, even strolled under a pink sunset, through Marie Antoinette's secret country garden with the grand-sheep of her lambs.

I could go on and on...

And then all of a sudden, everything changed in the world, it was time to hunker down at home.

Instead of losing my mind I decided, as you know, to start a whole other garden.

It's funny the way things happen.

It was time to refind my coziness at home, to plant more seeds.

I suppose part of my destiny has always been to grow things.

And now there are butterflies everywhere, in those old forgotten hills of rotting cactus, that I handled with a shovel, seeds and a dream.

You never know what on earth will happen, who could ever expect any of it?

The crazy things going on, the unfathomable things, and amongst all that, trying to find your own strength and joy.

One thing I do know is that when things seem too much to bear, the best thing to do is allow yourself to feel.

Do not fear the feelings, do not push them away, just let them flow through you and around you.

Eventually they disappear like a plume of smoke.

I've spent years learning coping skills that I never had to have, and they are invaluable.

Life is a very beautiful and very strange place all at once.

Have you watched the documentary of Netflix called Fantastic Fungi?

Really fascinating.

Not sure why I threw that in there, haha.

 

It's so amazing, the wisdom age brings you.

I am enjoying that part of the journey a whole lot.

Anywho, those are my thoughts for the day I suppose.

 

Day 8, butterfly magic and rambling thoughts.

 

See you sooner than soon.

Love, Vanessa

 

A little video of my butterflies.

Sort of impossible to properly convey, unless you are standing amongst them <3

 

 

 

 

Thumbelina Golden Hour + 7 Days of Blogging {Day 5}

Ah, golden hour...

How can one resist it?

I am lucky to face north, so I get both morning and afternoon light in both gardens.

I feel so small strolling through my paths, with the rain turning everything so very tall.

Pumpkin vines create roots at the base of leaves as they grow, anchoring into the ground, which helps them become stronger and survive even if something happens along the line, err vine.

This year we have had so much rain that those anchors have created off shoots, and right now the garden is becoming completely gobbled up by pumpkin vines.

Paths are invisible in some places, and crawling wildly up others.

I decided over a month ago that I was simply going to let it all go wild.

Through the tallest of the garden gates, and into a Thumbelina world is where we shall go.

A true secret garden, because no one could ever find you here.

The cosmos and zinnias have grown like beanstalks.

There have been many baby cardinals born in my garden this summer.

Here is one below...

Mom is very loud, and jumps into the vines when she sees me coming.

Of course, dad swoops in to save the day.

If they only knew that I was a good one, and that I nurture this garden just for them.

The brassica are gigantic, the morning glories are out of control.

I can barely find my way, pushing through cosmos much taller than me.

Searching for that wondrous light of late afternoon.

Until I am found.

Watching the yellow belly finches tear zinnias apart.

As hummingbird moths flutter all around me.

The amount of rain we have had in the last month or so is absolutely remarkable.

I have lined the fence with bench arbors, so that you can sit in many places and just think and enjoy the growing things.

I have some favorite nooks, and I noticed the pumpkin vines are making their way up several of them.

You can't imagine how they exploded with the rain, I am not sure what is going to happen, I am trying to train them to continue their growth towards a huge untapped part of the garden in the south west section.

There is almost no place for me, it makes us laugh all the time with how outrageous the whole thing is.

It's a true Thumbelina jungle really.

Of course, the garden is the best place to think and clear you head.

And recently (as I eluded to in my last post), I've been thinking about adding another fur to my life.

At first I thought, nope, it's just me and Matty now that Miley is gone.

(I can't even type that without starting to sob, honestly)

We have a good thing going, and jump in the car and go from house to house together.

We sleep cozily in both places and it's all good.

But one day recently, Mister Lovee said, check your e-mail.

When I checked there was an email he had written that I was copied on.

He had found a family that had adopted two golden retrievers, but found themselves in a situation where they had to rehome them.

What I went on to read had me in a puddle.

ML had told them all about our history with dogs, and how we had just lost Miley in December.

How we treat our dogs like our children, and how loved and cared for they are.

He had attached the blog posts I did when both Baby and Miles died, along with other lovely posts.

It was like I was seeing my entire history of being a dog mom in one fell swoop, and I sobbed.

It was the most beautiful letter I had ever read, beyond words.

And in that moment I realized - 

I want them!

I hadn't even realized I was ready, but to see them I felt my heart explode, and grow.

The way your heart grows when you think you can never love another dog again.

The dogs would have so much space to run at both houses, in big gardens, it would be perfect.

I went from no more dogs to, I am ready, in just a few minutes.

The thought of being able to help this family, and grow our dog family, seemed perfect.

We went back and forth with the owner until things got a little strange.

I googled him and his e-mail address, and it turned out it was all a scam.

He had done this to a bunch of other people.

I was a bit shocked, but also felt okay with it, because I realized that I could use it as a test to see if I was actually ready.

A second time I came across a family eager to rehome a dog and quickly realized it was another scam.

And so, even though they were scams and we walked away with no real loss, it has been a great exercise in determining where I am in my dog mom journey.

I guess, I am at the open stage.

Until that email ML wrote to that initial person, I was in a "probably not" place.

And, now I am more open.

I wake up in the morning thinking about it.

Do you know the feeling of your heart being broken, and yet there is nothing you can do about it?

(Only time can try to fix you.)

This is how I feel about Miles still.

My sister calls it, an impossible loss, and that is exactly what it is.

When Baby died, I thought I could never love as deeply ever again.

But as I sit here typing -

I can't even express my love for Miles - it was even deeper.

8 months without my beautiful boy.

And yet somehow -

My heart is telling me it might be able to expand again.

And Matty might enjoy a little friend, in the same way he embraced baby Miles.

All I can say is, thank goodness for my Thumbelina garden during all of the things going on out there in the world, plus losing Miles, etc.

It's been a true sanctuary for my heart and soul.

I was out there just now, admiring the beautiful butterflies and endless caterpillars on the milkweed.

The garden of healing, pondering, dreaming.

What a thing - 

A garden.

I promise you some better images of the Thumbelina-ness of it all soon.

So, there's my tale for the day, I didn't mean to end up crying all over my fancy gown.

Okay, maybe not a gown.

Maybe just a pajama, but a girl can pretend ;-)

 

See you tomorrow sweet friends!

 

Love, Vanessa

 

xoxo

 

 

ps: If you read this and there were 10,000 weird typos, I have officially fixed them.

I wanted to post before midnight eastern time, which meant that I had to post by 8:59 p.m. my time.

So, I posted this before editing (down to the wire at 8:57) so that it would be up on the 20th, then I went back and fixed everything.

This is the 7 days of blogging after-all, I've got deadlines to meet.

I love these challenges I'm imposing on myself for no good reason, haha!

Hope I am amusing you at least slightly ;-)

 

 

 

 

Petal Light + 7 Days of Blogging {Day 3}

I sit at my window, looking at huge fluffy clouds and tree tops bobbing in the breeze.

The sun peeks in and out from behind the clouds.

Bright, then shadows, then bright again...

Windows behind petals create a different sort of atmosphere.

Poppy petals act like stained glass with the sun shining from behind them.

There is no other place for me in this world than in my garden, especially when there is chaos all around.

I watched baby cardinals being fed by mom and dad, as hummingbird moths came right up to me last night.

When my mind is full of thoughts, I find peace outside doing things like pruning trees, which is what I did last night.

I collect blossoms and watch the birds, sitting under the trees until I feel absolutely tuned into them before pruning.

I like the fronts canopying and the backs hanging lower, so as to create that perfect fairy tale hideaway.

I have learned that at first sight of me, mama cardinal starts calling her husband, as though I am haunting her.

She flies out of her nest and shouts and shouts to him, and of course, he swoops right in.

I collect my blossoms and tell her all is safe.

My garden has become such a winged creature haven, from butterflies and moths to endless birds.

As soon as the sun begins to go down, the quail jump over the fence and get all cozy in the trees, as well as in little dirt nests they make under the rose bushes.

It's really a whole world for them, and they are fairly safe.

I watch the javelinas and bobcats roaming around outside the fence, and if I am lucky the deer come by and nibble on the tops of my roses, which I don't mind at all.

It's these mindful moments that are so invaluable to me.

Being present, watching nature happen, taking the time to collect some flowers, put them in bottles.

When you can slow yourself down in that way, clarity follows.

Things make sense, your brain can relax and process in a more sound manner.

I have worked for many years to create coping skills for stress, worry, anxiety.

If you do the work, it is invaluable, and the work is very simple.

It's not as complicated as we can make it.

But most of all, it can change your life completely.

Slowing down to marvel at flower petals is one of my very favorites.

No matter how many times I look at them, I am always amazed at the beauty and intricacy of nature's creations.

How can something so beautiful even exist?

Or have we been given the gift to see beauty in nature in such a way?

Not to get philosophical or anything :-)

But I often think that a huge part of life's purpose is to absorb and enjoy all that is around us in nature.

Otherwise, why would it be there at all?

Mountains, and valleys, and rivers and fields of flowers.

There has to be something to the sheer delight we find in seeing mushrooms growing in the woods, watching the moon come over the mountains, and the first scent of rain on dry earth (petrichor) - to name a very few.

And what an incredible gift, to have all of this at our finger tips.

To feel a delicious cool breeze on a hot day, to close your eyes and feel the morning sun on your face.

The first cool snap of autumn, the scent of cooking cinnamon apples and caramel corn.

The delights of the senses, yes I suppose that is what this is all about.

And how lucky are we?

To watch the light filter through the delicate petals of a poppy.

To take the time to be still and appreciate these moments in the seasons.

Each season with its own kind of magic.

Just glorious, sigh.

And with that, I am off to prune a bit more, and it makes me so excited to even be headed out to do so.

I'm easily amused I suppose?

But the vast rain has made everything grow so much, that I am able to enjoy pruning and shaping trees and bushes.

I put on my music, slip on my gloves, grab my tools and head through the garden gate, to see what sort of enchantment will be there to delight.

And there is always something wonderful to see.

 

And with that, we have day three.

See you tomorrow my friends.

Love, V

 

 

My Secret Quarantine Garden

I wanted to take a moment to share my tale about the last year with you...

Before time escapes like petals in the wind.

A tale about a garden I set out to build at the beginning of the pandemic -

And of how it saved me during my year of solitude.

I'd like to share my journey that began in March of 2020 with a sense of mutual respect, based on my own experiences.

I was quarantining at my other house, not the country house (which I am now back at regularly), during the last year.

Many of you who have known me and my blog for a few years have been here through the many many gardens I have built at the country house.

The garden is still alive and well at the country house, but it needs me less because it is established.

I've built so many gardens, such as vegetable gardens surrounded by 14 foot sunflowers.

Over a dozen pumpkin patches.

(all available in the archives)

Flowers and gophers and hives and gourds and edibles galore.

But most importantly, it builds peace and beauty and hope and joy on so many different levels.

I discovered that I loved gardening when I was 19 years old, and have used it as a great source of mental health.

When all hope seems lost, the garden reminds you - hope is never lost, especially on a nurtured seed.

And so, in March of 2020, with a hearty dose of worry and dread I decided I should do something to keep me sane.

Behind the walled-in backyard of my house, was extended land, that I had fenced in for the dogs in 2018.

There was a citrus grove with a tight fence around it on one side, which I removed and expanded for the boys to have a place to run and play.

The rest of the area was rolling hills and a whole lot of brush and cactus, which some men removed when the dogs kept getting thorns.

Because of that, I had a blank slate of dirt and rocks to keep me really busy out back.

I call it, the secret garden behind the garden.

I started with a tiny area for a vegetable garden up against a small hill.

I quickly expanded that to be a tiered garden and I took out my adrenaline of worry (comes easy to me) on the very rugged and rocky hills.

Leveling little hills with my dandy flat head shovel.

In my wildest dreams, I never imagined what would transpire over the next 427 days.

That one little vegetable bed, which I will share photos of below, started me on this grand journey of building a big, lush, and full garden.

I did not plan it, I didn't even expect it.

Because I was going to no stores, I ordered seeds from all sorts of companies online.

For the last 20 years I have been trying to grow poppies, and they simply never take.

I should have known I was heading into a gift of nature when they all sprouted...

But wait, before I tell you about the 4 foot poppies...

And the wildflowers that make me feel like I am in wonderland  -

(I live in the high desert and not the English countryside, so I might get a little overzealous)

Oh, and the bees that are so utterly overjoyed...

I must first show you what this entire space looked like before.

Yes, if you can believe it, it was rolling hills of dry brush and cactus.

And now, the same view above, looks like this below...

To me it is some kind of dream, mainly because I went in with no expectations.

But mostly because this project kept me company when I needed it the most.

And, I never really set out to build something so green and full, I just needed to keep busy in the peaceful outdoors when the world seemed so chaotic.

The garden just evolved on its own, and is still evolving to be sure.

The space I began with, and the hill I put the little original vegetable garden in, can be seen below.

It is surrounded by burlap on the other side of Miles.

That was my sad little vegetable garden that I began with.

One year later, the same exact location looks like this below.

I did it all myself with no help, just me and my shovel and boulders I found in the desert for stairs.

It's not perfect, and it's a little messy like me, but it does my heart good my friends.

The reason I wanted to share this with you is because, it is proof that with hope and nurturing, there are endless things we can achieve.

It just takes some dedication, and even though you cannot see where you are being led to, if you work hard and put your heart into it, wonderful things will unfold for you.

My garden isn't the best most spectacular garden in the world, but that isn't even the goal.

The goal for me was a place to keep from the sadness I found myself in during the pandemic.

I was separated from everyone I loved, as most of us were.

I lost many friends and family members.

And hardest of all, Miles (my 10 year old dog and baby) was dying of cancer.

My garden had to save me, there was no other choice.

There was nowhere else for me to go, but this dry plot of earth beckoning me, sort of convincing me that I should till it.

I was like Alice, sobbing in my sea of tears many days.

But hoping and praying deep down inside for better times ahead.

And blocking a lot of it out by quietly digging in dirt, day after day after day.

My body was bruised and tired.

My back was sore.

But I was floating and not sinking.

My garden was (is) my life boat.

It was the case 20+ years ago and it still is now, today.

Last summer the garden was okay, it had a big pumpkin patch and a lot of new little cuttings and seeds I was nurturing.

But as they say, a lot of the gardening happens in fall and winter, especially in my zone and location (high desert of Arizona, zone 8b/9a).

I planted most of my wildflower seeds in November, December and January.

I planted all my bulbs a day before my birthday on December 10th.

I had Miles by my side (my golden retriever with terminal cancer), and he seemed pretty well.

He had lasted a year longer than predicted and was by my side with every seed and bulb I planted.

But then, on December 12th my paternal grandmother died and on December 16th Miles went down hill fast and also died.

I won't go into my pain and agony, but I will say...

What slowly ensued beginning in February 2021, to me, was nothing short of a miracle.

After a year of toiling, with a heavy heart and worry about the unknown, something began to shift.

Poppies began to emerge everywhere.

Everything I had planted was pushing up through the earth.

Thousands of seedlings reached up to the sun everywhere.

I was used to losing almost everything to birds and critters before, but I had been extra careful to protect everything.

I watched them growing in beautiful shades of green, and budding while reaching for the sky.

Slowly unfurling from their curious and magnificent pods.

And not just one or two or ten, but hundreds.

So many, that even as I type this, I can not fathom the poppy magic that is currently happening.

You see, when you are a garden lover...

An obsessed lover of all growing things, you have these dreams - 

You ask yourself, imagine if this or that would grow?

You dream of what could be.

Gardening really is all about hope and a dream.

For me, the gophers and rabbits always made things very difficult at the country house.

But, if there is one thing I have learned in this new garden, it is that a fenced in garden area and wire cloches do wonders.

(And bonus, it is very rocky here, so the digging is not that easy for underground critters)

It seems that everything I planted grew.

I didn't do anything over-the-top special.

I just got up bright and early every morning to make sure seeds were watered and safe.

I used organic soil and kept them hydrated, but besides that, it's the sunshine that did all the work.

Because it is the desert, I am cautious with my watering, and when it finally gets hot, most of these will die back and the more heat tolerant plants will continue.

But for now, we have all of this, and it is nice and cool outside this weekend.

If a garden can truly hear you, as they say plants can, they must have heard me.

That or they really like 70's soft rock music, because for some reason that is all I was able to listen to the last year.

It made me feel less alone, crazy as that sounds.

I could be in the sunshine and dirt and all of a sudden Ace would come on or Paul Davis, or always Journey, and I'd feel like a kid again - and I felt okay.

From the moment the sprouts started growing, which you can see in previous posts, I just marveled at them.

And then, things just kept getting taller and taller and...

Lusher and lusher.

And before you know it, winter had ended and spring had begun.

I wondered what would happen next in my life.

But the one thing I had, whenever everything else has been an unknown, was the hope my garden was gifting me.

A reason to get up early and breathe the fresh morning air.

I have been waking up so early to tend my gardens for so many years now, it's become second nature to me.

And even though I was alone in my gardening, I wasn't totally alone because I had Matty with me and the endless birds and bees.

Of course, gardening and painting are a one person show most of the time, which you do alone - but the pandemic brought on a different kind of feeling when you actually can not see the ones you love.

I know many of us feel differently about this last year, so all I can say is, it's best to just respect one another's feelings.

As they say, best not to say anything at all, if you don't have anything nice to say right?

I can only share the experience of my own life.

,

And how, somehow in my endless well of feelings, a secret garden emerged...

And it held me tight.

It comforted me.

It kept me company.

It gave me hope.

It kept me healthy and sane.

And then, it gave me a whole bunch of flowers - 

And continues to do so.

Every day there is something new blooming, something more to look forward to.

A garden can save you in so many ways.

It will amaze and delight you, if you love it and care for it.

It will show you the most incredible botanical specimens.

Like tissue paper art, just bobbing in the breeze.

It will overwhelm and delight you.

And sometimes, you might not even believe it is real.

And so, somehow, I built a sanctuary for Matty and I.

And just as it was in full bloom, we all were able to see each other again.

Even though I still tend my garden alone, I am now able to return to my country house.

To those I love.

And, my heart feels a little lighter.

Just like that, I am more able to enjoy the delights of my garden.

My garden that undoubtedly saved me, again - 

And then, as to say hello, it showed me its face below, with poppies for eyes.

I am more than quite certain, that your garden can show you its face in different ways.

Mine has a very frog like face, with two eyes made out of poppies.

Can you see it?

So, here I am typing you this sort of letter about my garden and my year.

I never thought, in March of 2020, that I would have built this big garden a year later.

There are moments I lay under the moon in my garden and wonder if it is real.

I get up just as the light is coming over the mountain, as it shoots hazy dreamscape beams through the trees and flowers, and I marvel at it all.

I will forever and always be in awe of nature.

I had many philosophical thoughts this last year, but the one that continues to return is - 

One of the many reasons (but an important one) for our existence is to enjoy the splendors of nature.

It is one of the greatest gifts of all.

It is free, it is always there, and it is all around.

I'm content in doing my part for the endless bees and hummingbirds that enjoy the flowers.

For all the baby birds that have been born in my garden this year.

For the quail that jump over the fence every evening, to cuddle up in my garden together, because they know they are safe.

To be able to assist the creatures of nature in any way is my greatest joy.

The garden has saved me many times.

And it saved me this last year, when I needed it the most.

Proof that you can in fact, build a full cottage garden in one year.

No matter how big or how small, I recommend it to each and every one you.

If you get the chance at some time in your life, to have any sort of plants of your own, I encourage you to try it.

If it is something that calls your name, you will love it.

There are ups and downs in growing things, but it is utterly rewarding.

I know many of you already have beautiful gardens, big and small, or have had them in the past.

So, you understand all this botanical talk, I'm sure.

Thank you for letting me share my long tale with you, of the last 427 days and counting.

Of the secret quarantine garden that I built during one of the hardest years many of us have had.

Let's just continue to do our best and be hopeful for the future.

And have respect and compassion for one another.

 

Lots of love from me to you!

 

Love, Vanessa

 

 

 

 

November of Flowers and Memories...

Floriferous Novembers of the high desert...

Some of the best memories ever.

The marigolds are plentiful, fluffy in orange and yellow.

The smaller French marigolds are from seeds my mom gave me over 15 years ago.

I keep collecting seeds from my own plants and replanting every year.

But mostly they self seed, which is a sort of garden magic all of its own, isn't it?

Every day that I am in the garden a hummingbird flies around me.

Sits in the lemon tree and chatters away, then swoops down to all the zinnias.

He is so hard to capture, but every once in a while luck is on my side.

I am so happy that my flowers feed the endless bees, hummingbirds and even the naughty yellow belly finches, who gobble up zinnia petals, leaves and seeds at the speed of light.

I think the reason November flowers are so spectacular is that the plants have been growing all summer, to huge heights.

And then the flowers on top of all the lush summer growth, returning when they know the heat will not scorch them, is quite a sight.

And so, after I lost track wandering around today, I filled my little cabinet shrine that you have seen over the years with my fresh flowers.

When I opened the door I shed a little tear for all the memories held by the dried flowers inside.

Flowers from my country garden, dear to my heart.

Pictures of grandfathers and a dog <3

Hearts in a dish, memories so vast.

I hope next summer my country garden will be bursting with flowers once again.

This year I am grateful for my new quarantine garden.

Born of seeds and flowers ordered by mail.

Gratitude is so important for reminding you that everything is ok.

And with flowers to collect...

Well, how can one not be utterly grateful?

I filled my cabinet with all new flowers, piling them right on top of the old flowers.

I wonder what I will think or feel when I open up my little cabinet again?

I find my heart in the garden over and over.

I mend it with rose thorns and waxflower floss.

I plot and plan for what is to come.

Napa cabbage, broccoli, violets, citrus fruits - are all happening now.

Gifts of the winter garden you see.

Nature goes on -

The bees buzz around all day, cheeky birds steal flower seeds.

Pumpkin vines still twist up trees in November.

Matty and Miles sit, watching, then plunk onto their sides in a deep sleep.

Drunk by the sun rays.

Today is Dia de los Muertos.

I spent most of the day in the garden, remembering everyone.

When I used to walk into my grandparent's house I'd see my grandpa in his regular chair and I'd say...

Hiiiiii grandpaaaaaaa!

And, he'd say, hiiii grandmaaaaa!

It was really funny.

Then he'd say....

Eh Vanessa, I have something to show you...

And it would be some old door he saved for me, or some old typewriter.

He was kind of an ogre, but he was always nice to me.

I'll always remember him as the guy who drank the worm at the bottom of the tequila bottle...

Who sobbed when I celebrated joyously when he got his new knees.

He would show me all the exercises he would do while seated in his chair -

And then he'd ask me to order him this or that from the mail order catalog.

He loved to eat, he loved to grocery shop.

He'd tell you exactly how you had to eat your food for max enjoyment.

Like, how to get the perfect bite of Menudo with chili pepper and lime and cilantro and onions.

Often people say I'm just as annoying as he was.

Micro managing the perfect bite :-)

His voice is alive in my memory forever...

And I can hear him calling me grandma crystal clear.

Funny, happy, tearful memories I didn't even intend to share.

But that is what Dia de los Muertos is all about.

Remembering those who have gone before you.

Like Baby throwing herself on her back the minute she'd see you coming just to get a little belly rub.

I always have wished that I had rubbed her every single time she did that.

And so, I never ever ever have missed a hug or belly rub with Matty and Miles.

The things you learn from love.

 

Thanks for reading.

<3 <3 <3

See you soon.

 

Love, Vanessa

 

 

Sunflower Days

Oh Sunflower days of September...

With crisp morning air and hot afternoon...

A familiar breeze filled with memories.

Of days gone by and new memories to be collected.

The buzzing of the bees, eating ripe tomatoes under the lemon tree...

My sweet sweet boy still here.

Drooping sunflower necks, secretly looking down at the pumpkins.

Sweet brown bread and tea in the shade.

With the lingering night air being soaked up by the hot sun rays.

Giant swallowtail butterflies...

Join me for tea and a chat.

The incredible magic of nature swirls all around.

A garden planted during the most stressful time has imparted the deepest kind of peace within my soul.

I searched for it madly in soil and seeds and then one day, it hugged me deep within.

And it told me, it's okay.

Even if it's not, it still is.

And somehow, I understood that and it comforted me beyond measure.

I've collected pumpkins, dreamed of grander trees and roses to come...

Marveled at stems...

Watched yellow belly finches feast on zinnias and sunflowers.

Danced in the rain as my little stream flowed again.

Hugged dogs madly.

And watched every flying creature sip water from my little birdbath.

And now sunflower season is coming to a close soon...

I will collect seeds and dreams, alike.

I sit, sipping my orange vanilla tea.

Thinking about all these things...

When all of a sudden, right behind Matty...

A hummingbird appears.

He knows she is there, but he is older and wiser and doesn't mind a birdling dancing about.

Sipping the nectar from wild verbena flowers.

The same verbena I took a cutting of from the river 20 years ago.

The same verbena that thrives in my gardens still.

Who knew it would be feeding the bees and hummingbirds all these years later.

It's the beautiful things such as these that bring me the greatest joy.

Just when I think my heart is full as can be...

There is natural bokeh coming through the trees.

Golden hour sun, shining through leaves like twinkle light orbs.

Only, nature's version.

Perfect for a sunflower song.

Hello September.

How did you get here so fast?

A new season will be upon us soon dear friends.

I am already shifting things around my house.

Filling oodles of delightful autumn orders in my shop.

I love sending folks parcels of joy.

Home never felt so good.

Matty and Miles are happy to get to play outside more in the evening breeze.

I can see the roses coming back to life, as autumn is always like a new spring around my neck of the woods.

The desert is green from a little much needed rain.

I'm chewing bubble gum that mom my sent me in the mail as I type.

I can't wait to collect garden findings for autumn decor.

How does September find you?

I'd love to know.

 

Be well, be safe <3

 

Lots of love, 

 

Vanessa

 

 

 

 

 

 

These Winter Days...

Hello friends!

I hope you are keeping warm and cozy on these winter days.

Winter in Arizona is exquisitely beautiful, with cool air and sunny skies.

Pink sunsets with snow on the mountain tops and dreaming of spring on the horizon.

The ground cover is green as can be and baking days ensue.

Doodling with tea and decorating for Valentine's day is just the thing.

Miles gave us a huge scare week before last.

He stopped eating much and took a huge turn for the worst, we all thought he was succumbing to his cancer.

In a moment of despair I whipped up some dog friendly cookies and he started eating them slowly.

We had previously tried everything we could think of that he loves, from rotisserie chicken to seared salmon, and he'd just spit it out.

After about 2 -3 days of eating a few cookies and some high end treats he slowly started to miraculously bounce back.

The vet increased his pain meds and told us we might have a couple weeks left at best.

But he truly has been more like himself, save for this soccer ball tumor he's carry around, and another smaller (grapefruit size) one hidden on his hip. But he's really doing so much better, acting more like himself and going outside to enjoy the weather.

He even jumped up on my country house bed again.

Yawwwwwwn.

Love seeing him out sniffing around his gardens.

We are truly just enjoying and living in the moment completely.

There are roses, if you can believe that.

Roses and naps, and fairy lights for good measure.

The winter sun is always filtered, beautiful.

I sit with my boy doodling away.

Taking breaks to go and see what I can see.

Lovely sunsets, golden hours and the delicate veins of the last faded bougainvillea petals.

Dancing in the winter light...

Giving us something to look forward to.

Green covered ground.

Fresh beautiful air.

Brothers together.

They are very independent of each other, but there are moments where you know they are close.

Like when the mail truck pulls up and Miles runs out and stops, waiting until Matty comes running down the driveway to take charge. He always looks back, searching for Matty to lead the way in so many things.

And so here we are...

Drinking in every morsel of time.

Living in the moment, minute by minute.

Just loving and living in these days.

I post lots of videos in stories on Instagram, the boys and their shenanigans.

I feel lucky to be awash in the feeling that nothing matters except these moments.

Drawing, hugging, baking, cuddling, repeat.

A little cold front is coming through the next couple of days.

We seem to always get a couple days of snow in February - let's see if this is that time.

Forced to cuddle up and draw and crochet and just be.

I love it.

<3 <3 <3

 

Wishing you all good things, 

 

Love, Vanessa

 

 

 

 

Some flowers for your Friday (and other things)

Hi there!!!!

I thought I would pop in with some petals to cheer your day.

There is this hazy cool winter light coming in the window that I love.

Although, my fingertips are more than chilly typing this.

I know I know, it's nothing as cold as you are.

But I'm from the desert, I'm weak :-)

I picked up all sorts of flowers last night and I am so glad that I did.

No garden flowers here yet, but I did notice that the roses are filling up with those fresh glossy leaves of early spring.

Do you buy yourself flowers?

I love buying flowers, it's so very important to do nice things for yourself.

I think we let our mean self out too much - more than we let the nice self out.

(I don't know why the quality of my pics goes down when I load them here, but you can click them to see better quality)

I don't have anything major to report.

I just got back from the ocean which was lovely and I got overly numbed at the dentist yesterday to fix a filling I cracked.

Besides that, things have been pretty mellow around here.

I read that if you massage your face or do exercise that the numbing from the dentist goes away faster.

I had a very weird reaction to it, but I still took out the roots of a dead tree yesterday with the hatter.

I was acting so loopy.

I set off the house alarm.

I panicked from the feeling of choking on cotton.

I felt all the pain in my tooth but my throat was so numb I couldn't swallow.

My heart was racing.

Silly silly silly.

I just can not take any kind of anything it seems.

I'm so sensitive to anything chemical, I can't even do coffee, boo hoooo.

This was not the topic I planned, but since I'm nothing but honest here's something funny.

After my dental appointment and the panic that came over me from not being able to swallow or feel (I know most of you know what this is like) -

I went to house 2 (we'll call the country house "house 1"), and I set off the alarm somehow.

Then I called the hatter and I started sobbing, do you have people you just turn into blubbering mush around?

He was like, you know what to do to calm down (Insert DARE book by Barry McDonagh), and he just overall made me feel better.

I got into the car and I had mascara running down my cheek and neck :-) (insert belly laugh)

I was like, what can I do to make the time go faster for the numbing to wear off?

I know!

I'll go shopping.

I went to the antique store and I bought 175 pieces of china.

(I fixed my makeup before going in, I promise, at least I think I did - scratches head)

5 pieces of framed art.

A huge ugly rain umbrella (I still don't know why I bought that).

Christmas decorations.

And a basket of books.

Oh and a huge mirror.

I didn't just feel numb, I felt a little wacky too.

I was like, Jim, I can't feel my tongue or throat- and he was like, yep you must have had some tooth work done, and I was like - yes and I would not like to feel like this forever.

And he scoffed at my silliness and said, it's not gonna last forever and looked at me funny but with a smile.

Oh, btw, Jim is one of the volunteers and my friend at the antique store.

I'm trying to get him to let me use his pass in the 55+ gym by my house but he says, he'd get in real trouble if he turned me loose and I ran amok!!

Hahaha!

Oh so, I also found a fabulous rocking chair sitting outside the dumpster so I took it to house 1.

I tried to eat 2 French fries and almost choked to death so I had a smoothie.

I partook in some random garden shenanigans.

Then, I got into bed fully clothed (coat, jewelry, etc) at house 1 and tossed and turned.

The hatter brought me ibuprofen, water and peeled fresh oranges from the trees.

I know, I sound like a ridiculous baby.

But I'm certain something weird happened.

(I know, who cares about a little numbing - no big deal, there are real things going on this world, I know this)

When the numbing first went in - about 30 seconds later my heart was racing and thumping as though I took some weird drugs.

Not that I would know anything about that, but it's what I imagine :-)

And I felt the entire procedure like being electrocuted in my tooth.

So, I'm not sure what happened, hahahaha!

I'm laughing whilst typing as it is quite comical now.

Borderline even ridiculous to share.

I had not had a dental procedure in so long that it wasn't until later that I remembered my old dentist (who retired) used to not give me numbing due to my bizarrest reactions. Slaps forehead with palm of hand.

Sidenote - I am not calling it Novocain because apparently that is not what they use these days? I'm not sure.

All I know is it was hawwwrrible, and I would not like to take part in that again.

Oh and did I mention I was numb for 7 hours!

7.

(I didn't stay in bed all 7 hours, I'm restless by nature, as you may have guessed - after shopping I did help ML with the stump, hacked up some rose bushes and ran around checking the endless wild chamomile all whilst drooling - then I got in bed and had some pain killers)

But when it wore off I had a whole new lease on life.

I was like, I'm freeeee I'm freeeeeeee!!!

I was doing an Irish jig and was like, I'm outta here.

I hopped out of bed and went flower shopping.

I then took all my flowers to house 2.

And then...

Late at night I decided to look in my car to see what loot I picked up while completely insane.

I'm still staring at this giant box filled with 175 pieces of china.

O.M.Geeeee.

Luckily, I shop second hand so the damage I do is minor.

It's minor in dollars but major in stuff.

Gotta love that right?

(In hindsight - I've had much more serious procedures done in life and handled them much better than a tooth, lol. Just to be clear, I would have kept this entire debacle to myself, but why the heck not dramatize for your reading pleasure, or eye rolls? Haha! Assuming someone is still reading a blog in 2019, or is that only in my dreams - and why am I all of a sudden singing a Debbie Gibson tune from the 80's?)

Anyways...

I had a ball at the ocean even though it poured rain.

I got some moments of sun here and there.

Mom and dad and Irishman were with me.

I saw the Tim Shaw exhibit at Balboa park at SDMA.

Very creepy but very interesting & intense.

I brought home 2 sea shells.

There weren't many.

The ocean was littered with little plastic garbage from the storms.

No shells.

It's chilly here.

Do you think I should get a little dog to join my boys?

Matty is 9 and Miles is 8.

I'd love them to make a new little guy like them.

They are so non-destructive and well behaved.

It's been on my mind.

Also, I'm going to say something very controversial.

I'm getting bored with social media.

The algorithms show me nothing but the same thing over and over and over and over.

Where are my friends and why am I seeing the same random odd video over and over?

And honestly, it makes me feel a little cuckoo.

I was never much into Pinterest but I noticed the tailoring is very intense there too.

I feel like I'm in groundhog's day.

I go on my phone and see the same thing served to me for months in a row.

How about you?

And I rarely see any of my friends unless I seek them out.

Anyways, I'm blabbering and my oven is all warm for me to make a peach crisp.

I best be on my way.

 

Love love love, V

 

Stay warm, be nice to yourself and buy some flowers.

Oh and order seeds soon for the ground.

xoxo!

 

How ya been, watcha doin', what's going on?

Tell me your funny dentist story, won'tcha???!!

 

 

ps:

Here is a photo of me on vacation.

Just kidding, obvi.

;-)

Those are just the javelinas that live on my property at house 2.

Yes they can be dangerous if provoked.

They are nearly blind and have huge tusks.

They can severely injure your dog so you have to be careful.

17 of them crossed my driveway the other day with tiny babies in tow.

Life must be hard out there for those root and plant eaters in winter.

But they are cute in their own way, no?

 

Beautiful November...

November is a beautiful month in the high desert.

Citrus starts to ripen, flowers come back to life and the air has a coolness you long for all summer.

October is still very warm, but November changes everything.

The feeling of giving thanks is everywhere.

It's been a year of growing flowers and finding a balance.

Tending two gardens and going back and forth has become wonderful.

I love it.

It's a great gift for sure, and I am very grateful to get to have two gardens to love.

The villa garden is gifting so many roses right now.

(the country house garden is ridiculously floriferous right now too)

All the transplants worked, and I run outside the second I open my eyes to see what is going on out there.

It does feel like the heart of my homes are in the gardens, in many ways.

But I think in fairness, the heart is the kitchen.

I spend the hugest amount of time in this kitchen.

I congregate with friends and loved ones here.

I feed dogs here.

I'm always cooking and baking up something that gets gobbled faster than I can get it on the plate.

In fact, I have a little desk nook in the kitchen that I am typing this from at this very moment.

To bring flowers and fruits from the garden into the home fills my heart with a kind of joy that I can actually feel fluttering in there.

It breaths life into the home for me.

Especially because part of my soul is made up of warm garden soil.

I do not know why I have been enchanted by petals.

By the act of growing them.

I have spent 24 years (daily) working in the garden.

I think it is what grounds me.

Make me feel like myself.

Makes me feel at peace.

Fills my heart.

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and all I want to do is plant.

It's a need and longing I have inside of me.

So I do it avidly.

When I discovered the villa one year ago, there were huge citrus trees in a small grove.

They looked like big ogers, with arms touching the ground.

They had not been nurtured to canopy, but instead to arch down like spiders in a tangled mess.

The leaves seemed a bit sad and not as glossy and beautiful as they could have been.

I crawled in there and sawed and trimmed and cut and clipped.

Endless dead branches deep under these monster trees.

Days and days.

I bled from the huge thorns scratching my shoulders and arms and hands and forehead.

I worked feverishly.

And now, one year later, they are vibrant again.

With huge glossy green leaves and more fruit than I can keep up with (almost).

And so I fill this heart.

This kitchen.

This center of my home, with all I collect outside today.

And I am grateful to the gifts from the garden.

Sweetest pink grapefruit makes you feel so good any time of the day.

Coral and sherbet and magenta petals fill my tin.

And a few little mums that grow everywhere as volunteers.

I have found the flow of my norm.

And I am here to tell you that, change is hard.

Even good change is hard.

But it is also so good.

None of us want change, but some of us need it and don't even realize it.

As they say, it is the change that keeps you being yourself.

Hard to believe, but true.

You can sit in your house day after day and say, why have I lost my mojo?

Why am I so unhappy?

Why have I lost myself?

Why does nothing feel right in my cozy nook?

And you can sit and sit and wait and wait to feel like yourself again.

Hoping for the day to come.

Don't wait but instead live.

Venture out, smell the air.

Do something, even the smallest thing, differently.

And slowly but surely, you will feel your muse again.

I feel like, the older we get, the less we are in tune with what exactly we need.

As kids we say, I hate this.

I don't like this.

We kick and scream and make the changes we need.

We purge our feelings openly and without bounds.

But as adults we don't afford ourselves the same luxury.

We accept, we become complacent with our unhappiness.

We wait.

And wait.

We wait for something to change.

A kid would never do that.

A kid would kick and cry and scream and say, I want to go playyyyyy!

I want to go out for ice cream.

It's like, as kids we know what we need.

Like we are more in tune without even knowing.

And as adults, we lose sight of it, or don't even ask ourselves what we need.

We lock ourselves up and wait, which is likely not what we need at all.

We say, I just don't know what is wrong with me.

When really what we need is so simple.

Sometimes the weight can feel sooooo big.

Little happy things can slowly start the cure.

I found that no matter how anxious or weird I feel, if I meet a friend for dinner and chats I feel amazing after.

If I go to the plant nursery and get a frozen yogurt, I feel better.

If I go for a drive and blare my music I feel fab!

If I talk to people at the grocery store, just happy small meaningless chats, I feel so happy.

Be a child, and give yourself what you need.

Ask yourself, what do I need?

Not the big picture of what you need, but right now, in this moment.

What do you feel like you need?

A coffee, a good book?

To sit in the sun and close your eyes?

To go stroll around an antique store?

To start a project you have ready to begin starring at you right now?!

To cry your eyeballs out and purge some of those toxins?

Do it with urgency.

Go out for ice cream with urgency.

Go for a drive with your fave music on with urgency.

I promise, it will help.

The cure for so much is so simple but we drown in a glass of water.

Let's do it.

Let's enjoy all the little cures.

I guess my point is, my cure is my garden.

Well, it's part of my cure.

The creativity of cooking is another cure, and feeding people I love.

I heard that, there is no other act of love so pure as cooking for people.

Which I love to do.

Painting, antiquing, typing here right now.

All make up bits of my cure.

Music, so much music.

Walks and talks and good food.

Playing the piano, creating a mood board.

We think we have to come up with monumental happenings to makes changes.

If only we realized, the changes that will bring us back to joy are so very small...

It's the little things - isn't it?

Always.

What are your little cures?

Your small joys?

 

Lots of love!

 

xoxo

 

 

 

Bon Voyage

I'm writing this from my phone in an airport.

About to embark on a big journey♡

(I had a hard time posting this so by now I've traveled 30+ hours, rerouted my whole travel plan due to weather & have arrived at my first destination, woohoo)

The images looked perfect when I created them but now they look a little blurry here. But that's okay because I'm just popping in really quick to say, I'm off an a journey♡

I'll post oodles of photos & daily videos in my stories on Instagram.

https://www.instagram.com/afancifultwist

Won't you join me for some fun?

I've been painting like crazy & am excited to smell different air & feel a cool breeze, see how that affects my art fun shenanigans♡

While I'm away dont forget to...

And try to always...

And above all, plunge into creativity.

Being creative has vast options, not just in making art but in things like cooking, decorating, music making, gardening, dreaming, writing, singing, dancing, crafting, dreaming & sooooo much more♡

Creativity is so good for your heart & soul.

Trust me.

I've learned this time & time again.

No matter how good or bad I have felt in life, a little creativity never ever hurt♡

Much looooove!

Wish me luck, my airplane is already delayed 7 hours & we have to take a different route to get where we're going. But the cool thing about getting older is that sitting around people watching seems to be much easier & entertaining than it was when I was 13.

 

Ok then, best wishes for everyday goodnesses, from me to you♡♡♡

 

Xoxo, Vanessa

 

I'll be here below if you need me😊

https://www.instagram.com/afancifultwist

 

Ps: I can not tell what any of this looks like from my phone, so I hope it's ok ;-)

 

Of Petals and Golden Hour...

Why hello there my lovely friends!

I bet you thought I really fell through a vortex somewhere?

Never in 12 years have I ever stayed away for so long.

Alas, I just found myself beyond busy - deciding what to take to the villa and what to leave at the country house.

I'll be living both places as intended from beginning, which is why they are close to each other.

Then there was painting and furnishing and moving things around and going on endless antiquing excursions.

(with a million other house things, planting roses and transplanting plants and pool stuff and well, a lot to do)

And so I wasn't in the space of calm, where you sit and edit pics all day and then write up your tale on the bloglette.

So I decided to focus on what I could, and now finally the dust is settling a bit.

And what a perfect time, right in the thick of spring with summer looming.

The country house is all a flutter, with wisteria and endless climbing roses truly gobbling up my little buildings in the garden.

I chase golden hour around daily, I can't wait for that magic glow to turn up.

So dreamy!

It's such a magical time, when plants start to fill out and get so green.

I lose myself in this time of the year.

It's busy being a garden keeper, and now with two gardens.

But I could never complain, I just love growing things.

It fuels my soul and being.

My little guy Matty (aka Matisse) has been doing the funniest thing.

He now stands around head tilted up, eyes in nap mode.

It's a sort of bliss I think, because he does it in the car too.

Just tilts his head to the sun, closes his eyes and relaxes.

It's really so cute.

He's tiptoeing through the petals as you can see.

And boy are there ever endless petals.

The climbing roses where simply astounding this year.

A building covered in roses is more than my heart can bear, really.

Sigh.

And then the blue skies, and wisteria interweaving itself with roses.

How much can I handle really???!

It's just too good.

Thank you thank you mother nature.

I just roam around enjoying every single little morsel.

Eating the sweetest oranges and talking to the bees.

Oh beautiful days, I love you so.

I'm sure all of you out there are having a lovely spring too.

Isn't it just such a treat?

I'm sorry I worried so many, I got emails wondering where the heck I was.

I know Instagram is not like blogging but it's all I can do sometimes to stay afloat.

I can't wait to tell you tales about the villa here.

This big ole unusual place, with so many nooks and crannies to fill.

Somehow I am not certain if all of this is happening.

It's like, so much to ingest that it feels surreal.

But it's sooooo much fun.

You all know how much I adore treasure hunting.

But it's also kind of strange because I've had these dreams throughout my life about this curious big ole place with tall ceilings and dark floors. And I've been collecting treasures for over 20 years for the place in my mind. And then one day it was just there, isn't that odd? This often happens in my life, this puzzle of my journey snaps together and makes sense.  It's just all very strange (in the best way), that throughout my life I dream of places or happenings and then it turns out to be some wonderfully bizarre sort of reality.

I even dream of people and they appear in my life.

What's that about?  Has that happened to you too?

I can't wait to share so much more, and I'm sorry it's been crickets here but wow, the amount of things and change and craziness and busyness I've been up to would make your head spin. It's all wonderful and good and I'm gathering stories to share with you regularly.

And if you miss me you can always come to Instagram, it's better than nothing right? :-)

Do people really still read blogs?  I am not sure, but if you're up for stopping in I'll plunge back into typing my nonsense.

Is that a deal?

Well, I must go water after a very hot day in the country.

 

Lots of love!

 

xoxo

 

See ya soon, 

 

Vanessa

 

 

 

 

Hello There♡

Happy Thanksgiving weekend my friends!

I'm sorry I've been so busy, but you won't believe the tales & adventures I've been on. I'll be sharing more soon.

Promise.

This is my first attempt at blogging from my phone because I am away from my computer. Phone pics too, imagine that?

I have no idea how this will all look when I hit publish. I just really wanted to pop in and wish you and yours a wonderful holiday.

I found some pretty growing things to snap.

 

I may just explode with the amount of crazy  fun happenings going on.

 

Funny how life twists & morphs and can just amaze you at every turn.

 

I've found myself living something quite like a Jane Austen novel, in the most lovely way.

 

But some things you sometimes keep to yourself, to protect the magic bubble.

 

Oh me oh my.

(Pride & Prejudice) 

 

Funny life♡

Gotta love it.

 

Find me on instagram at afancifultwist for more regular updates & videos in my stories. It's a fun tool when I'm so busy to just keep in touch with eachother.

 

I'm getting a lap top tomorrow so I can stay more connected. Should've done that a lot sooner.

 

How are you out there in your neck of the woods?

 

 

Lots of love,

Vanessa

 

 

 

Welcome Autumn

It's official, we are all blooming again here in the desert.

Our wilted little souls bursting forth again with vigor.

The seasons are changing and the incredible heat that kept us locked inside for months is leaving us.

I slept with my window open last night, heaven.

Yipeeeeee!

It's been a week of great weather and just like that, the insects are coming out and the flowers are blooming again.

This morning I ran through my garden path and I had this overwhelming wonderful feeling of being alive again. This summer was just brutal and the shift in weather almost makes you want to drop to your knees and kiss the ground, I tell ya.

I know it's impossible to comprehend for people who live in cold places.

I get it, the cold makes you long for heat.

But heat so hot you can not go outside during the day is just crazy.

And so, that's probably why so many of you say you love me the best in autumn.

Because I burst forth with so much excitement.

Freeeedom!

The basil is covered in bees so I've let it flower.

No more pruning.

I think to myself, their honey must be amazing.

I'm going through the most interesting shift right now.

About 4 years ago I started this journey, this adventure.

People were coming back into my life.

My life was begging me for some attention.

Go out and play, leave your hidden nook!

Even the hatter said, get out of the nest, gooooo!

Certain people saying, please Vanessa, come out of the hills.

Let's have tea.

Let's chat.

I've given my personal life almost 3 years of gobs and gobs and gobs of attention.

Instead of being my little hermit self.

It's been amazing.

Huge and crazy things have happened, even I can't believe it.

And now, with the changing seasons, I feel another change in me.

Puzzle pieces clicking together.

Like, everything is making sense.

Why things happen as they do.

I've noticed that a lot throughout my life.

Challenges turn into lessons.

Doors open, interesting things happen.

The last 2.5 years have had soooo many unexpected happenings.

I can hardly believe it myself, curious little life.

All good stuff, mixed with so much learning - some tough, some easy.

Some magical.

But now, just like spring flowers swirling with autumn air in unison...

My two worlds are swirling.

Like paint in a can, making new colors.

I never ever ever planned for my journey to unfold in the ways it has.

But I guess life happens when you are not looking or planning.

Just minding your business and bam.

And just like that, things make sense.

Why you had this challenge or that.

And, the lessons and gifts are there for the taking, if you are open.

I for one am open to anything

How about you?

Country girl and city girl have never gotten along so well in my world.

I'm settling back into a new normal.

I needed a big break from everything.

I had not had a vacation in almost a decade.

Just hunkered down, doing my work, planting gardens for years.

Hey look at that, he's after a tiny spider.

Eeek!

It's kind of like the basil honey the bees are making.

You never thought about it, and somehow it's amazing.

It all makes sense and works perfectly together.

And when bad things happen, they make the good that much better.

And when good things happen, you are so grateful.

You even appreciate the country more when you change the scenery every now and then.

I guess it's all about finding a balance.

I think about this on my autumnal garden path this morning.

Furs running around.

All of us overjoyed and happy with the cool fresh air.

It clears the mind I suppose.

If you do too much of one thing, at some point you will need something else.

You can't eat peach cobbler every day.

Eventually you'll want cherry or blueberry.

And then one day you'll wake up and be like, I need an everything bagel now!!

Our needs can be so extreme.

So maybe, don't have the same thing every day :-)

Today, try something different.

Who knows, you might like it.

There will always be cobbler, it ain't going anywhere.

 

Happy Autumn!!!

 

Let the magic unfold!!

 

Love, Vanessa

 

 

 

San Francisco♥

Helooooo there!

Oh what a long time no see.

Too long really, but I took forever to go through photos of my latest journey.

Might I warn of the longest post ever with too many photos.

But I had to.

You see -

I went to a place dear to my heart.

Where I went a lot when I was a kid and teen...

In a state I lived half of my life in growing up.

I went north.

Where fog and ocean and wind whip together.

And little trolley's ding up and down streets all day and night.

On a mission of sorts.

To San Francisco for a week.

The view from my hotel room was sublime.

I would open the window and just smell that air.

Ocean and baked goods and salt and sweet.

The scent is unforgettable.

I took sooo many photos to share and it took me ages to go through them all.

What a blast.

Some days I went out with no camera just to enjoy the place again.

The mission was to go to San Fran and surprise my mom who would be there for her birthday.

I boarded a plane with an Irishman.

Quite a thing seeing as how I had sworn off airplanes.

I went everywhere on planes my whole life and then stopped one day.

Well, you all know this.

Found my beloved parcel of earth and got too many furs and gardens to go anywhere for years.

Plus, I didn't want to go.

But as they say, nothing lasts forever and now I'm into airplanes again.

Imagine that?

Well it helps to be on a journey with someone who knows how to fly planes and can save you if need be. Kinda sorta, haha!

And so, we set off to surprise my mom at the ocean...

Boy was she ever surprised beyond words.

Her and my dad cried and so did the guy checking them into the hotel.

We got there early and had some time to bash around town at.

And then, the day my parents were arriving we hid in the café and watched.

Almost missing them entirely.

But we surprised them beyond words at check in.

And went on to have the most glorious trip.

Here are a few places I love...

Cliff House.

Or, the former place where cliff house once sat.

Here is some history about it.

Such a beautiful ocean at this spot...

Lovely vegetation too.

 

Nasturtium at the ocean.

Bliss.

So interesting, read here for the story.

Just love the ocean.

Getting your feet wet.

Finding a drift wood heart.

Yes I brought it home with me.

Mom and I could have stayed there for days, just right in the sand.

Where ocean humidity poofs your hair.

Such beautiful cool weather.

The fog is its own character.

We also drove along to all sorts of places.

Homes I'd like to move into.

And the gaspingly beautiful Palace of Fine Arts.

Not to be missed.

What a place.

I guess you could sit there all day too.

Watch the endless birds & flowers...

Just dreamy beyond words.

You can walk across the street from there and get a beautiful bridge and water view.

Water and mountains and fog.

So much to gasp over.

And then the cafes a plenty.

And Chinatown too.

How can you not go to Chinatown?

Just a variety of fun stuff.

Traditional items and fancy things too.

Bakeries..

And I did run into Zoltar who gave me a fortune.

So fun!

I would not leave my hotel window late at night.

Shivering from the wind.

Smelling that beautiful air.

Listening to the saxophones and trolleys.

The wonderful city sounds.

The fog.

The lights.

I loved my view.

I could have just stayed there.

Shops and cafes and galleries aplenty.

We would run up the hills in the middle of the night.

Panting and laughing.

Incredible sushi and restaurants.

We found an organic grocery store up the street and went shopping.

We made smoothies in the hotel room, so much fun.

Just immersed ourselves in life there for a week.

Hotel De France!

There was something mysterious being filmed in a cathedral.

And beautiful street flowers galore.

We walked to Fisherman's Wharf and had clam chowder and shrimp.

Of course, we had to.

Admiring the buildings all the way down.

We went everywhere and saw it all.

We stayed up too late and walked so much we hobbled.

We stayed at the St. Francis for old time's sake.

As we used to stay there when I was a kid.

The architecture and details are unreal in the city.

This was in Neiman Marcus, ceiling.

Had to snap the new Louis campaign.

And the ceiling in our hotel.

Ah, San Francisco.

I love you.

There are many homeless people.

But they are not mean.

I shared a lot of my groceries and meals with them.

They were nice and you got used to the same people in places day to day.

They almost make the city in a way.

The characters in a place.

Don't they?

I went home in the evening.

Watching the sky.

So, how did a girl who had sworn off flying for years get on a plane?

And enjoy it?

And have the time of her life?

Well, because I'm a worry wart -

And because I can really make myself insane from time to time...

I decided to read Barry McDonagh's book.

Dare.

I read it a month before the trip was even a thought in my mind.

If you are a worry wart, or struggle with anxiety...

I think you should give it a whirl.

It's written by a man who struggled himself and found the light.

Even though I'm a real free bird, happy and in love with life - 

I've been a worry wart as far as I can remember.

I remember being driven to school as a kid and feeling my stomach flip flop.

But I didn't really feel actual panic until that one time when I was 36, when I took a vitamin supplement that made me so ill.

So I do understand that feeling and unfortunately have felt it a couple times in life.

What's funny is I am brave, I do scary big things.

I'm a happy go lucky sort and I enjoy life as much as I can.

I am strong for others and enjoy being helpful when people need me.

But every now and then I can worry with the best of them.

I mean really just freak myself out.

I can be totally zen in the scariest scenarios and worried about silly things for no reason.

I guess we can all be in some ways.

It's part of being human.

Everyone feels it in some way, no one is alone.

So, after being a bit ill from my stomach a few months ago and not feeling myself, and not getting better as quickly as I would have liked & being stressed, I read it. It helped me immensely during a hard time.

I thought the book was life changing and wonderful.

I loved it.

It was simple and comforting.

Acceptance is the key.

Hard times are when we learn so much.

Being good to yourself and accepting.

Allowing yourself to feel instead of fighting feelings.

Mindfulness.

Hey, if it got me on a plane and I enjoyed it, that's saying a lot.

:-)

It's not just for flying, that was just a tiny part of the book.

But I loved it.

I didn't even read it for the flying part, that was just a bonus I didn't see coming.

Needless to say, I had the best time ever on my trip.

I got on a plane, I surprised my mom for her birthday and we had a magical time.

And I enjoyed the plane just like I did before I swore them off.

Maybe more.

Life goes by very fast, and I just want to enjoy the people I love more than ever.

That's what I've been doing the last couple of years.

Living my life, enjoying it, growing with changes and spending time with those I love.

Anywhooooo...

That was the longest blog post in history.

What else...

I am loving journaling.

Writing your thoughts really is hugely cathartic.

I've been painting my gypsy wagon, painting paintings and drawing a lot.

The garden is huge and green and I hope to start coming back here more often.

I really do.

Life is good.

Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.

And it will.

Even when you think there is no way.

There is.

 

Lots of love, 

 

Vanessa

 

 

 

 

 

Petals + Dreams + Colorful Days of May

The busiest garden days are upon us.

They bring the dreamiest petals, endless gifts.

All the beautiful colors.

The tiniest winged creatures & their wings catching the light.

The sun at different hours of the day casting a glow in different ways.

It's all a perfect recipe for dreaming.

For thinking about what's next on the menu.

What would you like to do?

Have you given up on your dreams?

Or are they dancing around you, just waiting for you to pluck one and plunge?

The garden has so many of those answers.

It dreams for you.

It serves you beautiful platters of inspiration.

It begs you to drag your easel out and paint amongst the birds and bees.

It says...

Here, take these miraculous incredible gifts I have for you.

Green stems with petals on top.

Wrapping round and round, scented too.

Is it a dream?

It's a living day dream, isn't it?

The rows of roses mingle with cactus at the front gates.

The snapdragon scent floats around, making you blissfully discombobulated.

Or maybe it's just the dizziness from swinging on the swing, so fast and so high.

The hummingbirds come right up to you.

Hello.

The sun illuminates their beautiful colors.

It's all too good.

It's just too good.

This beautiful time of magical spring.

When all you can whisper is, thank you...

The hummers steal from the spiders...

Treats from waiting webs.

And I think to myself, maybe I can hear the ruffles of snapdragons singing.

What a place, a garden.

I know so many of you have gardens too, so I know you understand.

The beauty, the joy in it all.

The colors just take my breath away.

I lounge in the garden chaise just watching it all happen.

As birds fight for lunch.

Cardinal swoops in for sunflower seeds.

Doves hang around their girl's nest.

Keeping watch (I love that).

And delphiniums that turned from blue to white are blue again.

The fresh soil must have replenished the acidity.

As the sun begins to set colors take on a more wonderland hue.

Hummingbirds zip around doing somersaults in the air.

The dogs chase each other and I do my pruning.

Always offering the cuttings too spent for vases to the garden angel.

I love that moment where the sky turns so blue that everything looks fluorescent.

My place of peace and dreams.

I know I know, I say I'm done planting and then all my new dahlia tubers arrive.

I have been enjoying working on some paintings lately.

I've even been softening clay and playing with jewelry beads.

Who knows what I might pull out of my rabbit's hat.

My life has been on the craziest journey of wonderful happenings.

Sometimes it's hard to invite even good things into your life when you are not one who likes change.

But when you do, who knows the exciting and lovely things you may find?

It's not so easy to be open to life flowing when you are cozy in your shell.

But living in the day to day moment is really such a beautiful concept.

As they say, the past is history and the future is just an invented story.

But we always have the now.

Embracing the now and new things it might bring.

The most important thing we can do for ourselves.

We worry about things that don't even make sense, don't we?

The what if's.

Which rarely happen.

So why not just enjoy the moment?

Last year I told myself that my new motto was always keep moving forward.

And not in big ways, but little ways.

Like, go hiking, go to the book store and find something new to read.

Always something that keeps the flow of life going.

Jump into your parent's 60' pool in your pajamas.

Dance, just put on some music you love and dance.

Try a new recipe, plant a new plant, or seeds.

See how we can do tiny things to keep moving forward and keep the flow of the stream going?

It's so important.

All the little things mean more than anything.

The now, the little things.

Just my two cents.

But hey, it can't hurt, can it?

We can all try.

Being mindful of our own well being is so important.

<3

 

Lots of love,

Vanessa

 

 

 

 

ps:

I forgot to share my kinda ugly kookie Easter tree.

Makes me so happy.

I'm going to leave it up year round and just change it for the holidays.

It's a smaller skinny tree (6ft) that I flocked myself with a non-toxic flocking powder, a sieve and a water filled spray bottle.

I'll change it up for summer and 4th of July next <3

 

Beautiful Days + Fresh Snapshots + Life Chatter

Oh such beautiful winter days we're having.

Sunlight and cool air.

Warm sun rays.

A few flowers bobbing around.

It's been so hard to come here because my camera has not been working.

It's given me a whole year of grief but the last few months were the worst.

My beloved professional camera who has been through so much.

Rebuilt after I dropped it.  Years of pics.

A new motherboard.

But now it has ceased to exist and a new fellah has taken its place.

Yep, new camera days are here.

So, here we go, let's see how this bad boy works.

It has me chasing sunsets...

Noticing all the different shades of green.

Looking for all different kinds of sunlight.

Paparazzi-ing the 35 little birds that live in my rose arbor.

Watching clouds and snow and...

Of course, harassing my beloved children.

Watching the little guardian.

Ears up, ready to pounce.

Little birds lined up on electrical wires.

And you can imagine my glee when the sky turns purple and neon pink.

Snap, and snap.

Fire light through bushes.

Candy sky dreams.

Moon wishes.

And garden twinkle lights.

So, here we go.

A new camera era & fresh snaps for the bloglette.

I'm iffy about change, although embracing it more as I get older.

Still, a new camera investment is always a crazy adventure.

Sooooo, it should be fun.

I'll be back to enjoying taking photos & sharing them with you.

Instagram is easy to get used to, just a phone pic and you post, voila.

You can find me there all the time.

But actually taking your camera out for picture taking is a whole different kind of experience.

Is it becoming a lost art in the age of phone pic ease?

I had forgotten how incredible it is.

So, hooray.

New camera.

The days have been so dreamy here, great weather.

Not hot, but sunny and cool.

I watched Bright Lights on HBO did you?

It was so good and heartbreaking.

Then I followed it up with Carrie Fisher's stage production of Wishful Drinking.

So good.

I was left very pensive after watching those two back to back.

(I watched them through Amazon with the HBO add on)

At how much we have to embrace and love every little morsel of life.

How fleeting it all is.

Living life as full as we can is everything.

That's why I spent a bunch of cash on winter flowers.

Hahaha!

Excuses excuses.

But really, it's true.

Find things that will bring you joy and do them.

Not to get all wacky weird, but once when I was around 18 or 19 I had my first traumatic break up where I totally lost myself. But that break up turned out to be the best thing ever ever ever because I was so sad that I was forced to get off the floor and find myself or die from pain.

And so I searched and searched.

And finally one day I asked myself, Vanessa, what would you like to do today?

What would make you happy?

And so I put canvases all over the floor of my garage and splattered paint.

I even put paint on my feet and ran all over the canvases.

Then I went to the garden center and bought tons of plants.

And thus started my journey with the healing power of the garden.

The point is, I stopped and asked myself the question.

What would you like to do today, what do you enjoy?

Not what do you want to do with your life.

But what would you like to do in this moment.

I think that's how you build a map to yourself.

You find all the things you love in life, and no matter how your world might get rocked...

You can easily go back to those things that your heart loves.

It's important to have a youness that you can turn to.

Don't you agree Eunice? ;-)

In the Words of Meryl...

"As my friend, the dear departed Princess Leia, said to me once,

'Take your broken heart, make it into art.' "

Hear Hear!

Heart art for always I say.

Broken or not.

For a healthy heart, make art!!

That's my newly, just now invented, motto.

Insert copyright, haha!

Wanna join me?

I'm gonna write it on my wall asap.

Ok so, have a fabbbb day!

And now I can be back sooner since I have a new partner in crime.

A dandy lil' photograph snapper to help document my adventures.

Yay!

 

Looove, V

 

 

 

Welcome January♥

Happy New Year my friends!

I always love January don't you?

I love the fresh vibe it brings.

And even though it's still chilly and cozy days, it has a certain crisp newness.

I think it's so important to do nice things for oneself.

I love buying flowers, so on a very rainy dark day I brought these home.

Instant joy.

Couple of baubles still rolling around.

But for the most part I've put the holidays away.

I love lighting my candles in the evening.

The glow makes me so happy.

Little snippets of happiness can make such a difference.

My pink amaryllis not only got super tall but bloomed white.

Which I thought was so pretty and unexpected.

Stars get to stay for always.

Little bits of magic mean everything to me.

2016 was a very interesting & wonderful year.

I spent the year doing really special things for myself.

I hiked almost every single morning, jumped on my trampoline and took care of me.

I actually started doing daily activities in December of 2014.

Then I got bored and ventured farther and farther outside my home.

(or is it further?)

Until going up big hills became my greatest joy.

All things that are carrying over into 2017 because they've become part of what makes me happy.

In fact I just got back from the hills a little while ago.

I now yearn for fresh air and heaving lungs.

I went so many places and really lived it up this year.

I love my home in the country, my dogs, my garden, the mountains.

But I found out, you can add things to your life.

You don't have to take things away and change it entirely.

But you can add things to make it that much sweeter.

I'm not one who loves change, so the idea of adding things to my life worked out really well.

The most important thing is that, somehow my two worlds of city girl country girl have melded.

It's been great.

And, as it has been reiterated in my life over and over again...

I continue following the important path of being good to me.

Searching for light and love always.

And being my own cheerleader.

Happiness has been my number one goal since I was 18 years old.

Life is hard and so, I choose happy.

Sometimes I let sad in for balance :-)

My dad says you need to cry and laugh everyday.

They say there are a lot of toxins expelled in tears and I believe it.

I like happy tears too.

Peace of mind and soul is so good.

When I was young girl my dad used to tell me that you have to try to be brave and talk to yourself.

Grab yourself and talk to yourself he'd say.

So I do.

It's the most interesting thing, talking to yourself.

Do you do that?

When I get anxious or overwhelmed I talk to myself.

I tell myself good things out loud.

It's not always easy.

(sometimes you have to repeat good things to yourself a lot)

I tell myself to be strong and that everything will be okay.

And by golly, somehow it works.

It really works.

You can choose happiness.

One day on NPR not long ago, I was hearing about how easy it is to choose sadness and misery.

How as human beings we have become so accustomed to unhappiness that we cling to it and actually even sabotage happiness when it presents itself to us.

Imagine that?

I'm here to tell you, if you decide to be strong and good to yourself...

If you tell yourself you are brave  instead of breaking yourself down about all the things you don't like about yourself...

You will be happy.

Maybe not 100% happy, but happier for certain.

And when you are happy you can do great things.

Like be creative.

Creativity, the joy of life.

How neat is that?

I've put  positives into action and they work.

I'm telling you.

They work.

So, for 2017 I'll continue to choose happiness and kindness.

And I'll start by continuing to be nice to me, which transfers to being nice to others by default.

Wooow, what a ramble.

But there you go.

My simple and true thoughts for the new year.

Sending you buckets of goodness!

Believe.

Smile.

Choose joy.

Love yourself as best as you can.

At least try I say.

I think it's the only path to some level of contentment.

And don't we all really want that?

 xoxoxo

 

Love, V

 

 

Here comes Halloween...

Hello helooo!

My favorite time of year is here.

Only thing is, we are in an extended summer so it's hard to convince me that it's October.

Still, I'm playing with pumpkins and having some fun.

I've been very busy with real world things.

Like endless classes to keep up my license from my previous career.

I've kept it going for 15 years, no sense it letting it lapse now.

It's good to have in your back pocket.

But the every two year courses are brutal (boring and lonnng) and as you know, I'm rotten and don't like the real world.

I'd much rather play and sip tea and paint and draw and have a jolly ole time.

Good news is, I'm done until 2018, woo hooo!

So, I hereby proclaim full Halloween immersion beginning now.

I intend to watch endless spooky movies and live in a pumpkin the next week and a half.

I have so many fond memories of childhood Halloween.

It was like a block party of costume magical goodness.

All the family members got involved, it was so much fun.

Every house was decorated, everyone joined in.

And, it was safe.

Like a giant harvest festival of dreams.

That's pretty much why I love Halloween so much.

All the good memories and enchantment of it all.

It was such a wonderful time in my childhood, so I adore it.

My dining room has been very pastel the last month.

Probably because it's so hot still, that the autumn transition has not yet taken place.

I wanted autumn fun but adapted it to hot days colors.

However, it's time to spookify things a bit.

Soooo, here I go!

Into Halloween goodnesssss.

Lots of folks have asked about the Halloween party this year.

I know, it's really kind of like, were out of time?!?

Ooops!

Let's do the time warppppp!

I've just been so busy and I'm still tending garden full time because of the heat.

I feel like I'm in an odd time warp of endless summer.

I'm ready for a vacay from summer.

I'm soooo excited for chilly days to find us desert dwellers somehow.

It's time for a break from the land of endless sun.

I'm melttiiiinnnggggg (insert cackle).

Can autumn find us before the 31st?

I sure hope so!!

 

Love, Vanessa

 

Autumn Air & Magazine Winners

It's happening isn't it?

It's in the air, that wonderful crispness.

Cold at night, hot at noon.

Blanket chilly at midnight, sleeping with windows open.

Pumpkins hanging around, all 4 somehow making it.

I've never had so many pumpkins on a vine.

I'm not sure what's going on but there are about 15 out there.

I've never seen 4 in a row.

And all I did was take seeds out of a rotting white jack-be-little from last year and plunked them in a huge pot.

Granted it had fresh amazing compost soil, so that could have been it.

But I think it's magic seeds for sure.

We are all loving the weather.

The boys are in heaven.

Not roasting to death in their little furry costumes anymore.

I've been all over the place.

Visiting with visitors from Ireland, adding new cards to the shop.

Bathing dogs.

Trying to organize my life.

The last year I've taken a ton of time for myself.

Everyday hikes, lots of play time and shopping and refueling.

Enjoying the heck out of life.

I love watching the butterflies.

I find I have this pattern where I go non stop doing things for 8 years and then all of a sudden one day I take a year off.

I did it 8 years ago and now again in 2016.

I really really needed some back to the real world time.

I didn't even know I needed it until I had a chance encounter with someone special in May of 2015.

That kind of jolted me out of the rabbit hole and into the world.

It's been so much fun.

But now I feel the shift again, where I am so refueled I can get back to my art and blogging more often again.

Although I have been painting a bit throughout the year.

I have a place in the city where I can go to and paint so I'm not always a country house hermit.

Thanks to Mister Lovee who tends my gardens and watches the boys.

I can go out and live a bunch.

Have some freedom.

It's been amazing.

Lots of changes and lots of the sames.

But all good stuff.

And somehow it's autumn again.

Just a few days away.

I don't live in time anymore I've noticed.

I don't care about my age or time.

I just live and try to enjoy the moment.

Not always easy, but we have to try.

Pumpkin blossoms and garden spells are swirling up.

A fresh new season, how exciting is that?

The madness of the next 3 months is overwhelming, but I love it.

I just takes lots of deep breaths and plunge.

I love the ups and downs of life.

The twists and turns and the beauty of it all.

Thanks for being here.

There.

Kindred friends.

It's always delightful meeting up with you.

See ya sooner than the last time.

 

Love, V

 

 

 

 

ps:  The winners of the magazine (I picked up 4 to gift away) are...

(chosen by random number generator)

#3 Laura's Favorite things!

#19 Dawn the Bohemian!

#17 Laura, Dogsmom!

#12 Cyndie Crow Brown!!

 

Okay friends, just email me your snail mail addresses and I will pop your magazines in the mail.

([email protected])

Thank you everyone who joined in the fun!!  <3 <3 <3

 

 

Save

Of Sunny Days & Ruffled Petals

Hello my friends!

The sunniest days of the year are upon us.

The taste of warm breeze and petal air swirls madly.

The first round of roses has gone as a second starts to turn up.

Hollyhocks and cosmos jump in just in time.

We've had the most scrumptious evenings.

It's been downright chilly at night in the desert and very warm in the day.

Perfect chaise lounge weather for tanning legs and reading novels at sunset.

The rabbits tried to obliterate the hollyhocks so I made open top cages and voila.

The hollyhocks are saved.

Precious paper ruffled heirlooms.

Love them so.

Tea party season is on my mind.

I'm coming up with dates and ideas.

The veggie garden was gobbled again this year.

However, the tomatoes are okay so far.

There must be about a hundred out there, yippeeee!

And up go the fairytale pumpkin vines.

I lost them last year to javelinas breaking in.

These are the last of my own seeds from my 6 or 7 times pumpkin grandbabies.

Fingers crossed that they don't get munched!

We watch and wait and let cherry tomatoes burst in our mouths.

There is nothing like the flavor of a fresh organic tomato right out of the garden.

Flavor like no other.

And so, now we enjoy the garden shift from spring to summer.

So much to do, so much to do.

I've been major spring cleaning.

Shipping out the creatures from the last post with lots of love.

Painting, spending a couple days a week in the city.

Just changing my scenery up, antiquing, going to cafes.

It's great, I love it.

I love the reboot by escaping the country here and there.

It's sooooo important to do things you love from time to time.

I love the country solitude, I need that too.

So, I'm feeling lucky I've been doing both, finding that balance.

I need my antiquing & junking, and most shops are dog friendly.

The one thing is though, I have so much stuff, that now I just enjoy looking and only buy something that I might find utterly spectacular.

Miley (golden) comes with me.

Matty (brown dog) is too mean and doesn't like people so I can't take him.

But Miley is a joy to all and loves on every single person he can.

I adore Matty soooo much, I wish that he was easier for his own good.

Breaks my heart really.

But he is who he is, and we let him be his weird little self.

He's happiest in his little world, guarding his kingdom.

The hatter and him go out for burgers, wrestle, play wild dog games a lot, and bonus, have the same personality so all is well with the world, hahaha!

I'm glad they hold down the fort so Miley and I can go play.

Miley had a bath today, what a job!

But he looks crazy handsome, just in time for a nice outing.

Now I'm just babbling nonsense.

 

So, I'll say, have a fabulous weekend!!

 

3 days of fun, wooo hoooo!

Be safe.

See you soon.

 

Love, Vanessa

 

 

 

Rose Season & Other Tales♥

It's rose season in this desert land.

Oh so many lovelies turning up for the occasion.

Bliss bliss bliss.

It's a big job with over 38 rose bushes, what was I thinking?

No but really, I don't mind it at all.

I love it actually.

I prune away so that I get more and more.

Keep everyone fresh and thriving.

I love tending my roses, it's so zen.

Such a wonderful way to literally enjoy each one.

I make bundles to dry and share huge vases full with loved ones.

Some of the rose bushes are floribunda, so they make these wonderful clusters.

I just can't ever get over the amazingness of flowers.

What incredible earthly delights.

Beauties.

Sigh.

They make me ever so happy.

I'm sure the cottage feels fancy in spring too.

Gifted all these petals.

I chase the sun.

Golden hour is always the best, as I've said a million times before.

My favorite thing is when the light hits just right and you can see little insects with their perfect tiny wings flying about. It's truly magical.

The sun was so hot last week that it scorched roses like mad.

But then it got super cool, and today it's downright chilly here.

Bizarre crazy place.

The Betty Boop roses below were never my faves but now they kind of are.

With their watercolor dipped edges.

I tucked so many rose bushes in at every turn, it's so nice to see them all doing so well.

Vintage 3-wheel Schwinn garden rounds are the best.

Especially when it's fairy lights o'clock.

And the music is on and the spring breeze is swirling scents around.

And you just faint from joy.

But not before you zip off in bluest evening light...

Through the arbor and front garden, past the giant oleanders into the gypsy garden.

Where gypsy wagon lights go on at sundown.

Dogs chase each other while a certain mad hatter plays his mandolin.

Dinner cooks on the cast iron stove.

I make grilled salsa, our fave.

I swing and swing from my tree as food cooks, trying to convince myself that you can't take extended vacations from life, in life, in your own house.

Or can you?

I guess you can, but I'm enjoying the enjoyments of life a bit too much, truth be told.

I have no one to enforce any rules upon me.

Well, I did have to do my taxes, yuck.

But my old demanding self left the building and she just wants to have fun you see.

So, I guess the consensus is...

This is what happens when Pippi Longstockings grows up.

I guess I better strap some bars of soap to my feet and clean my darned house.

Because it's out of control.

Miles went on a mini trip with me and we had a blast last weekend.

I meet a dear friend at the end of every week for a lunch date, so I always look forward to that.

Anywhooooo, what's up out there in the world?

Did you get freaky spring snow?

It rained here today which was not expected.

At least not by me :-)

Anywho, life is grand over here.

I'm having too much fun doing lots of this and that.

I best get my act together soon, lest a sink hole eats me up because I've had way too much fun.

These are the things that go through my mind you see.

Sending lots of love!

See you real soon.

xoxo,

Vanessa

 

ps:  Oh I forgot to say, I did have this rotten nightmare happen where I lost 10 years of files last week (external hard drive). All my pics, all my art - everything, todo, all of it. But I managed to scrounge up enough old files to piece some manner of sense together to keep plugging along in my shop etc. So, somehow it's coming together.  The neat thing about getting older is you come to this point where you go, oh heck, who really cares, I just can't be bothered! Hahaha!  I mean honestly, this is the gift of age I guess.  Where you just cope with things much better, after a proper freak out of course ;-)

Point is, that's where I've been regarding computer land.

But you can always find A Fanciful Twist on Instagram, so there's that.

Like if you really miss me :-)

 

pps: I responded to comments within comments in my previous post, I hope that works.

I need to install an app that makes all that easier and notifies you that I've responded <3

 

 

Sweet Blooming

Oh, it's beautiful outside these days.

Beautiful wonderful days.

And grand, great huge surprises in the form of...

Fruit blossoms.

My now 3 year old volunteer peach tree has first & huge incredible blossoms.

It's a baby of the 30+ year old peach tree.

If you think of what it takes in necessary cold days and water to get a peach pit to germinate, well, it's just miraculous really (especially here in the land of sun). It decided to be born in a perfect bed in the veggie garden. A gift from nature to be sure.

And blossoming so early in its life.

Just wow.

The bees flutter by as Miles sniffs and licks the blooms himself.

Miley, let your mother take your picture I say.

Come on open your eyes Miley.

I can't, the sun is too bright.

:-)

Beautiful sweet soul.

Lucky me for getting to love him so.

My entire being is smiling on these earliest of almost spring days.

Those fresh tender petals and leaves are just beyond words.

Isn't it such a wonderful time?

I know some of you aren't here yet, so I took these with you in mind.

Lots going on in the land of sun.

The matthiolas are ruffled as ever.

Like layers of frosting, loving the cool mornings.

Perfect pale pink.

Delphiniums reach for the sky, as I wait wait wait.

Can't wait for them to open.

I hear the light crunching of my tiny shadow.

Right behind me as always, ready to run for fear of being grabbed.

Please Matty just one pic, please?

Snap.

He is soooo loveable, but only when he feels like it.

All the other times, I let him be his skittish kooky self.

He follows me to my new favorite place.

Marveling at the volunteer.

We stroll around listening to the endless chatter of hummingbirds.

The loud single chirps of the cardinals.

The silent quick moves of the vermillion fly catchers.

I turn on the irrigation and like early morning clock work...

Whether it's my hose or the sprinkler, the hummies are ready for a bath.

So cute.

I looooove bath time.

Sweeties, aren't they?

They follow us around, flower to flower.

Miley running ahead with his giant log, Matty behind me quietly mimicking my steps.

Carolina jasmine droops with flowers as wisteria flowers form.

Oh my!!

It's happening.

I'm giddy, I can't help it.

I pruned my 38 rose bushes just in time because the warmth came in and made them explode with new leaves.

It's excitement overload for a garden lover I tell ya.

The plum trees are all blossoms too.

The bees are in heeeeaven.

I watch them, inspired to paint them.

They have all sorts of funny maneuvers.

I end with my obsession.

Sweet tree.

About 3 or 4 years old.

I think the first year it was hidden in the tomatillos.

When I noticed it I just let marigolds self seed around it.

And now...

Bliss blooms.

Creating joy for furry and non furry creatures all around.

(and can you believe there are 3 other peach volunteers coming up, it's amazing, but it's what happens when you put your peach pits in the compost)

Haha!

What glorious delicious weather.

Such beautiful days.

I'm painting outside, finishing some clay pieces I started in early winter.

I really enjoyed my unintended year off of making lots of things.

I hadn't even realized I needed it.

I guess no vacations for 9 years can do that to you.

I still made art, but not like I had years before.

It was a wonderful amazing year filled with sooo many happenings.

I really needed it, I'm so refueled I'm bursting.

Even my joy vaults are all full.

Now I'm all inspired and making things with mad delight.

I hiked and hiked and hiked my heart out for a year and 2 months.

Then...

I had 3 scary incidences with weirdos in the last 2 weeks, and the last one was very creepy and could have been bad but I reacted early as I stay very alert on my surroundings and escaped being grabbed. Horrible.

I was refusing to be hindered by fear, but creepy men chasing you or trying to get you in their motor home kind of changes your perspective.

I decided it was definitely time for change.

Soooooo...

I ordered a giant trampoline for my garden.

I'm so excited.

And I'll only go hike with people now instead of alone.

I had a giant trampoline and pool my whole life until I moved off to be an adult.

I looove doing hills but weirdos are weirdos.

I like weirdos, but scary men in the middle of nowhere, not so much.

Man, they sure take the fun out of fun.

I love running my garden track & walking & other stuff.

But I need some other excitement too.

Soooo, jumping it is.

And maybe it's time for a lap pool?

I can't wait to jump.

Two more days.

Then I jump.

For now it's paint and blooms and dogs and clay.

And looooots of furry hugs and kisses.

How are you out there in the world?

What's going on out there?

I'm in the sun listening to the Lost in the Dream album by War on Drugs.

I love refinding songs in my Ipod that I enjoy.

 

Lovely days indeed.

xoxo

 

Love, V

 

 

 

 

Of Tea & Floral Porcelain ♥

It's a lovely autumn day.

Sunny sky, crisp air & feeling well again.

Hooray!

Thanks for the good vibes, I think they worked!!

And of course, we must leave a thank you to...

Tea.

What a special thing.

I've had ever so much tea the last 8 days.

And who thought up the fanciest ways to sip the amazing leafy blends?

Brilliant.

Wouldn't you say?

The cups themselves amp up the ritual to a whole other level of joy.

I celebrated my restored lungs with the most incredible war wonton soup last night.

(I'm still dreaming about it)

And pot after pot of tea.

Filled over and over by the loveliest kindest little gal I ever did meet.

I've sipped so many cups of lemon ginger tea, I stopped counting.

The world is a fresh sparkly place when you feel well again, isn't it?

So, I just wanted to pop in and say hola!

As I pack my bag to go to a few estate sales.

On the never ending hunt for floral porcelain joys.

As we all know, the hunt is part of the magic.

 

I really just wanted to pop in and say helooooo♥

It's a lovely day, isn't it?

 

Hope you are doing quite well.

Better than well really.

♥

Off I go for now

Love, V

 

 

Of Pencil and Petal

Hello helooooo!

Hi friends!

I am still in my drawing tunnel.

I am in the last crunch time of my illustration deadline, but I wanted to pop in and say heloooo!

How are you?

What's going on out there?

It finally got crrrrrazy Arizona hot here.

So hot that blooming roses get torched just as they try to bloom.

Poor things.

They are still so pretty though aren't they?

Here's a peek at some of my little faces.

I have stacks and stacks of illustrations and lots of scanning I am doing down.

The dinner plate dahlias are blooming and bobbing with their heavy weight.

The heat is making vines twist and twirl.

It's really happening.

Summer is just in time for itself.

I love the fluffers.

Coral pink goodness.

I wish I had photographed the roses below as they changed...

They start out bright canary yellow, then they turn neon orange.

Then all of a sudden they turn almost white with red edges.

And so many clusters too.

They were a gift so I have no idea what their name is, but they sure do go through lots of color changes.

Fun fun!

So, I best get back to work.

I brought some blooms in and am making tea.

I've been up the hills before 6 a.m. & tended my gardens.

Phhhew!

:-)

Time to work, wish me luck.

I am feeling like I might be beginning to fight a cold or something.

Noooooooo!

Haha!

I am not good at colds so I hope the massive amounts of vitamin C does the trick and I avoid the whole thing.

For now I am back to work and loving the poor fresh bloomed dried roses.

I still keep them because they are so lovely.

June is slipping right by isn't it?

My room is in disarray as a pipe in the kitchen wall burst and flooded my room on the other side.

Hello things under the bed floating around, aaaaack!

It's all dry now, and although it's still a bit torn up and walls are cut open, it's dry.

Today pipes will get cut open and on we'll go.

If nothing else my floor is sure clllllleeeean!

I've been through this before at the city house a few years ago.

The whole house had to be ripped open then, every single room.

Good thing that's not the case here in the country.

Knock on wood.

So, when I walked into my room yesterday and it looked like a room in the Titanic I just stared blankly.

Just looked at it, shrugged my shoulders and said, I best get some towels.

Hahaha!

That's the good part about getting older.

Things just don't throw you over the edge like they used to.

You just say, oh great.

And then you just go with the flow like Eeyore.

So, I guess that's good about being older and wiser etc.

 

It's still a beautiful day.

No biggie in the grand scheme of life at all.

It's shiny and hot out with lots of garden growing going on.

I hope your day is fabulous!!

Love, V

 

 

 

 

Scarlet Pink Magazine + Instagram + A Giveaway

It's gorgeous outside!

Do you feel so happy in autumn?

I sure do.

Even the setting sun becomes mysterious in its burnt orange and golden glow.

The days are about 90'F and the nights about 70'F at 9 p.m.

All I want to do is sit under the big twinkly tree or swing in the hammock.

Absorbing these days of October.

I feel like I always have to fight for my October days as I am being catapulted towards the holidays faster than fast.

I love the holidays, but...

I need my autumn too, what about you?

Oh oh...

Guess what I went and did?

Wait, to back track...

As you know a few years ago I left city life for the country.

I traded cocktail parties for growing seeds in the garden.

I didn't have phone or television.

I finally got television channels last year.

But I was really resisting a more modern day cell phone.

Alas, I plunged last week.

And now I am officially on Instagram too.

Instagram.com/afancifultwist

I know I know, I have been years late to all social media.

I really fought it.

Now I don't even know why?

I just wanted to paint and plant things in the country after leaving city life.

Be less connected I guess.

I only joined Facebook last year or so.

But I am pretty much over those feelings of solitude these days.

Haha!

My sister made me an Instagram account when she was here a few months ago.

So, now I can use it.

I am having a ball!

No wonder you all love it so much :-)

Little snapshots of this and that's, I love it, so easy and fun!

Everyone's excited about it, it seems, even the butters ;-)

I love that you can post super short little videos too.

Fun fun!

Alsoooooo...

Something wonderful and exciting.

We were featured in this stunning magazine called Scarlet Pink.

Anna Brahms' dolls are on the cover.

Her work is beyond!

Amazing.

I shared oodles of Halloween goodies from my little world on the pages...

Fun fun times!

There are sooo many beautiful bits of art and goodness in this magazine.

My gooooodnesss indeedy!

Sooooooooo...

Guess what?

I am giving a Scarlet Pink magazine away to one of  you.

Yep.

Sure am :-)

Just leave a comment saying anything you want.

Like...

What you love about autumn.

Or...

What was the last song you danced to?

Anything!

 

This magazine is a real treat I tell ya.

A mysterious and curious gem!

Just what the heart needs for inspiration

 

I'll pick a name out of the hat in a couple days!

 

Looooove,

V

 

 

 ps:  Even the back of the magazine is beautiful....

 

pss or pps:

Here come the marigolds, just in time!

 

Of Pirate Treasure, Wigs & other Antics

There have been some childhood stories fluttering back and forth this week.

Some rotten, some hilarious.

I think I was just misunderstood as a kid.

You see, from the get go, I was obsessed with treasure.

Loot.

Jewels.

Sparkly things.

I think it all began in the Pirate's of the Caribbean ride in Disneyland.

(Me and a goofy face in Disneyland)

Where you drift by these huge open treasure chests of gleaming goodness.

Gold and jewels pouring out.

Heaps of loot everywhere.

If only I could reach!

I would fantasize about going into the ride late at night and filling my back pack with treasure.

I think I wanted the treasure much more deeply than anyone could have imagined.

I thought to myself, when I grow up, I will have treasure!

Endless treasure, you wait and see!

(That was the retro kitchen of a red brick ginger bread house we lived in until I was 6/7, it had the most spooooky library, will tell you about it during ghost story time in October.  Mom wishes they had never sold that house, it was on a great big hill (the only hill) in an idyllic neighborhood with lots of kids playing everywhere. Then we moved to the middle of nowhere, where I went on mine adventures by myself, eeeks!)

Maybe I'll even have a cave somewhere, like in the Goonies.

And stack my treasure all greedily in there.

Piling it higher and higher until I am lost forever.

In my glorious treasure!

These were my thoughts...

While other kids were dreaming of baby dolls and such.

I was literally scheming up plans for acquiring treasure.

I wore lots of rings and necklaces too.

Once, when I was 5 or 6, we were at a sea side pier and I begged for a ring.

You see, there was a man selling oysters and inside of each oyster was a pearl.

So you would fish out your own oyster, open it up, and find a pearl.

He would then set it in a 14k gold ring.

Of course, I needed this or I would stop breathing.

(I was a tad dramatic back then, so glad I grew out of that, hee hee)

So...

I begged my dad.

And then...

I got the ring.

Little rascal!

And I still have it.

After all these years, I am so happy it survived.

32 years?

My little pearl ring.

But wait!!

I veer!

I was going to tell tell you how, in the midst of treasure...

I found out about...

WIGS!

Glorious fluffy things!

I neeeeeeded one.

Or two, or ten!

:-)

I begged for a wig.

I needed a wig more than anything on earth, I was convinced.

I thought my life would end if I didn't have a wig.

I was 8.

On weekends we would sometimes go stay in a hotel in Tucson.

My parents would take us for fun.

We lived an hour away.

As you drove in through downtown Tucson there was a wig shop.

I begged, I pleaded for what felt like years.

But how long could it have been really, if I was only 8?

Finally, one day, angel voices sounded in my ears, as my parents agreed.

I was going to the Wig-o-Rama!!

I walked into the wig shop where there were endless fountains of hair streaming from here to there.

I looked around.

Carefully.

Quietly.

Amazed.

And then, I chose the one.

Did I choose long blonde locks of Rapunzel like hair?

Or, pink shiny tendrils of knee length curls?

Nope.

No way.

I chose...

Auburn, curly, shoulder length.

I always find that so funny.

With all those choices, that is what I felt I needed.

The shape was much like the gal in Flashdance, and I loved it.

When we got to the hotel I promptly filled the tub with hot water and a container of shampoo.

Bang bang bang on the door!

Vanessa, what are you doing in there?

Nothing!

Vanessa, open this door right now.

I was so annoyed.

All I wanted to do was wash my wig.

The banging on the door was really taking the Zen out of my wig washing.

I plopped it in the water and swished it all around.

Falalalala...

I was in bliss.

Bang Bang Bang on the door.

Vanessa, open this door! What in the heck are you doing in there??

All the other kids are out in the pool playing.

And you are in here doing God knows what with this ridiculous wig?

Huge sigh.

I was so serious about my wig.

It dried like a wet rat.

No more curl, no more shine.

Just dull and dry, with a smell like crusty old pasta sauce.

Faintly garlic like too.

Even so, my wig came in handy for me time and time again throughout my childhood.

With my costume obsession...

I wore it for a stint on our roof while my parents were out of town.

(the only place the nanny/housekeeper couldn't get to me)

I always hear the story of how my parents were driving back into town...

Looking at the house in the distance, and thinking, who the heck is on our roof?

With curly reddish hair??

It was me.

In my wig and a cape.

If I didn't amuse myself, who would, I ask you?

I began collecting little things back then too.

I would search out the gold mines around our property.

Not inside, as it was deadly dangerous.

But around the outsides.

I would take Slim Jims, canned Pringles and mini 7-ups into the desert with me.

Healthy sustenance.

Searching rock after rock.

Adding to my loot.

And...

To my wigs.

Quite sound and sensible things, I thought.

Yes yes, I grew into a collector of all manner of sound and sensible things.

For example...

About 9 years ago, when I was a business gal, I got a call on my phone.

That phone rang all day- morning, noon and night I tell ya.

It was a private builder who was one of my clients.

Vanessa, where are you?  I need to talk to you about something with the house on blah blah blah street.

Oh well, I am at Annabelle's Attic, the antique store.

(I would shop in between appointments you see)

So, he said he would meet me there.

What are you doing here he asked, do you collect antiques?

Oh, just looking around I said.

I remember being really distracted by what he was saying because of a little faun boy head I spied in a glass case.

Can I see that, pointing at faun boy head, I asked the salesperson.

Sterling silver?

Ridiculously priced?

Faun boy head?

I'll take it.

I need it.

My client just looked at me.

You're buying that?

Why?

Me:  I need it.

Just like I needed the little ring.

The auburn wig.

The endless loot.

He just shrugged his shoulders and kept talking.

But I was more than smitten with my little sterling silver faun boy head.

I think he needs a silver polish rag sometime soon :-)

Another time my parents were out of town I got into my mom's safe.

I put on gobs and gobs of her real gold stuff.

Diamonds and emeralds are what I chose.

Then I was picked up to go out for pizza with some friends and their parents.

Every adult was staring at me.

They must be amazed at my jewels I thought.

I was so proud of my sparkle.

The next day I hear the phone ring, then my mom scream...

Vanessssssssaaaaaaaaa, were you wearing my jewelry at Pizza Hut last night?

So and so told me they saw you all decked out in jewels not fit for a 10 year old?!!

Me:

Oh no mom, I would never do that.

Why would I ever do that?

No no, they are crazy.

Hee hee.

:-)

So, this brings me to today.

So many other stories lost along the way.

However.

It comes to how all those things create the person we become.

Define us in little and big ways.

Mold and form who we are.

Why my obsession with loot and mannequins and treasure and old things and rocks?

I just don't know.

It just stuck.

And so, now I am the girl with mannequins and wigs bursting out of her sheds.

So many mannequins, so little time.

Amongst drums and art and and and.

Somehow, along the way, Becky lost a few fingers.

Darn Becky, why can't you mind your fingers?!

No new wig for you.

:-)

Why am I telling you all of this, oh who knows.

Just stories brought up from the old memory banks I guess.

The point could be that...

I never got any buried pirate treasure.

But hey, it's never too late is it?

The closest I got so far is that up there.

I still have wigs.

But I don't look good in them so I put them on plastic women.

I still love loot.

I still love rocks.

I still sleep with paint all over me.

And chew too much bubble gum.

I also still have the same nightgown.

(I think I was taunting my sister with snacks I had in my lap)

I mean, a new version.

Which is pretty much identical, thank you Lanz of Salzburg!

And I still hunt for loot and run around all day dressed as such.

So, besides time and a little extra treasure.

I guess not much has changed, hahaha!

And all of a sudden, I have a massive urge to pop into an antique shop.

:-)

 

I would love to hear about your childhood antics?!

Anything that pops right into your mind?

 

Happy weekending!

 

Love, V

 

 

 

 

 

 ps:  I had straightish hair my whole childhood, up until I was in 5th grade and I got a perm.

After which my hair stayed over the top wavy, so now I have wavy hair with ringlets in humidity too.

Weird!

It straightens easy with the blow dryer and a brush, but ya, change-ed hair.

Unless it just changed with age?

Did that happen to any of you?

 

A Song for all the Moms and Daughters out there...

Have you been a devoted lover of a certain musician for years and years?

Someone who you listened to as a teen and then on throughout your life until now?

Whose music has been a part of your life's soundtrack?

One of those people for me is Tori Amos.

She shared her songs of finding your way in my late teens, songs of finding your own fire, courage and strength in my 20's, songs of life and the human experience in my 30's, the now.

There were songs of growing up, losing babies, going on with life through hardships, having a daughter, and the milestone of  Tori turning 50 - and all the emotions and feelings that come with that as you change and grow older.

Through the years her message has been constant -

Never lose your fire and creativity, even if you get off the path and have to refind it, you can!

She speaks about it here.

 Whether you are a fan, a follower or not familiar with her...

 

 If you are a mom or a daughter, you may love this song.

It made me cry.

 

Tori Amos and her 13 year old daughter Natashya doing a duet.

I love the whole song, but the chorus and the end really touch me extra so.

 

This duet is also on her new album.

 

Goodness, that was so lovely wasn't it?

I just had to share it.

 

Love, V

 

 

Tea Party Preparations + Rain Happenings

Mad Tea Party prep is in full swing!!

I have been going absolutely bonkers over here.

I had no phone or internet for 3 days.

Then got it back for a little while, then nothing all day yesterday.

With MTP looming, that's a perfectly good way to make me lose my mind, haha!

It's back now.

Phewey!

And if the crazy monsoon rains don't turn up today all should be okay.

Anything for rain in the desert.

If I do lose power again, I will go to the library or beg my friend to let me use his computer.

This could get hairy my friends!!

Eeeeee!

Also, guests are already turning up.

In red striped stockings!!

And black and white tailored suits.

How fancy schmancy the buglings are getting, don't you think?

The desert is turning bright green everywhere.

Not just where I water.

Frogs everywhere.

And pools of water here and there.

With no snow this winter and no rain for months and months and months.

This rain is a gift.

Glorious rain and sparkly puddles!

Now, if only we can keep my internet on...

I won't have a mad tea party heart attack.

 

Somehow, someway, I will be here with my own post.

Floods of rain or not.

Reminds me of this.....

 

 Alice's Pool of Tears....

 

See you soooooooon!!

Mad Tea Party fun, oh my!!

I am so excited now!!

 

 

 

Metamorphosis...

There is something brewing.

A buzzing, a flutter, a burst of sun through the trees.

Is it rose buds, morphing into petals, opening wide?

Or petal edges drying in the sun?

It's something, but what?

Is it where fuchsia meets thorns?

I wonder in the garden.

Where everything looks different.

It's exciting, it's monumental and then...

Subtle.

The air is scented with fragrances so strong, you feel dizzy.

Jasmine and orange blossoms collide.

Smell that?

As sun goes down, and the wait for trees dripping in leaves continues...

I stroll.

What is it?

Do you know?

Who knows?

Anyone?

I look at cactus pads framed in blooms reminding me of Frida Kahlo.

Flowers and bees will make fruit.

As tiny grapes turn up.

I sniff, I wonder.

I go from anxious to calm.

From curious to alert.

It's a change.

Some kind of change.

Down the steps, up the steps.

Something feels odd and interesting and different?

Is it spring?

Is it me, is it you?

Is it the weather, the time, the years??

What?

And then I start to understand.

It seems clearer.

I hide, and stroll, and think.

Think too much?

Think too little?

I look up, I look down.

I admire that bluest sky.

And then...

I get it.

A little.

A lot.

Not so much.

Maybe.

The bees in the pittosporum sound like an engine at work..

Do they know?

Or...

What if??

What if it's seeing things through someone else's eyes?

 

I don't know what it is.

But I am sure it is some sort of metamorphosis.

I feel a change in the wind.

It's been tapping on my shoulder the last month or two.

In the core of my soul.

Do you feel it too?

 

I am starting to embrace it.

I think I have felt it before.

Yes, I have felt it before.

Journeys in life.

But it has been so long, I almost forgot what it felt like.

 

Everything looks different.

Have you ever woken up one day and realized...

Too much has happened to stay the same.

Or turn your back on it?

Life has taken you on journeys so vast.

You just aren't the same.

And maybe it's good?

 

You try to understand.

This change.

 

But then you realize...

 

That, it's only at the moment that you let go...

Plunge over a cliff, off a tree, into the deepest lagoon...

That you trust and jump...

That you take deep yogi breaths, and sit legs crossed in the dirt...

 

That you say, okay, I give in.

 

Here, have control.

 

That it all begins to make sense?

 

That it doesn't seem scary, but instead, exciting.

 

We grow.

We change.

Growing pains?

Growing gifts?

Growing brain and soul?

 

I don't know.

 

I don't know.

 

Do you?

 

All I know is...

I feel something brewing.

 

Nothing is the same.

Or is it?

Or do we just see it differently.

 

Do you feel it?

Is life trying to tell you something?

 

One thing I know for sure.

It's in the moment that you go with it, and stop fighting...

That a huge peace comes over you.

And it all looks good.

 

I guess, we never stop growing up.

 Seasons change.

And so do we.

Maybe I changed long ago and am barely noticing it?

 

But it's interesting.

I am waiting for what is to come.

 

Is it happening to you as well?

What do you see?  What do you feel?

 

I kind of want to dance and sing more.

And climb really tall hills.

Maybe not mountains, but hills would be okay.

And swim in hidden waterfalls.

I love doing that.

And laugh laugh laugh.

My sister and I have had some serious laughs lately.

So much laughing I had to scream from belly laughter pain.

You see...

We got a hoola hoop.

Does that say it all? 

 

Today is blog post number 1001.

 

Maybe the message is hidden in the questions.

What if this metamorphosis is the acceptance of change?

Woe, that's heavy, haha!

 

I kind of feel like it's about being able to throw your hands up in the air and say, big deal, oh well, c'est la vie!! 

(and really mean it)

 

 

Love, V

 

 

 

 

 

Chatter, Chatter, Chatter...

So, I was on a ladder, up to ribbon and fabric scrap shenanigans...

(which I thought I would have shared by now)

Whilst my brain rumbled about thinking about everything under the sun.

My brain, sometimes it drives me insane.

It thinks and twists and turns and twirls and repeats over and over again.

What about yours?

Yours too?

So, I finally stopped for a lunch break.

When I thought about that quote...

(artprint by Matthew Taylor Wilson)

I have been a pretty optimistic person most of my life.

Making the best out of nearly everything.

By default, not because I try.

Just because it came naturally.

Even when times get tough, my brain pops into happy mode.

(after a proper freak out session of course)

 

A Stroll Through Our Winter Days...

What a beautiful winter we have had so far.

Mild and lovely.

Last week was filled with a few days of grey, but still wonderful.

Painting and sculpting has been going on, as well as lots of chores.

As you know, we stroll around our yard a whole lot.

The boys have their spots they check for bunnies and sniffs.

(which they can never catch, thank goodness).

And I have my own path I like to take.

I go south, then west, then north, then east, and back south, round and round.

I peek here and there.

I stop to eat arugula everyday (it's so abundant).

And sometimes, I get to see dry basil flower silhouettes just as scrumptious sunsets happen.

My garden is so crucial to my mental happiness.

It's just the balance I need between creating and refueling.

When I was 18 and made a full commitment to a life with art, I also took up gardening.

I had been painting since I was around 11.

But I had not been gardening until I was 18 and living alone attending University.

So perhaps, that is why I feel that my garden life and art life are one in the same?

They both healed me when I was on a path to find out who I was.

And stayed with me on a forever journey called life.

At the time, way back then, it felt that nothing mattered to me that other girls were interested in.

I was on such a quest to find the me I am.

Nothing else mattered.

It was a gift to myself, that I didn't even know I was gifting until much later.

Mostly because the search for one's self can be filled with emotion and challenges.

I think it is never too late to find or re-find yourself.

And since we are ever changing with time, I get to know new pieces of me every day.

I have often been asked, how do you find yourself?

When I began my quest at 18/19, I remember asking myself 1 important question.

"What do you like to do?"

At the time, all I liked to do was have fun, dance, party and be in deep love.

But when being in young love came with so much hurt, I realized...

I can't just be someone's girl and rely on that for happiness.

I have to be my own girl, and who the heck is she?

What does she like to do?

What sort of things does she like?

Boy, she loved digging in dirt and splattering paint around.

And, she still does.

I love the garden.

In fact, the other day I was watering one of my terrariums, and the smell of earth and moisture and dark soil and growing things just took my breath away.

There is this intense familiarity and calmness I find in those earth scents.

I love pinching mint in the morning and sniffing.

I love calendula sticking around all winter.

I love puttering around my winter garden.

A little dry and sleepy.

Moving big pots, turning other pots over and refreshing the soil.

Wondering what spring will bring with utter butterfly wings in the belly.

My brain feels very full.

The garden and paint splatters are my souls' necessary medicine.

I can be nervous and worrisome and obsessive, and I can even be sad.

I know this, so I get my balance from things I love to do.

My full heart, and my jumping around with glee almost every day, comes from the balance I know I need.

My balance is here.

Sometimes I wonder...

With everything I know now, about myself.

And the way the last couple years changed me by throwing change and challenges at me.

Oh, and acceptance.

Aaaand, falling off a cliff with arms outstretched in faith...

I wonder...

Can I always find my balance the same way I love to swim?

Is that how knowing yourself works?

Backward and upside down, and flipping through water like it's 2nd nature?

I hope so.

I hope the knowledge of the balance I need is so engrained in me, that my mind knows how to guide my soul to it.

If I ever get really lost.

I need sun, and soil, and fresh air, and paint, and fur, and love and music.

And a soft bed never hurts.

And most of the time love is actually within you.

Oh and, some clay would be nice too.

And if by chance, a hyacinth turns up on a warm in the sun, cool in the shade, winter day...

That would be extra lovely.

The one thing I know for sure.

You can never really please anyone.

No matter how hard you try.

We are all living our own human experience.

It can't be explained.

In the end, you come to find out...

I can only be true to me.

(that is, if you want to be happy)

And, honestly.

I personally, have come to a place in my life where, I won't even try to please.

Or be someone I am not.

I just want to live a happy life, a simple life.

I have learned lessons and things, I can't even begin to describe.

All I care about are pups and gardens and lovee and ridiculous gulps of fresh air, drunk by the sun in the hammock.

I work hard on our property.

I love it so.

I am so glad to be here with all these boys.

Sometimes, the pups make me cry.

Especially, when Matty visits Baby.

But mostly, we run around chasing rabbits.

I think that's what we do at least?

I know there is lots of sniffing going on, and the rabbits have taken up under one of the sheds the last year.

Oh no.

Oh well.

I love this weird place of desert meets forest.

Of giant agave, and trimming trees and brush.

Taking turns sniffing around.

Filling up wheel barrows.

And when the first notes of early cool loving green appear around rock paths...

I sigh.

I have such an understanding of this plot of earth.

This morning there were hundreds of little baby leaves popping up on the orange tree.

It will be 80'F this week.

Winter mostly forgot about us so far, save for a couple cool snaps.

(yay!)

But he's tricky too.

Might turn up when you least expect.

This I know too.

The desert is tricky.

In its dry heat and dropping cold nights.

Mesquite trees know though...

Watch them for spring on the way, they say.

And, I do.

We do.

In this strange place where desert meets the forest.

Imagine barren desert, then high desert, and then mountain evergreens?

With agaricus mushrooms and the whole bit, right up in the mountain.

That's where I am.

The space in between.

The bunnies love to eat my sprouts.

I have found they are hollyhock lovers.

Old or new leaf alike.

So, I cover new sprouts.

And wait eagerly for what they bring.

Coreopsis, mountain garland, hollyhocks, siberian wall flowers, shirley poppies, crimson clover...

Imperial larkspur, evening primrose...

To name a few.

There have been ever so many rose hips this year.

The birds tweet at first sign of morning on the horizon.

The sun takes a while to come over the big mountain.

We listen.

Loving our new guests, the black crows, and their zoo like memory sounds.

Pink mountains at sunset...

Last chance to carry logs around.

Yes, he has turned to little logs.

And insists on taking parcels from UPS.

No matter how heavy or awkward.

He delivers them to the front porch.

He gets the paper every morning, still.

But do not let him see you checking the mail.

Mail is his business, he takes it very seriously.

Who knows why?

But he does :)

Maybe he was a mail delivery person in his past life?

One thing's for sure.

At sunset, everyone runs around the yard one last time.

Fave winter dishes hit the dinner table.

My go to baked chicken.

It's easy as heck.

Make it.

Or just veggies if you don't eat meat.

Season your veggies of choice, put them in a big pan with sides.

I like sliced potatoes and carrots and red bell pepper slices.

(I season with sea salt and garlic powder, and a hint of pepper, you can also toss in a tiny bit of olive oil, but if you are using skin on chicken, you don't need it)

Celery and onions are good too if you like them.

Then season your chicken well, and put it on top of your bed of veggies.

(I use sea salt and garlic powder on the chicken too)

Put a small pat of butter on top of each chicken piece for golden color.

(I do 4-8 pieces at a time depending on how big my baking pan is)

Then simply bake uncovered for 30 minutes at 400'F, then turn heat down to 350'F and bake another 30 minutes.

That's it.

It's flawless.

(I put a sprig of rosemary on my chicken before baking, but you don't have to)

Let the pan sit on stove top about 5-7 minutes before serving.

I love a beautiful dinner that is easy too.

After dinner light.

(yes, we still have lots of pumpkins)

After dinner dogs.

(I always put a sheet where they lay, they always get excited when they see me with a clean sheet)

After dinner play.

After dinner sleep.

Yep, that's our life, right up there :)

And then...

It begins all over again.

Garden, paint, garden, chores, computer break, make...

It's like one big ground hog day.

But, we like it.

 

So, there you go, endless babble.

 

How are you?

 

I am living in my own biosphere, what's going on out there in your neck of the woods???

 

Love, V

 

 

 

 ps:  If you know a dog lover in Arizona, with a super loving home, that is interested in two small 12lb. beautiful little girl dogs, please email me.  Or see the info on my facebook page.  They need a wonderful, loving, forever home.  They deserve it, they are so special. Sniffle.  Wish I could take them in, but Lovee said, heck to the no because my two are already running the roost.

 

Stanley Klaus + Frankincense & Miracle?

 Well, look who decided to turn up in our neck of the woods for the holidays?

Yep, autumn.

Finally.

Just like that, the leaves turned.

We put on our fun stuff, and had a ball.

Clink Clink!

Merry merry, happy happy.

The madness is over, woot woot!

(did I say that out loud? hee hee)

I love Christmas, but it does get crazy, and if I don't calm my brain it spins.

We were however very lucky this holiday season.

We had a very important visitor.

Stanley Klaus was in the house.

(aka Mister Lovee, and his new alter ego me thinks)

He made magic, and made a bunch of kids (of the furry variety) reallly happy.

And me too.

Nothing like kids during the holidays eh?

So, mine are furry, whose looking?

:)

Did they ever had a blast.

My goodness.

Stanley Klaus did good.

He was a hit!

(it's a good thing Stanley Klaus doesn't mind sewing up toys every couple weeks either)

After baby Jesus arrived something funny happened.

I was decorating and baking, when I began to smell frankincense and myrrh.

I couldn't believe it.

A real Christmas miracle??

I was running around, trying to figure out what it was?

But no no, it definitely was around the area baby Jesus was in.

I ran around looking for ML, he came inside and smelled it too.

We were both in awe.

That is...

Until...

I realized...

It was just my fresh wreath being slow roasted by the candles beneath it!

Hahahaha!

It was sort of a miracle, that's for sure.

That the house didn't burn down.

:)

Ooopsie.

Well, after the laughs...

Baking ensued like mad, making treats upon treats...

The lasagna was... oh my!

I sort of made up a recipe.

I did scribble down my steps, I can share them if you'd like.

It was so flavorful, and yet so light too.

Interesting for a lasagna.

Ina Garten's ginger cookies had to show up.

I have a friend who loves ginger, so I wanted to make these for him.

They are really gooey to make, but if you love ginger, these are for you.

They are quite strong and spicy.

With candied ginger inside, moist and crunchy, all in one - yumm.

So much playing, with the gifts of Stanley Klaus, still going on.

Lots of fun gifts, things wrapped in his signature comic strips.

And oodles of thoughtful little things.

Like her...

(with yearly heart rocks inside, yay!)

Fun for all.

Fur in the hammock.

Crunching leaves, hooray!

Giant apricot tree finally takes a break...

Sunny skies and fresh air.

Bliss.

Matty on the lookout.

Boys playing with Stanley Klaus himself  :)

(this happens all day here btw)

My boys jump really high.

Can you believe Matty is still with us and thriving???

We can't.

After that near death scare last winter.

Boy oh boy.

Now that is a miracle right there.

(thanks to Stanley Klaus for doubling as medicine man and giving Matty his meds twice a day still)

He sleeps cuddled up to me at night, and I tell him all the time how hard it was to break him, and get him to love.

And, how I'll keep loving him and softening him up forever.

He just looks at me.

Probably wondering, what the heck is she saying?? haha!

Or thinking, I really want to bite her nose off but she is the only person I love in life.

:)

Can you believe it's barely autumn like around here?

What lovely days I tell ya.

I asked the boys to pose for a holiday portrait.

But instead they tumbled and rolled and acted kooky.

Haha!

They are such characters I have to say.

Thanks guys.

That's the thing about dog kids.

You don't feel compelled to scream at them to get out of the dirt.

Well, I have a few more deliveries to make.

I made about 8 batches of caramel corn this season.

Maybe more.

(and there is not one morsel left, it just kept disappearing)

Plus other things.

I have been working on all sorts of projects behind the scenes.

And, the Valentine order just arrived on Friday.

Time time time...

As my friend put on my birthday card...

Time keeps on slippin' slippin' slippin', into the future.

Wholey Moley, no joke.

Off I go for now.

Fun things on the way.

Did you have any holiday fiascos or hilarious tales?

Like the Frankincense and Myrrhacle that almost happened at our place?

Hee hee!

 

Looove, V

 

 

 

 

Cozy & Warm

The weather man said a winter storm would find its way to us.

Quick!

Get out the hot drinks!

The skies are grey.

The wind is changing.

Yay.

Time to drink hot chocolate.

If you are lucky, you'll get yours in Limoges.

Okay, who am I kidding.

You'll get Limoges no matter what at my house.

I don't believe in not using the good stuff.

Or not wearing your fancy jewels.

I don't believe in saving things for special occasions.

Life's too short.

I don't have time to wait.

Plus, I don't have Limoges because I am soooooo fancy darlink!

But, more than likely, I got the Limoges at an estate sale.

Okay, I did for sure :)

Ooooo, why does everything taste better in French porcelain?

Warm and toasty sips.

Time to...

Get out the neck and head gear.

 

It's getting mighty chilly.

Not chilly as many of you of course.

But, chilly for us snakes and lizards.

The Christmas guys had fresh garland yesterday.

I L O V E fresh garland in the house.

It's not the holidays for me without such freshness.

I have been spending too many hours on the piano.

Leonard Cohen loves to find me.

Then you get inventing a few tunes, and before you know it, with eyes closed you journeyed and ventured on sonic waves that had you in full trance.

Such marvelous places we can go, aren't there?

That and the scent, ooo, I am happy.

Happy happy happy.

I know, I sound just like Phil Robertson.

:)

Smell that?

Mmmmm.

Fresh.

The sky is grey, but ever so bright.

It lets in a hazy cool light.

Fresh garland takes the place of eucalyptus.

I just love green in the house.

But my cutie Christmas boxes are still beckoning me.

A few faces making their way out.

Do you keep many house plants?

I have been bringing in all my plants that can freeze.

(freeze warning in effect)

Usually I just cover them.

Or Lovee does, I should say.

Alas, this year I am bringing them in.

I read that 10 house-plants change the air in your house, and add all kinds of good stuff.

(plus fresh air)

So, the ferns are coming in.

Some are in the ground, but others are liking being inside, me thinks.

I love ferns, you?

I find that people either love em, or don't.

I think I love all plants.

I did some holiday chalkboard stuff, only it seems I sloped everything, haha!

Mermaid's eyes don't look so weird in person as they do on film.

It's just that, the wood is fading in places (eyelids) and makes her eyes look funny.

Poor gal.

I found my moon I have had for 20 years.

Actually, I wasn't even looking for it when I found it.

If only I could find my two missing treasures.

(necklace and brooch)

I hide things, or put them in weird places.

Then they are lost.

Help me moon!

Guess what?

My computer blew up yesterday.

(burnt smell plus the sound of a jet engine emerged and it would not start up)

So, I am extra happy to be here today.

It got fixed in 24 hours, yay!!

But now my good camera is in the hospital.

Something must be wrong with me.

Or perhaps, something is right.

Why?

After all my worry and weird stuff that happened to me the last couple years, I am a changed woman.

My reaction to the camera and computer woes. 

"Oh well, who cares."

I didn't freak out because, well, what can you do about it?

All you can do is take it to be fixed and hope your piggy back has enough coins, and that it can be fixed.

It's all a person can do, ya know?

I was so stressed out and worried in September that at some point my stress hit this shivering peak, and then, I just threw my hands up in the air.

I was like, if I die, well, what can I do about it?

If my house burns down?

If the worstest thing happens???

What can I do?

I have no control over it.

And where does stress get me anyways?

I just want to live my day to day as happy as I can.

In my own little way, in my own little weird world.

So, just go with the flow and the faith, and hope for the best I say.

A sort of succumb and accept dance.

If all else fails...

There's hot chocolate.

If you are like me...

Somehow the hot chocolate explodes over the edge.

The same way the peanut butter and jelly jars do :)

So...

Find a cozy warm spot...

And watch a little winter weather roll in, while sculpting clay.

I am obsessed watching Alaska: The Last Frontier.

I feel so guilty that the store and Burger King are just a short car trip away.

I have this deep yearning to be more self sufficient.

It's such hard work too.

Where that desire comes from, I don't know?

It's such a longing.

Do you ever feel that way?

Wells...

Time to plant tulip bulbs and spread the wildflower seeds for next spring.

Plus, there is clay baking.

Off I go...

See you soon!

 

Love, V

 

 

 

 

 

Life Snippets...

It got so quiet it seems.

A cozy silence in the air.

A change.

A deep breath.

More cooking and baking.

The day temps are dropping, fall is swirling its way into the desert.

October has left us, November has entered.

A collection of photo snippets from the last handful of days decided to visit.

Lighting of candles...

Twinkling of piano keys...

Paint on the palette.

Washing brushes.

Tea at the early morning piano.

Lighting jack-o-lanterns every evening still, until they shrivel away.

Halloween dinner...

An invention with the ingredients I had on hand...

Beautifully browned pork loin on a bed of garlic herbed basmati wild rice (which took 1 hour/forever to cook from scratch), covered in a spinach + sweet onion nutmeg concoction, topped with a scrumptious cherry sauce (which I made from organic frozen cherries) - plus al dente buttery fresh asparagus.

The aromatic rice, plus spinach with nutmeg and cherries over pork, was so over the top good.

We turned on black lights and made fruit drinks with tonic water so they would glow.

It was a wonderful Halloween evening.

Tea days are here for certain.

Cool mornings and reading things.

A little chill in the air.

It's funny how summer leaves from one day to the next.

I like to open certain books randomly, and see what the page says.

As warm sun emerges over the big mountains, bees come out in droves.

Love seeing the bees.

Today, collecting some of the tons of leeks out there, and some basil.

Potato leek soup will happen in a few hours.

Oh, what a scent...

It was a lovely busy weekend.

Dinner for two, whilst standing in the kitchen, hit the spot.

Standing around, music playing.

Rambunctious dogs.

Me rolling up some homemade sushi...

Lots of wasabi in the soy sauce.

Green tea...

Standing around eating and laughing and talking.

Love those moments.

Dia de los muertos was a day for us to remember our furry girl...

I am so happy I pressed her paw print into polymer clay the day before she died.

Her paws were moist and muddy, so they left some soil in the imprints which I LOVE.

Miss her, always.

Memories of loved ones who have departed fluttered about.

Marigolds and candles here and there.

And then, there were potato latkes.

Shred some potatoes, add some eggs...

Spice up as you wish.

You can salt them after so that the potatoes don't release too much liquid before cooking.

Mix up...

Form into cakes.

Pop in a pan of hot olive oil, cook until browned on both sides.

Eat.

Sour cream, jam, applesauce, ketchup...

Your choice ;)

How can you ever go wrong with a potato latke?

By the way, where is my fave tattered sweatshirt to paint in on cool days???

(I have two of the same one all painted, do you keep two of things also?)

Oh, someone stole it for a nap.

If you can't have your mama for nap time cuddling, I guess her sweatshirt will do.

:)

Heart love!

If you want to be touched beyond words and sob your eyeballs silly, watch a movie called "The Whale."  Luna will touch you to the core.  Oh Luna.......  (it's on Netflix instant)

 

How have you been?

 

What does November bring your way???

 

Love, V

 

 

 

 

Back to Life!

Helloooooooooo Friends!!!

Here I am!

I lived!

I made it!!

Oh my goodness...

Does it feel good to type those words?!

I have been to the other side of all that is scary and awful, through the dark tunnel of freaking out and despair.  Kneeling in a little church, praying like a mad woman.  The beautiful support of my incredible family surrounding me, even though at times it was hard to grasp, and then all of a sudden a little light goes on in the tunnel.  Something good on its way, and you wonder to yourself?  Is it possible that everything could turn out better than good?  You are afraid to believe it.

Scary things in life turn you upside down and inside out.

They make everything blurry and weird and gasp worthy.

Everything changes, the important things morph, your life takes a new shape and meaning.

The fear is unreal.

My strong faith is the only thing that got me through.

People tell you that you will learn so much about yourself.

But you are drowning, and you can't understand it.

Until....

You do.

You learn sooo much about yourself.

You learn about your strength.

Your friends.

Your rock star parents, who you can count on in unreal ways.

Your heart.

The important things in life stand out in such different ways.

Still learning, changing.

There is so much to tell and say, but I am still supposed to be good.

And stay in bed.

And not do anything major for a little while longer.

But I had to come back, I woke up this morning missing you and this place.

The best part of my crazy weird journey?

My family, my amazing mom and dad and sis.

Dad like a strong rock, positive and tough, doing all sorts of errands and trips.

Phone calls with my brother.

Mister Lovee, always there.

My mom with me through every single little thing.

Every moment.

My heart wanted to pop and explode with my love for my mom.

Her kindness.

Her being there.

It was the most meaningful experience of my entire life.

That mom of mine.

Painting my toes with pink frosting and glitter on top...

Making me breakfast, and lunch and dinner, and stocking my freezer with homemade organic non-chemical foods.

Making my bed in layers and layers of comforters and ironed sheets and endless pillows.

Always there.

Asking, are you okay my love?

Holding my tearful head as we drove to the hospital in 4:30 a.m. darkness.

I remember the love I had for my mother as a child.

5 years old, having to go to school and not wanting anything more than staying with her at home.

Sobbing little girl.

Then you grow up and want to go far away and make your own life.

But, for the first time in 30+ years, I felt like that little girl again.

It's funny how things go full circle, isn't it?

I love my mom more than I could ever describe.

She rolled her eyes at my raspberry fingers.

Some things never change...

My little family checked in on me.

My Miles.

Worried, wanting to be by my side.

Matty, insisting he be with me.

 He was a handful, with his people hating.

But he was nice to Mombie, even though she doesn't trust him very much :)

He just protects me like a mean soldier, haha!

I'm his fave.

And then my sleepy boy.

Crying to get in bed with me.

Dahlia mail beckoning, I caved.

Don't send me garden seed and tuber/bulb teasing when I am stuck in bed :)

Slow walks.

Refinding my little path, sun over early morning mountains...

Fairy tales growing.

Cinderella's coach perhaps?

October in the garden.

Morning sun, peeking about.

Gourdy gourd gourd gourd.

And then, last night I had to do it.

I escaped into the garden.

It was cool and glorious.

Roses peeking back out.

Although, this is where you will still find me below...

My surgery went very well, save for some anesthesia puking (worst part) despite the anesthesiologists best efforts.  That took a few days to subside.

The hospital stay was wonderful, everyone was so nice to me, so kind.

My doc is amazing.

I am just a bit bruised and battered, but good.

And all my lil' strange ailments from the last couple years had a source that has been nipped in the bud.

It took a long time to figure out, but it was soooo good to find the issue and tackle it.

I can't wait for cartwheels time.

Maybe in 6 weeks or so?

It's funny, when you want to relax and lay around you can't.

And when you are forced to, you want to escape ;)

HELP! I might die of boredom.

Haha!

Thank goodness for October garden nights.

It's autumn for real.

Can you believe it?

How are you?

How is life?

What's going on out there???

Fill me in, I have been in a vacuum.

I am in the middle of nowhere, tucked in a nook, I might go mad ;)

 

Much Love,

Vanessa

 

 

ps:  My shop is back open, Halloween is on!!  Wooo! So exciting!

Welcome Autumn

Autumn entered in a whirlwind of rain and wind, lightning and thunder.

And yet, summer tried to wrestle autumn away.

Alas, autumn won.

Pomegranate leaves turned yellow, just like that.

It is cool under the moon tonight.

Mombie and I went out to turn off the twinkle lights in the cottage, and we ooed and aaahed about the brisk air and star filled sky.

The pumpkins are coming along, more than I even thought.

Thank you pumpkin king, for the gift of your orange beautiful babes in the garden.

Early morning sky had a glimmer of light.

Like a big brushstroke of golden paint.

The pups carry on with their lovely shenanigans.

Miles and his morning paper delivery always warms the heart.

I am off, on my way for a little while.

Pumpkins will wait for me.

I look forward to collecting.

Most of all, I look forward to continued visits with you.

See you on the other side of bits and bobs of life's crazy adventures.

My heart loves this place to bursting.

Here, in blog land with you.

Your visits, your light shining through.

I hope to see you once again.

Sooner than soon.

 

Much love,

Vanessa

 

 

 

Of Water Droplets & Fur

Waking up to rain.

Grey skies.

What a treat in the hot sunnny desert.

Rain day, feels like a holiday.

Drizzling all day makes us so happy!

If you can bear it...

And, you won't mind socializing with me...

You might be seeing more of me here, rather than less.

There is a measure of sanity in taking photographs and chattering nonsensically it seems.

For me at least.

:)

I stood on the back porch, moist cool air.

Morning rain, not afternoon monsoon rain.

Very very interesting.

Droplets like gems, growing things so grateful.

Dancing cheek to cheek...

Counting loot.